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To approve is to judge someone or something as good or acceptable

• Approve: To believe that something or someone is good or acceptable. Merriam Webster
• Approve: To speak or think favorably of; pronounce or consider agreeable or good; judge favorably. Dictionary.com
• Approve: Have a good opinion of. Cambridge Dictionary
• Conformity,  Worrying what others think,  Fame,  Criticism,  Perfectionism

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It’s in our nature and conditioning to seek approval from others …

• The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated. William James
• In many ways we were drugged when we were young. We were brought up to need people. For what? For acceptance, approval, appreciation, applause. Anthony de Mello
• At the heart of personality is the need to feel a sense of being lovable without having to qualify for that acceptance. Maurice Wagner
• A motto of the human race: Let me do as I like, and give me approval as well. Idries Shah
• Appreciation, applause, approval, respect – we all love it! Tom Peters
• For mankind knows hardly a joy which will surpass that of approval of his work. Ernest Vincent Wright
• Man does not live by murder alone. He needs affection, approval, encouragement and, occasionally, a hearty meal. Alfred Hitchcock
• One longs to be funny, to make people laugh. Laughter is such a sign of approval, isn’t it? Tom Baker
• Our need for social approval sticks more terribly and irreversibly to us than dosa on a damaged Teflon-coated pan. Rachna Singh
• Power, approval, comfort, and control are meta-idols that hold sway over our daily lives. Timothy Keller
• The sole impulse which dictates and compels a man’s every act: the imperious necessity of securing his own approval, in every emergency and at all costs…. It is our only spur, our whip, our goad, our impelling power; we have no other. Mark Twain
• There is a hunger in every human being for approval. Les Giblin
• This joy of discovery is real, and it is one of our rewards. So too is the approval of our work by our peers. Henry Taube

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…something that has been instilled in us since childhood …

• Most children were taught from a young age to seek approval from their parents for the things they said or did. Since the need for approval, love and acceptance from our parents is strong, we become conditioned over time to seek approval from others as well. Whenever we don’t receive approval from someone who is not our parent, there is an automatic trigger and desire to win it back. Lauren Suval

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Often we seek approval from people we don’t even care about

• I was part of that strange race of people aptly described as spending their lives doing things they detest, to make money they don’t want, to buy things they don’t need, to impress people they dislike.  Emile Henry Gauvreau
• The approval of such men, who do not even stand well in their own eyes, has no value for him. Marcus Aurelius
• I despise the pleasure of pleasing people that I despise. Mary Wortley Montagu
• I must work harder to achieve my goal of not seeking approval from those whose approval I’m not even sure is important to me. Lauren Graham
• The need for affirmation,  Understanding human needs

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Approval seeking is based on the misperception that another’s opinion of us is more important than our own

• I have often wondered how it is that every man loves himself more than all the rest of men, but yet sets less value on his own opinion of himself than on the opinion of others. Marcus Aurelius
• I am not what I think I am and I am not what you think I am; I am what I think that you think I am. Charles Horton Cooley
• Everyone returns us to a different sense of ourselves, for we become a little of who they think we are. Alain de Botton
• How you are seen by others becomes the mirror that tells you what you are like and who you are. Eckhart Tolle
• Approval seeking is based on false beliefs including “I am not worthy of love unless you think I am.” and “How I feel about myself needs to depend on how you feel about me.” Anthony Lambert Approval seeking is the misperception that your opinion of me is more important than my own opinion of me. Anthony Lambert
• How you are seen by others turns into how you see yourself. Eckhart Tolle
• If your opinion of yourself means more to you than other’s opinions of you, you won’t feel the degradation if someone disagrees. Matt Karamazov
• My point? Evaluating yourself solely on the basis of others’ approval or disapproval can be misleading. The mere fact of others’ approval or disapproval of you is meaningless unless you understand and agree with the reasons behind others’ evaluations of you. Pavel Somov
• Self-approval is acquired mainly from the approval of other people. Mark Twain
• The logic of worldly success rests on a fallacy: the strange error that our perfection depends on the thoughts and opinions and applause of other men! A weird life it is, indeed, to be living always in somebody else’s imagination, as if that were the only place in which one could at last become real! Thomas Merton
• It is a peculiar sensation, this double-consciousness, this sense of always looking at one’s self through the eyes of others, of measuring one’s soul by the tape of a world that looks on in amused contempt and pity. William Edward Burghardt Du Bois

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Our need for approval and fear of disapproval stems from our evolutionary need to belong

• Humans share an innate drive to connect with others. We’re evolutionarily wired to crave inclusion. Eons ago, this was linked with our survival; in prehistoric times, rejection triggered fear. If someone became isolated or was ousted from the group, his or her life would be at risk. Because the consequences of being rejected were so extreme, our brains and behavior adapted to avoid disapproval from others. In fact, research has shown that social rejection activates many of the same brain regions involved in physical pain, which helps explains why disapproval stings. Melody Wilding
• The number one need in all people is the need for acceptance, the need to experience a sense of belonging to something and someone. The need for acceptance is more powerful in your family than anywhere else…. If that need is not met by your family, trust me, your kids will go elsewhere to seek it in order to find approval and acceptance. Phil McGraw

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An excessive need for approval comes from the ego…

• If you want to reach a state of bliss, then go beyond your ego and the internal dialogue. Make a decision to relinquish the need to control, the need to be approved, and the need to judge. Those are the three things the ego is doing all the time. It’s very important to be aware of them every time they come up. Deepak Chopra
• I do not care so much what I am to others as I care what I am to myself. Michel de Montaigne
• Desire for approval and recognition is a healthy motive, but the desire to be acknowledged as better, stronger, or more intelligent than a fellow being or fellow scholar easily leads to an excessively egoistic psychological adjustment, which may become injurious for the individual and for the community. Albert Einstein
• The Ego, however, is not who you really are. The ego is your self-image; it is your social mask; it is the role you are playing. Your social mask thrives on approval. It wants control, and it is sustained by power, because it lives in fear. Deepak Chopra

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… and its true source is often a poor sense of self esteem

• Excessive need for approval is typically the result of an overly negative self-image. Carolyn Gregoire
• If I wasn’t so insecure about myself I wouldn’t work as hard as I do. I am constantly seeking approval. Jonathan Rhys Meyers
• She lacks confidence, she craves admiration insatiably. She lives on the reflections of herself in the eyes of others. She does not dare to be herself. Anais Nin
• If you find yourself craving approval, you are low on self-love. Stop grasping for a few scraps wherever you can. Go home and make yourself a feast. Love yourself deeply today. Vironika Tugaleva
• Shyness is I-ness. Shyness is really wondering if you have other people’s approval. Dorothy Sarnoff

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The universal craving for approval is particularly evident in today’s social media and celebrity culture

