Dale Carnegie (quotes) - Wisdom Trove

Quotes by Dale Carnegie

We are gods in the chrysalis.
Let the other person save face.
Stop worrying and start living.
Our thoughts make us what we are.
Applause is a receipt, not a bill.
Happiness is wanting what you get.
People support a world they helped create.
When fate hands you lemons, make lemonade.
Our trouble is not ignorance, but inaction.
Remember that no one ever kicks a dead dog.
Your smile is a messenger of your goodwill.
A barber lathers a man before he shaves him.
Always make the other person feel important.
Become genuinely interested in other people.
Believe you will be successful and you will.
Each party should gain from the negotiation.
Today is the only time we can possibly live.
We move toward what we picture in our minds.
Fear not those who argue but those who dodge.
Great speakers are not born, they’re trained.
Act enthusiastic and you will be enthusiastic.
Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
Cash can buy, but it takes enthusiasm to sell.
It isn’t by the size that you win or you fail-
Learn to love, respect and enjoy other people.
Nobody is more persuasive than a good listener
Talk in terms of the other person’s interests.
The best little scrub by the side of the rill;
The sure-thing boat never gets far from shore.
Fear doesn’t exist anywhere except in the mind.
Inspirational, Being Yourself, Finding Yourself
We can’t all be captains, we’ve got to be crew.
If you act enthusiastic, you’ll be enthusiastic!
Only knowledge that is used sticks in your mind.
Good leaders are scarce; so I’m following myself.
If you want to be enthusiastic, act enthusiastic.
People like people who help them like themselves.
There is no such thing as constructive criticism.
Your smile brightens the lives of all who see it.
A man without a smiling face must not open a shop.
Life truly is a boomerang. What you give, you get.
us, you must “not look too good nor talk too wise.
Action springs out of what we fundamentally desire
An hour of planning can save you 10 hours of doing.
In order to make friends you must first be friendly
Only the prepared speaker deserves to be confident.
Those who do not know how to fight worry die young.
Today is the tommorrow you worried about yesterday.
Do you know the most important trait a man can have?
If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
The successful man will profit from his mistakes and
If you must make a mistake, make a new one each time.
Appreciation is the legal tender that all souls enjoy.
Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.
if you want to keep happiness , you have to share it !
Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.
If You Want to Gather Honey, Don’t Kick Over the Beehive
Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires.
If you want to gather honey, don’t kick over the beehive.
Remember my name and you add to my feeling of importance.
The ability to speak well is the shortcut to distinction.
You are merely not feeling equal to the tasks before you.
Self-expression is the dominant necessity of human nature.
Why not use the same common sense when fishing for people?
Make the other person feel important – and do it sincerely.
The man who starts out going nowhere, generally gets there.
The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
We are interested in others when they are interested in us.
Criticisms are like homing pigeons. They always return home.
Destiny is not a matter of chance. It is a matter of choice.
Life is bigger than processes and overflows and dwarfs them.
Pay less attention to what men say. Just watch what they do.
People who talk only of themselves think only of themselves.
Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.
The best argument is that which seems merely an explanation.
The difference between a grave and a rut are the dimensions.
Our mental attitude is the x factor that determines our fate.
You never achieve success unless you like what you are doing.
90% of all management problems are caused by miscommunication.
All art is autobiographical. You can only create what you are.
Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
It isn’t work that makes you tired, it’s your mental attitude.
Talk to someone about themselves and they’ll listen for hours.
The essence of all art is to have pleasure in giving pleasure.
The movies do it. TV does it. Why don’t you do it?
Apply horse-sense to ridding yourself of self-consciousness and
Be wiser than other people if you can; but do not tell them so.
Let’s not imitate others.Let’s find ourselves and be ourselves.
Remember that unjust critisism is often a disquised compliment.
Try honest to see things from the other person’s point of view.
Names are the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.
Those convinced against their will are of the same opinion still.
People rarely succeed unless they have fun in what they are doing.
The best things in life are yours, if you can appreciate yourself.
We can’t win friends with a scowling face and an upbraiding voice.
We talk a lot about the importance of physical exercise to wake us
Abilities wither under criticism; they blossom under encouragement.
Do the hard jobs first. The easy jobs will take care of themselves.
