Approval seeking (wisdom stories)
The useless tree
A carpenter and his apprentice were walking together through a large forest. And when they came across a tall, huge, gnarled, old, beautiful oak tree, the carpenter asked his apprentice: “Do you know why this tree is so tall, so huge, so gnarled, so old and beautiful?” The apprentice looked at his master and said: “No…why?”
“Well,” the carpenter said, “because it is useless. If it had been useful it would have been cut long ago and made into something else. But a boat made from it would sink, a coffin would soon rot, a tool would split, a door would ooze sap, and a beam would have termites. It’s worthless timber and is of no use. That is why it has reached such a ripe old age.
And it’s exactly because it is useless that it could grow so tall, majestic and so beautiful and that you can sit in its shade and relax on a hot day. No one seems to know how useful it is to be useless like this beautiful tree.”
He went on to say “What is it to be useless? It is to be free of striving to become something, to be someone special or to prove yourself. To be useless is simply to relax as you are, to rest at ease, to abide in your true nature in an easy way.
When there is nothing to do, nothing to be, and nothing to attain; When we truly let go of any need to be a certain way, leaving everything alone, then we are truly free, like the tree.”
Father, son and horse
Long ago, in an Indian village, a man wanted to take his horse to market. His son asked if he could go along. The affectionate father set off for the market with his son riding on the horse as he led the horse by the reins.
As they travelled along the road, some people looked at them and laughed, “What a foolish man. His son is so young and healthy, and he is getting on in years. And yet, he is letting his son ride on the horse.”
Being a little sensitive to what people said, the man considered for moment. Then he took his son off the horse. He mounted the horse himself and proceeded once again to the market with his son walking alongside him.
What a cruel man,” a passer-by remarked. “Look at him – a healthy, mature man making his frail son walk while he rides the horse”
The man became perplexed. Then he had a brainwave. Reaching down, he beckoned to his son and lifted him up onto the horse. Thus they continued happily to the market, the two of them riding atop the horse.
“What an unkind man!” a lady exclaimed. “Look at that poor horse with two people riding on it. How callous they are.”
This time the man was almost baffled. Then, in a fit of inspiration, both he and his son both dismounted the horse, and all three walked together.
Then he overheard an onlooker say, “What kind of a crazy man is that? Those two people are walking, yet their horse is obviously healthy and sturdy. Why are they not using it? This is a waste of energy.”
Scratching his head in confusion, the man decided on a final, desperate solution. He sent his son into the forest to fetch some large sticks. Then they tied the horse to the poles, and between them both carried the horse.
All went well until they arrived at the narrow rope bridge crossing the river. It looked rather unsafe, yet they decided they would carefully cross it.
However, as they approached the centre of the bridge, a group of men on the opposite bank stood laughing and pointing fingers at them. “What’s this?” one of them questioned. “There’s a healthy horse. But these two people are carrying it to market.”
The man and his son stopped, glaring at the men in anger. As they did so, the horse struggled from his fetters, falling over the edge of the bridge into the raging waters below.
The donkey
A man and his son were once going with their donkey to market. As they were walking along by his side a countryman passed them and said, “You fools, what is a donkey for but to ride upon?” So the man put the boy on the donkey, and they went on their way.
But soon they passed a group of men, one of whom said, “See that lazy youngster, he lets his father walk while he rides.”
So the man ordered his boy to get off and got on himself. But they hadn’t gone far when they passed two women, one of whom said to the other, “Shame on that lazy lout to let his poor little son trudge along.”
Well, the man didn’t know what to do, but at last, he took his boy up before him on the donkey. By this time they had come to the town, and the passers-by began to jeer and point at them. The man stopped and asked what they were scoffing at.
The men said, “Aren’t you ashamed of yourself for overloading that poor donkey of yours – you and your hulking son?”
The man and boy got off and tried to think what to do. They thought and they thought, until at last they cut down a pole, tied the donkey’s feet to it, and raised the pole and the donkey to their shoulders. They went along amid the laughter of all who met them until they came to a bridge, when the donkey, getting one of his feet loose, kicked out and caused the boy to drop his end of the pole. In the struggle, the donkey fell over the bridge, and his fore-feet being tied together, he was drowned.
Source: Joseph Jacobs
Finally he got it!
A young man went to a Zen master. After practicing for a time the student went off on his own with instructions to faithfully send a letter to the master every month, giving an account of his spiritual progress.
In the first month, the student wrote, “I now feel an expansion of consciousness and experience of oneness with the universe.”
The master glanced at the note and threw it away.
Next month this is what the letter said: “I finally discovered the holiness that is present in all things.”
The master seemed vaguely disappointed.
A month later, the disciple enthusiastically explained, “The mystery of the one and the many has been revealed to my wondering gaze.”
The master yawned.
Two months later another letter arrived: “No one is born, no one lives, no one dies, for the self is an illusion.”
The master threw up his hands in despair, because each letter was asking for a response, “Is this it? Is this it? Is this it?”
After that, a month passed, then two, three, five, and then a whole year. The master thought it was time to remind the disciple of his duty to keep him informed of his spiritual progress. So he sent the student a letter. The disciple wrote back, “Who cares what you think?”
When the master read those words, a great look of satisfaction spread over his face. “Finally, he got it!”
Source: Jack Kornfield