• In terms of approval, the Internet is a seductive place. Part of this is because the Internet makes approval feel more tangible. No one in real life can like or star or retweet something you say. The best they can do is laugh a little harder, smile a little bigger. Not so with the Internet. The approval you feel is instantly measured by how much a post is shared, liked, favorited, or reposted. The danger of posting something online for me lies in the way I track its reception like a new iPhone about to be delivered to my doorstep: obsessively and compulsively. I want to feel the rush of approval. Sammy Rhodes
• We’re high on the adrenaline of feeling, even though we know it’s fleeting and evanescence. And we’re getting worse — checking texts and emails and Facebook every five minutes, always searching for that next hit of feeling, that next morsel of approval. Deborah Meyler
• Letting the need for approval determine your life has hugely stressful ramifications — look at the rate of celebrity-suicide. Did you know that there is a website called Kevo that tracks the approval rating of celebrities? Imagine the stress of perpetually living in fear that the ratings will go down! Rachna Singh

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Approval seeking is natural in moderation but it becomes a problem when we give up our true selves to find it

• Acceptance is approval, a word with a bad name in some psychologies. Yet it is perfectly normal to seek approval in childhood and throughout life. We require approval from those we respect. The kinship it creates lifts us to their level, a process referred to in self-psychology as transmuting internalization. Approval is a necessary component of self-esteem. It becomes a problem only when we give up our true self to find it. Then approval-seeking works against us. David Richo
• Somewhere in the middle of being driven by what other people think, the tension between the desire for approval and the fear of disapproval, are we missing what we really want? Rachna Singh
• The fallacy of approval is based on the idea that it’s not just desirable but vital to get the approval of virtually every person. People who accept this idea seek approval from others, even when they have to sacrifice their own principles and happiness to do so. Ronald B. Adler
• There’s something very addictive about people pleasing. It’s a thought pattern and a habit that feels really, really good until it becomes desperate. Anne Hathaway
• We’re so used to presenting ourselves and getting approval according to our achievements that it’s difficult to be authentic and trust that we’ll be accepted just as we are. Tara Brach
• What if you wake up some day, and you’re 65… and you were just so strung out on perfectionism and people-pleasing that you forgot to have a big juicy creative life? Anne Lamott

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An excessive need for approval comes at a heavy price

• The need to impress others causes half the world’s woes.  Vernon Howard

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The need for approval can create fear, pain and disappointment

• When you say or do anything to please, get, keep, influence, or control anyone or anything, fear is the cause and pain is the result.  Byron Katie
• If we are addicted to people’s approval, we will always experience pain when that approval is withdrawn–as it always is. Joyce Meyer
• Lean too much on other people’s approval and it becomes a bed of thorns.  Tehyi Hsieh
• If your joy is derived from what society thinks of you, you’re always going to be disappointed. Madonna
• You’ll have less heartaches and disappointments if you stop seeking from others the things ONLY God and you can give yourself! Yvonne Pierre
• Approval is a lover who will always break your heart. Sammy Rhodes
• Applause felt like approval, and it became a drug that soothed the pain, but only temporarily. Anita Baker
• Fear,  Pain,  Suffering,  Disappointment

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The need for approval puts your happiness in another’s hands …

• He who seeks for applause only from without has all his happiness in another’s keeping.  Oliver Goldsmith
• The person who seeks all their applause from outside has their happiness in another’s keeping . Claudius Claudianus
• Most people are resentful of the happiness of others and yet we seem to seek validation from others in order to allow our own happiness… it’s easy to see the problem with this system. Steve Maraboli
• If you base your self-worth on how often people compliment and validate you, then you’re allowing others to decide how you feel about yourself.  Levien Neelman
• You can’t just wait for everybody to give you approval – you will just be waiting. Miriam Shor
• Happiness

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… making you their hostage

• Wanting another’s approval makes you their hostage. It puts your happiness in their hands.  The truth is you are 100% responsible for your own happiness.  Byron Katie
• Care about people’s approval and you will be their prisoner. Lao Tzu
• As long as we require someone else to make us happy, we are slaves. Swami Vivekananda
• How do you react when you think you need people’s love? Do you become a slave for their approval? Byron Katie
• Once we begin chasing approval, we never stop running. It’s servitude to a thousand masters instead of one to please. David Jeremiah
• Slavery,  Freedom

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The need for approval can make you pretend to be who you are not …

• People striving for approval from others become phony. Ichiro Suzuki
• Until we become fully free, we put up a false front, a facade, to others for the purpose of winning the acceptance and approval of others. We behave in accordance with what we think the other one wants rather than by expressing our own real feelings. Lester Levenson
• If I believe I need your approval, then I begin to say the things that I think you want me to say and I begin to do the things that I think you want me to do. I turn into someone I’m not. So when you say, “I approve of you, you’re wonderful”, I can never believe you because you are approving of someone that doesn’t exist and I know that. Byron Katie
• In civilized life, where the happiness, and indeed almost the existence, of man depends so much upon the opinion of his fellow men, he is constantly acting a studied part.  Washington Irving
• Being all serious about what people think about you, even if you’re one of those silent mysterious types with a serious demeanor, is not being authentic… it’s putting on a show. Chris McCombs
• How can I be sincere if I am constantly changing my mind to conform with the shadow of what I think others expect of me? Thomas Merton
• If you are busy pleasing everyone, you are not being true to yourself.  Jocelyn Murray
• If you’re conscientiously seeking approval, you’re not being true to yourself. Tomas Kalnoky
• We’ve become conditioned to compromise and shrink ourselves in order to be liked. The problem is, when you work so hard to get everyone to like you, you very often end up not liking yourself so much. Reshma Saujani
• Being yourself,  Integrity,  Self-respect

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… so others end up approving of someone who doesn’t even exist

• How do you react when you think you need people’s love? Do you become a slave for their approval? Do you live an inauthentic life because you can’t bear the thought that they might disapprove of you? Do you try to figure out how they would like you to be, and then try to become that, like a chameleon? In fact, you never really get their love. You turn into someone you aren’t, and then when they say “I love you,” you can’t believe it, because they’re loving a facade. They’re loving someone who doesn’t even exist, the person you’re pretending to be. It’s difficult to seek other people’s love. It’s deadly. In seeking it, you lose what is genuine. This is the prison we create for ourselves as we seek what we already have.  Byron Katie

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The need for approval can drive you to manipulate others

• How do I react when I believe I need your approval?  I compliment you when I think I don’t mean it. I exaggerate about my life so you’ll find me attractive or interesting. I say what I think you want to hear. And I agree with you when I don’t agree. I begin to lie in fact. I pretend I’m interested when maybe my mind is 1000 miles away. I smile as though I’m very connected to you. Whatever it takes to manipulate your approval. Whatever facade it takes, I turn into that facade.  Byron Katie

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The need for approval stops you from sharing all of yourself

• Our human condition makes us tend to share only the best of ourselves, because we are always searching for love and approval.  Paulo Coelho