Don’t be afraid to give your best to what seemingly are small jobs.
farmer’s wife will be nervously trying to quiet her scared horse as
I tend to think shorts are too casual That’s just not businesslike.
Most of us have far more courage than we ever dreamed we possessed.
Success is getting what you want. Happiness is wanting what you get.
Today is life-the only life you are sure of. Make the most of today.
You’ll never achieve real success unless you like what you’re doing.
Every man I meet is my superior in some way. In that, I learn of him.
Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage.
It is the way we react to circumstances that determines our feelings.
Let the winds of enthusiasm sweep through you. Live today with gusto.
You can’t get anywhere in this world without wanting to do something.
Act as if you were already happy and that will tend to make you happy.
Don’t ask a man what is important to him. Watch how he spends his time
People do things for “their” reasons, not ours. So find their reasons.
Today is our most precious possession. It is our only sure possession.
The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated.
Remember that other people may be totally wrong. But they don’t think so.
The only way I can get you to do anything is by giving you what you want.
By criticizing, we do not make lasting changes and often incur resentment.
Improving yourself is a lot more profitable than trying to improve others.
Flattery is from the teeth out. Sincere appreciation is from the heart out.
Let’s never try to get even with our enemies, because if we do we will hurt
So if you aspire to be a good conversationali st, be an attentive listener.
Flattery is telling the other person precisely what he thinks about himself.
Encouragement makes a fault easy to correct, and a challenge easy to take on.
If we want to make friends, let’s greet people with animation and enthusiasm.
By becoming interested in the cause, we are less likely to dislike the effect.
Say ‘Hello’ in tones that bespeak how pleased you are to have the person call.
Talk to anyone about himself positively and he’ll listen without interruption.
You cannot teach a man anything, you can only help him find it within himself.
A great man shows his greatness, said Carlyle, by the way he treats little men.
Each nation feels superior to other nations. That breeds patriotism – and wars.
Happiness is largely an attitude of mind, of viewing life from the right angle.
Once I did bad and that I heard ever. Twice I did good, but that I heard never.
If you believe in what you are doing, then let nothing hold you up in your work.
The great aim of education,’ said Herbert Spencer, ‘is not knowledge but action.
By fighting you never get enough, but by yielding you get more than you expected.
Even god doesn’t propose to judge a man till his last days, why should you and I?
Much of the best work of the world has been done against seeming impossibilities.
Why will doing a good deed every day produce such astounding efforts on the doer?
If you do the little jobs well, the big ones will tend to take care of themselves.
If you tell me how you get your feeling of importance, I’ll tell you what you are.
If your own mind is muddled, much more will the minds of your hearers be confused.
Our fatigue is often caused not by work, but by worry, frustration and resentment.
That’s why encouragement is a much more effective teaching device than punishment.
The successful man will profit from his mistakes and try again in a different way.
Emerson said: Every man I meet is my superior in some way. In that, I learn of him.
Don’t be afraid of enemies who attack you. Be afraid of the friends who flatter you.
If you want to conquer fear, don’t sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy.
Tell the audience what you’re going to say, say it; then tell them what you’ve said.
the only way to influence people is to talk in terms of what the other person wants.
The royal road to a man’s heart is to talk to him about the things he treasures most.
Is it any wonder, then, that we find it so hard to get at the answers to our problems?
For better or worse, you must play your own little instrument in the orchestra of life.
If we speak poorly about that which we do well… people will assume we perform poorly!
If you want to conquer fear, don’t sit at home and think about it. Go out and get busy.
Remember what Lincoln said: ‘A drop of honey catches more flies than a gallon of gall.’
people in this world who make life a hell for themselves and others by insisting that two
That is the way Emerson said it. But here is the way a poet -the late Douglas Mallochsaid
Your thoughts make you what you are; by changing our #‎ thoughts we can change our lives.
Do things for others and you’ll find your self-consciousness evaporating like morning dew.
A talk is a voyage. It must be charted. The speaker who starts nowhere, usually gets there.
Happiness does not depend on any external conditions, it is governed by our mental attitude
So, to prevent fatigue and worry, the first rule is: Rest often. Rest before you get tired.
Success in dealing with people depends on sympathetic grasp of the other person’s viewpoint.