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The need for approval makes everyone your judge

• If you need encouragement, praise, pats on the back from everybody, then you make everybody your judge.  Fritz Perls
• Judgement

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The need for approval strengthens the fear of rejection and condemnation

• Most fears of rejection rest on the desire for approval from other people. Don’t base your self- esteem on their opinions. Harvey Mackay
• As much as we thirst for approval we dread condemnation. Hans Selye

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The need for approval makes you easy to own, control and manipulate

• If you are an approval addict, your behaviour is as easy to control as that of any other junkie. All a manipulator need do is a simple two-step process: Give you what you crave, and then threaten to take it away. Every drug dealer in the world plays this game.   Harriet B. Braiker
• So long as you are still worried about what others think of you, you are owned by them. Only when you require no approval from outside yourself can you own yourself. Neale Donald Walsch

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The need for approval requires a constant, exhausting struggle for it can always be taken away

• Living up to someone’s high opinion of you can be very hard work. Anthony Lambert
• To seek approval is to have no resting place, no sanctuary.  Like all judgment, approval encourages a constant striving.  It makes us uncertain of who we are and of our true value. This is as true of the approval we give ourselves as it is of the approval we offer others.  Approval can’t be trusted.  It can be withdrawn at any time no matter what our track record has been.  It is as nourishing of real growth as cotton candy.  Yet many of us spend our lives pursuing it. Rachel Naomi Remen
• Your high opinion of me is your opinion only. Any moment you may change it. Why attach importance to opinions, even your own? Nisargadatta Maharaj

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The need for approval makes you sacrifice your uniqueness in order to conform

• Man’s desire for the approval of his fellows is so strong, his dread of their censure so violent, that he himself has brought his enemy (conscience) within his gates; and it keeps watch over him, vigilant always in the interests of its master to crush any half-formed desire to break away from the herd. William Somerset Maugham
• If your number one goal is to make sure that everyone likes and approves of you, then you risk sacrificing your uniqueness and, therefore, your excellence. Edge Keynote
• Don’t conform for the sake of pleasing others. Mold yourself into the person that you want to be. Dr. Seuss
• It is our nature to conform; it is a force which not many can successfully resist. What is its seat? The inborn requirement of self-approval. Mark Twain
• The conformist is filled with the need for approval. He can never get enough. He runs from one person to another seeking compliments and endorsements for his behavior and actions. As a child, he turned to parents and teachers; when he started to work, to his boss and fellow workers; in marriage, he turned to his mate. He must always have someone around to pat him on the head and tell him he is doing a good job. This bolsters up his poor self-esteem. Robert Anthony
• Fear,  Rejection

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The need for approval is an impossible attempt to control another’s mind

• You can’t control someone else’s thinking. You can’t even control your own. There’s no one thinking anyway. It’s a house of mirrors. Seeking approval means being stuck in the thought “I’m a this,” this little speck, this limited thing. Byron Katie
• Realise what you can’t control

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The need for approval and seeking it wastes time and energy

• Life is too short to waste time waiting for other people’s approval on how you live it.  Steve Maraboli
• Life is too short to try to keep everyone happy.  Joel Osteen
• You can’t please everyone, but you can sure waste a lot of time and energy trying. Anthony Lambert
• What a tiring way to live, when your self-worth is constantly relying on the affirmation and approval of others. Darlene Zschech
• Waste,  Time

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Approval can be withdrawn at any time

• Your high opinion of me is your opinion only. Any moment you may change it. Why attach importance to opinions, even your own?  Nisargadatta Maharaj
• Fame is an illusive thing – here today, gone tomorrow. The fickle, shallow mob raises its heroes to the pinnacle of approval today and hurls them into oblivion tomorrow at the slightest whim; cheers today, hisses tomorrow; utter forgetfulness in a few months. Henry Miller

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Approval seeking is a loss of personal power

• When we consistently suppress and distrust our intuitive knowingness, looking instead for authority, validation, and approval from others, we give our personal power away. Shakti Gawain
• When one is trying to do something beyond his known powers it is useless to seek the approval of friends. Friends are at their best in moments of defeat. Henry Miller
• Here is the thing about the need for approval…. You are not driven by your own goals rather by something that someone else has deemed important. It takes away the power you have over your situation and gives it to someone else. Nicole Sanders
• Don’t seek approval. This may be the toughest suggestion for you to follow — and the most important. Whether you’te a teenager seeking approval from your peers, a middle-aged parent seeking the approval of your kids, or a man or woman seeking the approval of a partner, it all amounts to the same thing. You’re giving your personal power away every time you seek validation from someone else for who you are. Trish MacGregor
• Power

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To seek approval is to assume you aren’t whole

• When you believe the thought that anyone should love you, that’s where the pain begins. I often say, “If I had a prayer, it would be: ‘God spare me from the desire for love, approval, or appreciation. Amen.”  To seek people’s love and approval assumes that you aren’t whole.  Byron Katie

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Even when you get approval, you can can never know if it’s sincere…

• If you say you approve of me, I can never know if it’s true. Byron Katie
• I can never know if I have your approval or not, even if you tell me you approve of me.  Byron Katie
• Until we approve of us, we can never buy that someone approves of us.  We can agree that that’s their opinion of us, but what what they’re really experiencing, we can never know.  Byron Katie
• My advice to you concerning applause is this: enjoy it but never quite believe it. Robert Montgomery
• Do not trust to the cheering, for those persons would shout as much if you and I were going to be hanged. Oliver Cromwell
• As long as you look for someone else to validate who you are by seeking their approval, you are setting yourself up for disaster. You have to be whole and complete in yourself. No one can give you that. You have to know who you are – what others say is irrelevant.  Nic Sheff
• Self-esteem,  Self-worth,  Whole-heartedness,  Completeness

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…or even what the true source of the approval actually is

• Not all approval is good news and not all disapproval is bad news. Imagine that you meet somebody and you think that he likes you. You wonder why. Then it dawns on you that he is a taker and that he probably likes you because he sees that he can take advantage of you. You realize that he approves of you for a rather unflattering reason. When you think through the meaning of this approval, it feels more like a criticism than a compliment. Well, what if we turn this scenario around: you meet somebody and you think he doesn’t like you. You wonder why. Then it dawns on you: this person is threatened by your intelligence. You realize that his dislike of you is actually an indirect compliment. This disapproval confirms to you something that you do value about yourself. My point? Evaluating yourself solely on the basis of others’ approval or disapproval can be misleading. The mere fact of others’ approval or disapproval of you is meaningless unless you understand and agree with the reasons behind others’ evaluations of you. Pavel Somov

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There’s nothing personal in praise or approval

• If you base your self-worth on how often people compliment and validate you, then you’re allowing others to decide how you feel about yourself. If someone compliments you, it’s no more personal than a direct insult. They’re simply calling it how they see it, and that may or may not be accurate–only you can be the judge of that. If someone compliments you, that doesn’t make you a better person, it makes them a better person because they’re taking the time to be supportive and encouraging. Your value remains unchanged, because it’s something that comes from within.   Levien Neelman
• People will love you. People will hate you. And none of it will have anything to do with you. Abraham Hicks
• Is my value based only on your perception? Or is your opinion of me not my responsibility? Billie Eilish
• What people in the world think of you is really none of your business. Martha Graham
• Do not take things personally

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Spare yourself from seeking approval from anyone …

• You must let go of wanting approval and you must stop being so sensitive. Karl Moore
• Stop being so darn sensitive – and stop wanting approval. Karl Moore
• If I had a prayer, it would be this: “God, spare me from the desire for love, approval, or appreciation.” Amen.   Byron Katie
• I don’t want people’s approval. I want people to think the way they think. That’s love. Manipulating and trying to change someone is like trying to rape his mind. “You there!  Stop your internal life and focus over here, on me!  Byron Katie
• Spare yourself from seeking love, approval, or appreciation—from anyone. And watch what happens in reality, just for fun.  Byron Katie

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…. except yourself

• But if I needed something from him, if I wanted his approval, that would be another  story. So I turn it around – I want my approval. And if  I sold out for approval, it wouldn’t feel honest inside me; there would be no peace.  Byron Katie
• You should seek approval from yourself. Ichiro Suzuki

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Letting go of the need for approval will make you happier

• I do not exist to impress the world. I exist to live my life in a way that will make me happy.  Richard Bach
• One reason why birds and horses are not unhappy is because they are not trying to impress other birds and horses.  Dale Carnegie
• Be happy. Be yourself. If others don’t like it, then let them be. Happiness is a choice. Life isn’t about pleasing everybody. John Spence
• Self-love,  Self-acceptance

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Letting go of the need for approval makes you more aware of your natural worth …

• Humility just means that you’re stepping out of the rat race of self-glorification. You’re not trying to build up your ego, impress people, or compete with others for status. You’re not preoccupied with yourself. What a relief!    Not chasing praise, you become more aware of your natural worth—which becomes easier for others to see as well; the less you focus on being appreciated, the more appreciation you’ll get.  Rick Hanson
• Self-worth,  Self-esteem

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… and allows you to start gaining your own approval…

• When you stop seeking approval from elsewhere, you start gaining your own approval. You begin to like yourself. Byron Katie
• Do I approve of me and do I approve of you?  That’s my work. Not do you approve of me. Byron Katie

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Letting go of the need for approval lets you be yourself …

• Naturalness is the easiest thing in the world to acquire, if you will forget yourself-forget about the impression you are trying to make.  Dale Carnegie

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… thereby setting you free

• Wanting another’s approval makes you their hostage. It puts your happiness in their hands.  The truth is you are 100% responsible for your own happiness. When you approve of yourself, you are free. If others approve of you, isn’t that also wonderful. And if they don’t approve of you, that’s good too. It doesn’t need to effect your life. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion and how they see things. Have you noticed, people do see things the way that they see things?  Byron Katie
• The less you need someone’s approval, the more you are able to love them. Susan Jeffers
• Freedom,  Transcendence

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Letting go of the need for approval brings an inner calm

• There is something magical that happens to the human spirit, a sense of calm that comes over you, when you cease needing all the attention directed toward yourself and instead allow others to have the glory. Richard Carlson
• Great tranquility of heart is his who cares for neither praise not blame. Thomas Kempis
• Peace,  Calmness,  Equanimity

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Letting go of the need for approval gives you a quiet, inner confidence

• Ironically, when you surrender your need to hog the glory, the attention you used to need from other people is replaced by a quiet inner confidence that is derived from letting others have it.  Richard Carlson

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Letting go of the need for approval brings strength

• A truly strong person does not need the approval of others any more than a lion needs the approval of sheep.  Vernon Howard
• Self-confidence

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Letting go of the need creates personal power

• When you do not seek or need external approval – you are at your most powerful. Caroline Myss

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Letting go of the need for approval opens you up to valuable feedback from others

• When you stop seeking approval, you become a student. You’re open.  Byron Katie
• It’s very powerful in life not to have approval because it takes me back to myself. Often when people don’t approve of me, I’ve done something that I don’t approve of either. And I’m always grateful when people wake me up to what is not kind. Any time I live out of a sense of unkindness, then I feel that. It doesn’t feel like balance.  Byron Katie
• Who would I be without the thought I need your approval? A listener.  A student. Open. Learning. Growing. Approving of myself. Approving of you. Doing my work.  Grateful.  Byron Katie
• Approval isn’t necessary. It’s nice when you get it, but it’s not going to stop us from being who we are. I mean, if I’d have listened to approval, I’d never have made it one day onstage. But to be criticized, if there’s validity, as upset as you are, you can learn from it.  Jared Leto

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The less you care about seeking approval, the more approval you seem to get…

• The less you care about seeking approval, the more approval you seem to get.  Richard Carlson
• The best way to get approval is not to need it. Hugh MacLeod
• People who want the most approval get the least and people who need approval the least get the most. Wayne Dyer
• Those whose approval you seek most give you the least. Maurice Chevalier
• An amazing thing happens when you stop seeking approval and validation: You find it. People are naturally drawn like magnets to those who know who they are and cannot be shaken!  Mandy Hale
• I think the most attractive thing for me when I meet a guy is confidence and him being comfortable in his own skin. I like someone who doesn’t need approval or validation. Minka Kelly
• You get the most approval when you care the least about it. Wayne Dyer
• The people who receive the most approval in life are the ones who care the least about it–so technically, if you want the approval of others, you need to stop caring about it. Wayne Dyer

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…as people are far more likely to respect you

• You will never gain anyone’s approval by begging for it. When you stand confident in your own worth, respect follows. Mandy Hale
• Once we give up searching for approval we often find it easier to earn respect. Gloria Steinem
• Those whose approval you seek the most give you the least. Rozanne Weissman
• Whenever you are too worried about someone else’s approval, that person loses respect for you. Sherry Argov
• The fallacy of approval is irrational because it implies that others will respect and like you more if you go out of your way to please them. Often this simply isn’t true. Would you respect people who have compromised important values just to gain acceptance? Are you likely to think highly of people who repeatedly deny their own needs as a means of buying approval? Ronald B. Adler

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Let go of the need for approval by learning to approve of yourself