You must have a good time meeting people if you expect them to have a good time meeting you.
I wasn’t interested in making a lot of money, but I was interested in making a lot of living.
If you want enemies, excel your friends; but if you want friends, let your friends excel you.
Face the thing that seems overwhelming and you will be surprised how your fear will melt away.
Mix judgement with ambition and season it with energy. It makes a splendid recipe for success.
The person who seeks all their applause from outside has their happiness in another’s keeping.
Your purpose is to make your audience see what you saw, hear what you heard, feel what you felt.
If you want to be a good conversationalist, be a good listener. To be interesting, be interested.
Let’s fight for our happiness by following a daily program of cheerful and constructive thinking.
As the Readers’s Digest once said: ‘Many persons call a doctor when all they want is an audience.’
Let us praise even the slightest improvement. That inspires the other person to keep on improving.
Look your audience straight in the eyes, and begin to talk as if every one of them owed you money.
The life of many a person could probably be changed if only someone would make him feel important.
there is only one way under high heaven to get the best of an argument – and that is to avoid it .
Control your temper. Remember, you can measure the size of a person by what makes him or her angry.
If we think happy thoughts, we will be happy. If we think miserable thoughts, we will be miserable.
It never hurts a fool to appear before an audience, for his capacity is not a capacity for feeling.
Learning is an active process. We learn by doing.. Only knowledge that is used sticks in your mind.
Our main business is not to see what lies dimly at a distance, but to do what lies clearly at hand.
A good deed, “said the prophet Mohammed, “is one that brings a smile of joy to the face of another.”
Excitement radiates through your eyes, your face, your voice, your soul, and your whole personality.
The world is filled with interesting things to do. Don’t lead a dull life in such a thrilling world.
As Lord Chesterfield said to his son: Be wiser than other people if you can; but do not tell them so.
Tell me what gives a man or woman their greatest pleasure and I’ll tell you their philosophy of life.
Don’t fuss about trifles. Don’t permit little things-the mere termites of life-to ruin your happiness.
If you do something for someone else, never remember. If someone does something for you, never forget.
Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
Speakers who talk about what life has taught them never fail to keep the attention of their listeners.
The expression a woman wears on her face is far more important than the clothes she wears on her back.
What is the answer to this fatigue? Relax! Relax! Relax! Learn to relax while you are doing your work!
Actions speak louder than words, and a smile says, ‘I like you. You make me happy. I am glad to see you.
An old man was asked what had robbed him of joy in his life. His reply was, “Things that never happened.”
Remember happiness doesn’t depend upon who you are or what you have; it depends solely on what you think.
You can’t win an argument. You can’t because if you lose it, you lose it; and if you win it, you lose it.
People who smile, he said, tend to manage, teach and sell more effectively, and to raise happier children.
Develop success from failures. Discouragement and failure are two of the surest stepping stones to success.
The only way on Earth to influence other people is to talk about what they want and show them how to get it.
Abe Lincoln once remarked that most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be. He was right.
There is only one way… to get anybody to do anything. And that is by making the other person want to do it.
My popularity, my happiness and sense of worth depend to no small extent upon my skill in dealing with people.
Be grateful for what you have to be thankful for instead of complaining about the little things that annoy you.
In my opinion, it is the ability to make friends, which, boiled down, means the ability to see the best in man.
The secret of his success? I will speak ill of no man, he said, . . and speak all the good I know of everybody.
All men have fears, but the brave put down their fears and go forward, sometimes to death, but always to victory
Every day I pray. I yield myself to God and the tensions and anxieties go out of me and peace and power come in.
Flaming enthusiasm, backed by horse sense and persistence, is the quality that most frequently makes for success.
Nobody is so miserable as he who longs to be somebody and something other than the person he is in body and mind.
One reason why birds and horses are not unhappy is because they are not trying to impress other birds and horses.
Perhaps you will forget tomorrow the kind words you say today, but the recipient may cherish them over a lifetime.
Take a chance! All life is a chance. The man who goes farthest is generally the one who is willing to do and dare.
By all means take thought for the tomorrow, yes, careful thought and planning and preparation. But have no anxiety.
I’ve found that worry and irritation vanish into thin air the moment I open my mind to the many blessings I possess.