• A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval. There is nothing more satisfying than that sense of being completely at home” in your own skin. When you achieve that as a natural state of “being”, then you can finally look beyond yourself and fully contribute all your talents to the world.” Mark Twain
• The main reason we seek external approval is because of internal disapproval. Go to the source…  Robert Beno
• What do you mean I have to wait for someone’s approval?  I’m someone.  I approve.  So I give myself permission to move forward with my full support! Richelle E. Goodrich
• When you are your own best friend, you don’t endlessly seek out relationships, friendships, and validation from the wrong sources because you realize that the only approval and validation you need is your own. Mandy Hale
• The only permission, the only validation, and the only opinion that matters in our quest for greatness is our own.  Steve Maraboli
• A man cannot be comfortable [or cannot be made comfortable] without his own approval. Barbara Walters
• We can secure other people’s approval, if we do right and try hard; but our own is worth a hundred of it, and no way has been found out of securing that.  Mark Twain
• I can spot empty flattery and know exactly where I stand. In the end it’s really only my own approval or disapproval that means anything. Agnetha Faltskog
• I need no warrant for being and no sanction upon my being. I am the warrant and the sanction. Ayn Rand
• The need to be approved by others is your own need to be approved by yourself. Gabrielle Wichowski
• The most splendid achievement of all is the constant striving to surpass yourself and to be worthy of your own approval. Denis Waitley
• Stop seeking approval in others, find it within.
• Take your focus off how others see you. Cease being obsessed with the need to impress your friends and your foes. Keep your concern on the vision you see in the mirror. Don’t allow the approval of others to obstruct your view of you. Tavis Smiley
• Until we accept and approve of ourselves, no amount of approval from others will keep us permanently secure. Joyce Meyer
• We are forever looking outside ourselves, seeking approval and striving to impress others. But living to please others is a poor substitute for self-love, for no matter how family and friends may adore us, they can never satisfy our visceral need to love and honor ourselves. Susan L. Taylor
• What do you mean I have to wait for someone’s approval? I’m someone. I approve. So I give myself permission to move forward with my full support! Richelle E. Goodrich
• You have been criticizing yourself for years and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens. Louise Hay
• You have the approval of yourself. That’s quite enough for we who know true inner peace!  Charmainism Charmaine
• Self-love,  Self-acceptance

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Let go of the need for approval by accepting, trusting and believing in yourself

• Because one believes in oneself, one doesn’t try to convince others. Because one is content with oneself, one doesn’t need others’ approval. Because one accepts oneself, the whole world accepts him or her.  Lao Tzu
• The better you feel about yourself, the less you feel the need to show off. Robert Hand
• The need for approval is based on a single assumption. ‘Don’t trust yourself—check it out with someone else first.’ Wayne Dyer
• Trust,  Self-belief

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Let go of the need for approval by questioning the thoughts that cause it

• Seeking approval is one of the main way people lose the awareness of it. Seeking is always stressful. It puts your happiness in other people’s hands. When you question the thoughts that cause your seeking, like “My mother doesn’t love me.” or “I should be thinner,” you begin to find your own approval. It just appears. And when you have that awareness, it’s easy to approve of other people. This is the way to be truly happy.  We are 100% responsible for our own happiness. This is very good news!  Byron Katie
• Self-talk,  Questioning,  Beliefs

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Fill the void in you with self-worth and self-acceptance, not external approval

• The more you surrender to the fear of someone’s disapproval, the more you lose face in your own eyes, and the more desperate you become for someone’s approval.  Within you is a void that should have been filled by self- esteem. When you attempt to fill it with the approval of others instead, the void grows deeper and the hunger for acceptance and approval grows stronger.  The only solution is to summon the courage to honor your own judgment, frightening though that may be in the beginning.  Nathaniel Branden
• The better you feel about yourself, the less you feel the need to show off. Robert Hand
• Self-worth cannot be verified by others. You are worthy because you say it is so. If you depend on others for your value it is other- worth. Wayne Dyer
• Self-worth comes from one thing – thinking that you are worthy.  Wayne Dyer
• Self-esteem comes from the self, not from acquisitions and approval. Wayne Dyer
• The higher our inner self-esteem, the less we need the approval of others.  David R. Hawkins
• Because one believes in oneself, one doesn’t try to convince others.  Because one is content with oneself, one doesn’t need others’ approval.  Because one accepts oneself, the whole world accepts them.  Lao Tzu
• Belonging is the innate human desire to be part of something larger than us. Because this yearning is so primal, we often try to acquire it by fitting in and by seeking approval, which are not only hollow substitutes for belonging, but often barriers to it. Because true belonging only happens when we present our authentic, imperfect selves to the world, our sense of belonging can never be greater than our level of self-acceptance. Brené Brown
• Self-approval and self-acceptance in the now are the main keys to positive changes in every area of our lives. Louise Hay
• Self-worth,  Self-esteem

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Loving yourself lets you worry less what people think of you …

• You either like me or you don’t. It took me twenty-something years to learn how to love myself, I don’t have that kinda time to convince somebody else.   Daniel Franzese
• When you acquire enough inner peace and feel really positive about yourself, it’s almost impossible for you to be controlled and manipulated by anybody else. Wayne Dyer
• Get to know your true self.  When you are truly comfortable in your own skin, not everyone will like you, but you won’t care about it one bit.  Marc and Angel Chernoff
• When you learn to embrace your self with a sense of appreciation and affection, you begin to glimpse the goodness and light that is in you and gradually you will realize that you are worthy of respect from yourself. When you recognize your limits, but still embrace your life with affection and graciousness, the sense of inner dignity begins to grow. You become freer and less dependent on the affirmation of outer voices and less troubled by the negativity of others.   John O’Donohue
• The more I like me, the less I want to pretend to be other people. Jamie Lee Curtis
• Only when we do not fully like or love ourselves are we bothered when someone else does not like us.  Robert Beno
• Worrying what others think

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… and makes you less reliant on external approval

• There is an applause superior to that of the multitudes: one’s own. Elizabeth Elton Smith
• It’s not your job to like me. It’s mine. Byron Katie
• Ultimately, love is self-approval. Sondra Ray
• Because one believes in oneself, one doesn’t try to convince others. Because one is content with oneself, one doesn’t need others’ approval. Because one accepts oneself, the whole world accepts him or her.  Lao Tzu

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Let go of the need for approval by being authentically yourself

• Going with the flow and letting it hang out… warts, bumps, lumps and all…. and not taking your thoughts serious about what others think of you all the time… not trying to appear tough, cool and on top of your game.. when you know you aren’t, is the way to go every single time. Not only is the show exhausting, but it puts a wall up between you and the rest of the world and you and your true self. Chris McCombs
• Work at not needing approval from anyone and you will be free to be who you really are. Nachman of Breslov
• I am who I am. Your approval is not needed.

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Let go of the need for approval by practicing humility

• Practice humility. The less compelled you are to try to prove yourself to others, the easier it is to feel peaceful inside. The less you care about seeking approval, the more approval you seem to get. Richard Carlson
• Truly powerful people have great humility. They do not try to impress, they do not try to be influential. They simply are. People are magnetically drawn to them.   Sanaya Roman
• Humility just means that you’re stepping out of the rat race of self-glorification. You’re not trying to build up your ego, impress people, or compete with others for status. You’re not preoccupied with yourself. What a relief!    Not chasing praise, you become more aware of your natural worth—which becomes easier for others to see as well; the less you focus on being appreciated, the more appreciation you’ll get.  Rick Hanson
• Humility,   Modesty

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Let go of the need for approval by doing what feels right for you

• Eventually you just have to realize that you’re living for an audience of one. I’m not here for anyone else’s approval. Pamela Anderson
• A meaningful life is not a popularity contest. Do what in your heart you believe to be the right thing, and you may or may not get immediate approval from the world. Do it anyway. Marianne Williamson
• Start being honest with yourself when you take on a new task or commitment, whether you are doing it because it is “right” for you or because you want to get approval and avoid disapproval.  Sacha Crouch
• A man doesn’t require the approval of others. He’s willing to follow his heart wherever it leads him. When a man is following his heart-centered path, it’s of little consequence if the entire world is against him. Steve Pavlina
• All I can do is follow my instincts, because I’ll never please everyone. Emma Watson
• Any writer overwhelmingly honest about pleasing himself is almost sure to please others. Marianne Moore
• Conscience, as a mentor, the guide and compass of every act, leads ever to happiness. When the individual can stay alone with his or her conscience and get its approval, without knowing force or specious knowledge, then he or she begins to know what real happiness is. William George Jordan
• Do right, and public approval will follow; either the next hour or the next century. John C. Lettsome
• Do what you feel in your heart will be right, for you’ll be criticized anyway. Eleanor Roosevelt
• Don’t let the noise of other’s opinions drive out your inner voice. Steve Jobs
• Eventually you just have to realize that you’re living for an audience of one. I’m not here for anyone else’s approval. Pamela Anderson
• Everyone wants to belong, or be a part of something bigger than themselves, but it’s important to follow your heart and be true to yourself in the process. Emily Giffin
• Following our inner guidance may feel risky and frightening at first, because we are no longer playing it safe, doing what we ‘should’ do, pleasing others, following rules, or deferring to outside authority. Shakti Gawain
• Right-action,  Right-speech,  Integrity,  Self-respect

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Let go of the need for approval by instead being true to your values, principles and intentions

• In the age-old contest between popularity and principle, only those willing to lose for their convictions are deserving of posterity’s approval. Gerald R. Ford
• Out of fear, out of the desire for approval, out of the misguided notions of duty, people surrender themselves-their convictions and their aspirations-every day. There is nothing noble about it. It takes far more courage to fight for your values than to relinquish them. Nathaniel Branden
• Would you rather live your life according to the approval of others or aligned with your truth and your dreams? Robin Sharma

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Let go of the need for approval by transcending the ego

• The ego’s sense of self-worth is in most cases bound up with the worth you have in the eyes of others. You need others to give you a sense of self, and if you live in a culture that to a large extent equates self-worth with how much and what you have, if you cannot look through this collective delusion, you will be condemned to chasing after things for the rest of your life in the vain hope of finding your worth and completion of your sense of self there.  Eckhart Tolle
• Desire for approval and recognition is a healthy motive, but the desire to be acknowledged as better, stronger, or more intelligent than a fellow being or fellow scholar easily leads to an excessively egoistic psychological adjustment, which may become injurious for the individual and for the community.  Albert Einstein

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Quieten the ego by becoming comfortable with not standing out

• If you are content with being nobody in particular, content not to stand out, you align yourself with the power of the universe. What looks like weakness to the ego is in fact the only true strength. This spiritual truth is diametrically opposed to the values of our contemporary culture and the way it conditions people to behave. Eckhart Tolle
• Another aspect of this practice is to refrain from attempting to strengthen the self by showing off, wanting to stand out, be special, make an impression, or demand attention. It may include occasionally refraining from expressing your opinion when everybody is expressing his or hers, and seeing what that feels like. Eckhart Tolle
• The next time someone tells you a story or shares an accomplishment with you, notice your tendency to say something about yourself in response.  Richard Carlson
• A sense of “I” gets created whether you take credit for a good thing or a bad thing. Forget the “I” and forget the credit or blame… just BE the raw naked experience and see what happens.  Michael Jeffreys
• Ego,  Transcendence,  Awaken to who you are

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Realise the source of what you seek externally is in you already

• Stop looking outside for scraps of pleasure or fulfillment, for validation, security, or love – you have a treasure within that is infinitely greater than anything the world can offer.  Eckhart Tolle
• What the superior man seeks is in himself; what the small man seeks is in others. Confucius
• You’ll have less heartaches and disappointments if you stop seeking from others the things ONLY God and you can give yourself! Yvonne Pierre
• The treasure within

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Don’t fear disapproval for it is the price you pay for living a full life

• It is impossible to go through life without incurring a good deal of disapproval. It is the way of humanity, the dues you pay for your aliveness. Wayne Dyer
• If you are not criticized, you may not be doing much. Donald H. Rumsfeld
• To escape criticism – do nothing, say nothing, be nothing. Elbert Hubbard
• You have enemies? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life. Winston Churchill
• For every action there is an equal and opposite criticism.
• Nobody kicks a dead dog.  Dale Carnegie
• Criticism is something we can avoid easily by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing.  Aristotle
• People will disapprove of you if you’re unhappy, or if you’re happy in The Wrong Way.  Mignon McLaughlin
• Criticism,  Rejection,   Being fully alive

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Accept that it’s impossible to win the approval of everyone

• The sooner we accept the inevitable dilemma of not being able to win the approval of everyone we meet, the easier our lives become. Richard Carlson
• Praise and blame are all the same. You’ll never be able to please all the people all the time. Even in a landslide victory in which a candidate secures 55% of the vote, he or she is left with 45% of the population that wishes someone else were the winner. Everyone has their own set of ideas with which to evaluate life and our ideas don’t always match those of other people. The sooner we accept the inevitable dilemma of not being able to win the approval of everyone we meet, the easier our lives will become. Richard Carlson
• Let’s get one fact straight right now: You will never, never, never, ever, ever, ever, ever get everyone’s approval all the time. Jesus didn’t do it, nor did Gandhi or Princess Diana. Even very good people could not get everyone to like them. No one ever has and you won’t be the first. You won’t be able to get everyone to like any one thing you do, and you won’t get any one person to like everything you do. So give up your quest for universal admiration right now; it is never-ending, infinitely frustrating, and it sucks. If you are ever going to receive the approval you seek, it is going to have to come from you. Alan Cohen
• What one approves, another scorns, And thus his nature each discloses: You find the rosebush full of thorns, I find the thornbush full of roses.  Arthur Guiterman
• You have to accept the fact that some people are never going to be for you. Treat them with respect, but you don’t need their approval to fulfill your destiny. Joel Osteen
• Trying to get other people’s approval is not going to boost up one’s self worth. One thing is that you will never get the approval from everyone. While you may get approval from some, others will be turned away. Most of the time trying too hard to get approval from others backfires. Ed Russo