Let’s fill our minds with thoughts of peace, courage, health, and hope, for “our life is what our thoughts make it.”
Instead of worrying about what people say of you, why not spend time trying to accomplish something they will admire.
Criticism of others is futile and if you indulge in it often you should be warned that it can be fatal to your career.
If we want to find happiness, let’s stop thinking about gratitude or ingratitude and give for the inner joy of giving.
Criticism is dangerous, because it wounds a person’s precious pride, hurt his sense of importace and arouse resentment.
First ask yourself: What is the worst that can happen? Then prepare to accept it. Then proceed to improve on the worst.
Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise.
When we have accepted the worst, we have nothing more to lose. And that automatically means we have everything to gain.
Merely stating a truth isn’t enough. The truth has to be made vivid, interesting, dramatic. You have to use showmanship.
Seventy per cent of all patients who come to physicians could cure themselves if they got rid of their fears and worries.
Forget yourself by becoming interested in others. Do every day a good deed that will put a smile of joy on someone’s face.
Get the facts. Let’s not even attempt to solve our problems without first collecting all the facts in an impartial manner.
If half a century of living has taught me anything at all, it has taught me that nothing can bring you peace but yourself.
When you’re afraid keep your mind on what you have to do. And if you have been thoroughly prepared you will not be afraid.
Put a ‘stop-loss’ order on your worries. Decide just how much anxiety a thing may be worth- and refuse to give it any more.
All the king’s horses and all the king’s men can’t put the past together again. So let’s remember: Don’t try to saw sawdust.
By talking to yourself about the things you have to be grateful for you can fill your mind with thoughts that soar and sing.
Do the thing you fear to do and keep on doing it… that is the quickest and surest way ever yet discovered to conquer fear.
Flattery is counterfeit, and like counterfeit money, it will eventually get you into trouble if you pass it to someone else.
I deal with the obvious. I present, reiterate, and glorify the obvious – because the obvious is what people need to be told.
If only the people who worry about their liabilities would think about the riches they do possess, they would stop worrying.
The man who goes farthest is generally the one who is willing to do and dare. The sure-thing boat never gets far from shore.
Patience and perserverance will accomplish more in this world than a brilliant dash. Remember that when something goes wrong.
When we have a brilliant idea, instead of making others think it is ours, why not let them cook and stir the idea themselves.
If you have some idea you believe in, don’t listen to the croaking chorus. Listen only to what your own inner voice tells you.
Let’s not allow ourselves to be upset by small things we should despise and forget. Remember “Life is too short to be little”.
The person who goes farthest is generally the one who is willing to do and dare. The sure-thing boat never gets far from shore.
Create accomplishment from disappointments. Demoralization and disappointment are two of the surest going stones to achievement.
Don’t you have much more faith in ideas that you discover for yourself than in ideas that are handed to you on a silver platter?
If you can be kind and considerate for one day, then you can be for another. It won’t cost you a penny in the world. Begin today.
One can win the attention and time and cooperation of even the most sought-after people by becoming genuinely interested in them.
Three-fourths of the people you will ever meet are hungering and thirsting for sympathy. Give it to them, and they will love you.
We are all dreaming of some magical rose garden over the horizon instead of enjoying the roses blooming outside our windows today
Feeling sorry for yourself, and your present condition, is not only a waste of energy but the worst habit you could possibly have.
First, arouse in the other person an eager want. He who can do this has the whole world with him. He who cannot walks a lonely way.
If you got it, ask yourself why and try to repeat the action. If you failed, ask yourself why and try to learn from the experience.
If you increase your success by even a mere 10 percent, you have become 10 percent more effective as a leader than you were before.
There is only one excuse for a speaker’s asking the attention of his audience: he must have either truth or entertainment for them.
People are not interested in you. They are not interested in me. They are interested in themselves – morning, noon and after dinner.
to be genuinely interested in other people is a most important quality for a sales-person to possess—for any person, for that matter.
The way to defeat fear: decide on a course of conduct and follow it. Keep so busy and work so hard that you forget about being afraid.
Try to fix firmly in your mind what you would like to do; and then, without veering off direction, you will move straight to the goal.
When you face a problem, solve it then and there if you have the facts necessary to make a decision. Don’t keep putting off decisions.