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Accept its impossible to please everyone

• I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody. Bill Cosby
• I can’t give you a surefire formula for success, but I can give you a formula for failure: try to please everybody all the time. Herbert Bayard Swope
• You can’t please everybody. Don’t even try. And don’t let it bother you. Tom Morris
• There just isn’t any pleasing some people. The trick is to stop trying.  Robert Mitchum
• One fifth of the people are against everything all of the time. Robert F. Kennedy
• Please all, and you will please none. Aesop
• You can’t make everyone happy right away. You can’t figure out what people want you to do. You just have to do what you want to do and hope it works out. Rob Zombie
• You can’t please everyone so you gotta please yourself. Ricky Nelson
• You can’t please everyone, and you can’t make everyone like you. Katie Couric

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Accept its impossible to make everyone happy

• Don’t spend your life trying to keep everyone around you happy. Some people don’t want to be happy. Joel Osteen
• If you think, “If I do this or that, they may not be happy.” Well, maybe it’s time for them to not be happy instead of you not being happy. Joel Osteen
• Life is too short to try to keep everyone happy.  Joel Osteen

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What people think of you is really none of your business

• What other people think of me is none of my business.  Wayne Dyer
• Don’t regard what anyone says of you, for this, after all, is no concern of yours.  Epictetus
• What other people think of you is not your business.  If you start to make that business your business, you wil be offended for the rest of your life.  Deepak Chopra
• The opinion which other people have of you is their problem, not yours. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

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Focus more on recognising merit in others than in getting their approval

• The Master said, (the good man) does not grieve that other people do not recognize his merits. His only anxiety is lest he should fail to recognize theirs. Confucius
• Getting people to like you is merely the other side of liking them. Norman Vincent Peale
• Remember, it’s not your job to get people to like you, it’s your job to like people.  H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

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Focus on doing your best rather than getting approval

• Do not look for approval except for the consciousness of doing your best.  Andrew Carnegie
• Do your best

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Focus more on your character than your reputation

• I care not what others think of what I do, but I care very much about what I think of what I do! That is character! Theodore Roosevelt
• The important thing isn’t what other people think you are; it’s who you are. Shannon L. Alder
• Be more concerned with your character than with your reputation. Your character is what you really are while your reputation is merely what others think you are. Dale Carnegie
• Character is like a tree and reputation its shadow. The shadow is what we think it is and the tree is the real thing. Abraham Lincoln
• Your reputation is in the hands of others. That’s what the reputation is. You can’t control that. The only thing you can control is your character. Wayne Dyer
• If I take care of my character, my reputation will take care of itself. Dwight Lyman Moody
• Reputation is what men and women think of us; character is what God and angels know of us.  Thomas Paine
• Character,  Reputation

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Character is what you know you are, not what others think you have.

• Outside show is a poor substitute for inner worth. Aesop
• Until you’ve lost your reputation, you never realize what a burden it was.  Margaret Mitchell

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Focus more on actual accomplishment than approval

• A positive self image and healthy self esteem is based on approval, acceptance and recognition from others; but also upon actual accomplishments, achievements and success upon the realistic self confidence which ensues. Abraham Maslow
• The fundamental way of getting public approval is to deserve it. Arthur W. Page

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Achieving great and original work requires letting go worrying what others think

• If you are going to do something truly innovative, you have to be someone who does not value social approval. You can’t need social approval to go forward. Otherwise, how would you ever do the thing that you are doing? Malcolm Gladwell
• If you just set out to be liked, you will be prepared to compromise on anything at anytime, and would achieve nothing. Margaret Thatcher
• Never ask for approval in your work. Life is your own, inspiration is your own, you create alone, and the results are your own – and that’s good enough. David Luiz
• Once you get rid of the idea that you must please other people before you please yourself, and you begin to follow your own instincts — only then can you be successful. You become more satisfied, and when you are, other people tend to be satisfied by what you do. Raquel Welch
• Seeking approval of others is typically a good indication that we’ve been shortchanging our potential for greatness.
• The need for approval from others destroys our freedom to succeed on our own terms. When the desire to get people to like us motivates our personal and professional choices, we only go backward. Faisal Hoque
• To achieve originality we need to abandon the comforts of habit, reason, and the approval of our peers, and strike out in new directions. Marty Neumeier
• To be independent of public opinion is the first formal condition of achieving anything great or rational. Georg Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel
• To secure approval one must remain within the bounds of conventional mediocrity. Whatever lies beyond, whether it be greater insight and virtue, or greater stolidity and vice, is condemned. The noblest men, like the worst criminals, have been done to death. John Lancaster Spalding
• When anyone starts out to do something creative – especially if it seems a little unusual – they seek approval, often from those least inclined to give it. But a creative life cannot be sustained by approval, any more than it can be destroyed by criticism – you learn this as you go on. Will Self
• Work for a cause, not for applause.  Live life to express, not to impress.
• A creative life cannot be sustained by approval any more than it can be destroyed by criticism. Will Self
• I much prefer the sharpest criticism of a single intelligent man to the thoughtless approval of the masses. Johannes Kepler

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• As a solid rock cannot be moved by the wind, the wise are not shaken by praise or blame. Buddha
• Be independent of the good opinion of other people. Abraham Maslow
• Court not the critic’s smile nor dread his frown.  Sir Walter Scott
• Self-actualised people are independent of the good opinion of others.  Wayne Dyer
• I have already settled it for myself so flattery and criticism go down the same drain and I am quite free. Georgia O’Keeffe
• I pay no attention whatever to anybody’s praise or blame. I simply follow my own feelings. Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart
• Just as solid rocks are not shaken by the wind, so wise men are not mound by either blame or praise. Dhammapada
• They have great tranquility of heart who care neither for the praises nor the fault-finding of people. Honoré de Balzac
• Treat praise like criticism: refuse to accept either. Chris Brogan
• Be wary of the praise of men; don’t let it pump you up unnecessarily and don’t let it paralyze your progress. Bernard Kelvin Clive
• You can’t let praise or criticism get to you. It’s a weakness to get caught up in either one. John Wooden
• You’re never as good as everyone tells you when you win, and you’re never as bad as they say when you lose.  Lou Holtz and John Heisler
• Do not do what is good in order to gain praise. Chuang Tzu
• Do not trust to the cheering, for those very persons would shout as much if you and I were going to be hanged. Oliver Cromwell
• Praise shames me, for I secretly beg for it. Rabindranath Tagore
• Hang your merit. I don’t seek anyone’s approbation. Fyodor Dostoevsky
• They have become strong enough to be independent of the good opinion of other people, or even of their affection. The honors, the status, the rewards, the popularity, the prestige, and the love they can bestow must have become less important than self- development and inner growth. Abraham Maslow
• Don’t allow the approval and attention of others to destroy you. Wayne Dyer
• Approval is overrated…Approval and disapproval alike satisfy those who deliver it more than those who receive it. I don’t care for approval, and I don’t mind doing without. Gregory Maguire
• Children can’t help crying when their sand castles come crumbling down. My mind is so like them when praise and reputation start to fail. Shantideva
• Don’t depend on other people as the source of your happiness or for approval. Joyce Meyer
• Don’t look to the approval of others for your mental stability Karl Lagerfeld

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• All you need to find and accomplish God’s purpose in your life is God’s permission and approval–not anyone else’s. When you get in step with Him, there will be a glow on your face that will make people wonder what you’re up to. Zig Ziglar
• Do what you do only for God’s sake, start for God’s sake, work for God’s sake, and act within the sphere of God’s good approval. Said Nursi
• Why live for the approval of men when you can have the approval of their Creator? What can they give you that God can’t? LeCrae
• It’s better to have God approve than the world applaud.
• God’s approval is a whole lot easier to get than man’s. Beth Moore
• Having God’s unconditional love does not mean you have God’s unconditional approval. Miles McPherson
• I would rather have the whole world against me but know that the Almighty God is with me, be called an apostate but know that I have the approval of the God of glory Mehdi Dibaj
• No amount of temporal success can compensate for the loss of God’s approval. Max Anders
• Our desire for approval can only truly be met by receiving God’s acceptance and approval of us. Joyce Meyer
• Quit dwelling on the negative things people have said about you. You don’t have to have everyone’s approval. You have God’s approval. Joel Osteen
• The increased desire to please God and seek HIS approval will decrease the desire to seek approval from man. Yvonne Pierre
• There was a day when I died; died to self, my opinions, preferences, tastes and will; died to the world, its approval or censure; died to the approval or blame even of my brethren or friends; and since then I have studied only to show myself approved unto God. George Muller
• We are not to be so concerned about who approves or disapproves of us, but remember that God’s approval is what counts. Those whom God approves are approved indeed. Myles Munroe
• What higher approval could a person enjoy than to know that what he or she has done is pleasing to God? R. C. Sproul
• Reputation is what men and women think of us; character is what God and angels know of us. Thomas Paine
• When we are set free from the bondage of pleasing others, when we are free from currying others’ approval-then no one will be able to make us miserable or dissatisfied. And then, if we know we have pleased God, contentment will be our consolation. Kay Arthur
• You’ll have less heartaches and disappointments if you stop seeking from others the things ONLY God and you can give yourself! Yvonne Pierre
• Do you really mean the only reason you try to be good is to gain God’s approval and reward? That’s not morality, that’s just sucking up. Richard Dawkins

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Evangelism is a form of approval seeking

• A need for approval lies behind all efforts of evangelism. If someone else can be convinced, that will show us that we are on the right path. The attempt to convince someone of anything is a mark of insecurity. Ravi Ravindra

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Perfectionism is a form of approval seeking

• Many people think of perfectionism as striving to be your best, but it is not about self- improvement; it’s about earning approval and acceptance. Brené Brown
• Perfectionism is the ultimate fear that people will see you as you really are and you won’t measure up. Oprah Winfrey
• Perfectionism

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Falling in love is an intense hope for approval

• When we fall in love, we hope – both egotistically and altruistically – that we shall be finally, truly seen: judged and approved. Of course, love does not always bring approval: being seen may just as well lead to a thumbs-down and a season in hell. Julian Barnes
• Romantic love

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Many of our online habits are about approval seeking

• We’re high on the adrenaline of feeling, even though we know it’s fleeting and evanescence. And we’re getting worse — checking texts and emails and Facebook every five minutes, always searching for that next hit of feeling, that next morsel of approval. Deborah Meyler
• We exaggerate the approval and disapproval of others in our minds
• Most people think everybody feels about them much more violently than they actually do; they think other people’s opinions of them swing through great arcs of approval or disapproval. F. Scott Fitzgerald

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Asking for and giving advice is often just a form of approval seeking

• Nothing is less sincere than our mode of asking and giving advice. He who asks seems to have a deference for the opinion of his friend, while he only aims to get approval of his own and make his friend responsible for his action. And he who gives advice repays the confidence supposed to be placed in him by a seemingly disinterested zeal, while he seldom means anything by his advice but his own interest or reputation. Duc de La Rochefoucauld
• Advice: n. to seek another’s approval of a course already decided upon. Ambrose Bierce
• Advice

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Communicated your love and approval for others, especially children…

• I loved the fact that it wasn’t my responsibility to change somebody, that it was God’s, that my part was just to communicate love and approval. Donald Miller
• I have yet to find the man, however exalted his station, who did not do better work and put forth greater effort under a spirit of approval than under a spirit of criticism. Charles Schwab
• If a child lives with approval, he learns to live with himself. Dorothy Law Nolte
• If all we ever offer is blanket praise without any meaning behind it, kids will always seek approval because they’ll never feel satisfied. If we offer genuine encouragement for their accomplishments, they won’t need our approval; they’ll approve of themselves. Kelly Bartlett
• Once we realise that the wish for love and approval is a universal motivator, we can begin to dance with the flow of love by helping others to meet that need through their connections with us. And as we help others to meet those needs by being with us, the positive flow of giving Love comes back to us. Perry Wood

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…but do it sincerely and without ulterior motives

• Constant, indiscriminate approval devalues because it is so predictable. Kit Reed
• Most of us believe in trying to make other people happy only if they can be happy in ways which we approve. Robert S. Lynd
• When you’re appeasing too much, you might be egotistically over-estimating everyone’s need for your approval. Criss Jami

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• Today I will let go of my need for approval and my need to be liked. Instead, I will choose to like and approve of myself. The people who count (including me) will respect me when I’m true to who I really am. Melody Beattie

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• You can be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world, but there will always be someone who hates peaches. Dita von Teese
• Beware of fishing for compliments – you might come up with a boot.  Carol Weston
• Consult: To seek approval for a course of action already decided upon.  Ambrose Bierce
• I refused to attend his funeral. But I wrote a very nice letter explaining that I approved of it. Mark Twain
• Black Eye: A stamp of disapproval.
• Next to the disapproval of our friends, the approval of our enemies is most to be dreaded. Octave Feuillet
• Cleavage: Something which excites disapproval in everyone but the audience.
• Consult: To seek another’s approval of a course already decided on.   Ambrose Bierce
• Pornography: That which excites, whether from approval or disapproval.  Leonard Rossiter
• I can live for two months on a good compliment.  Mark Twain
• If you are flattering a woman, it pays to be a little more subtle; you don’t have to bother with men they believe any compliment automatically.   Alan Ayckbourn
• There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments. Chris Rock
• When you cannot get a compliment any other way, pay yourself one.   Mark Twain
• When a man says he approves of something in principle, it means he hasn’t the slightest intention of putting it into practice. Otto Von Bismarck

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