For every ailment under the sun, There is a remedy, or there is none; If there be one, try to find it; If there be none, never mind it.
Always have something to say. The man who has something to say and who is known never to speak unless he has, is sure to be listened to.
When we are not engaged in thinking about some definite problem, we usually spend about 95 percent of our time thinking about ourselves.
You can make more friends in two months by being interested in other people than in two years of trying to get people interested in you.
Make a man laugh a good hearty laugh, and you’ve paved the way for friendship. When a man laughs with you, he, to some extent, likes you.
Naturalness is the easiest thing in the world to acquire, if you will forget yourself-forget about the impression you are trying to make.
There are always three speeches, for every one you actually gave. The one you practiced, the one you gave, and the one you wish you gave.
If you can’t sleep, then get up and do something instead of lying there and worrying. It’s the worry that gets you, not the loss of sleep.
Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all.
You can conquer almost any fear if you will only make up your mind to do so. For remember, fear doesn’t exist anywhere except in the mind.
Any fool can criticize, complain, and condemn—and most fools do. But it takes character and self-control to be understanding and forgiving.
It isn’t what you have or who you are or where you are or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy. It is what you think about it.
That is what every successful person loves: the game. The chance for self-expression. The chance to prove his or her worth, to excel, to win.
Is enthusiasm important in selling? Yes, genuine, heartfelt enthusiasm is one of the most potent factors of success in almost any undertaking.
Almost all the progress ever made in human thought has been made by the Doubting Thomas’s, the questioners, the challengers, the show-me crowd.
Enthusiasm is that ingredient of vitality mixed with a firm belief in what you are doing that ensures the success of any project you undertake.
History has repeatedly been changed by people who had the desire and the ability to transfer their convictions and emotions to their listeners.
If you are not in the process of becoming the person you want to be, you are automatically engaged in becoming the person you don’t want to be.
Tomorrow you may want to persuade somebody to do something. Before you speak, pause and as yourself, “How can I make this person want to do it?
A blow that would kill a civilized man soon heals on a savage. The higher we go in the scale of life, the greater is the capacity for suffering.
Give your problem all the thought you possibly can before a solution is reached. But when the matter is settled and over with, worry not at all.
When we hate our enemies, we are giving them power over us: power over our sleep, our appetites, our blood pressure, our health, and our happiness.
Ask yourself, What is the worst that can possibly happen? 2. Prepare to accept it if you have to. 3. Then calmly proceed to improve on the worst.
In fact, merely writing the facts on a piece of paper and stating our problem clearly goes a long way toward helping us to reach a sensible decision.
You can close more business in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get people interested in you.
But what do average people do? The exact opposite. If they don’t like a thing, they bawl out their subordinates; if they do like it, they say nothing.
Unjust criticism is usually disguised compliment. It often means that you have aroused jealously and envy. Remember that no one ever kicks a dead log.
I can look back at my own life and see where a few words of praise have sharply changed my entire future. Can’t you say the same thing about your life?
If we want to make friends, let’s put ourselves out to do things for other people – things that require time, energy, unselfishness and thoughtfulness.
An effective speaker knows that the success or failure of his talk is not for him to decide – it will be decided in the minds and hearts of his hearers.
If you have worries, there is no better way to eliminate them than by walking them off. Just take them out for a walk. They may take wings and fly away!
Keep your mind open to change all the time. Welcome it. Court it. It is only by examining and reexamining your opinions and ideas that you can progress.
Take stock of your fears now and see how many of them are senseless. If you are honest with yourself you will probably find most of them are groundless.
Be honest, Look for areas where you can admit error and say so. Apologize for your mistakes. It will help disarm your opponents and reduce defensiveness.
PRINCIPLE 1 Don’t criticize, condemn or complain. PRINCIPLE 2 Give honest and sincere appreciation. PRINCIPLE 3 Arouse in the other person an eager want.
This is a hurried age we’re living in. If you’ve got anything to say, say it quickly, get to the point and stop, and give the other man a chance to talk.
You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.
The resentment that criticism engenders can demoralize employees, family members and friends, and still not correct the situation that has been condemned.
In time, we lose our freshness and spontaneity of true conversation. These are areas in which everyone interested in self-improvement will seek to improve.
Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy.
To be interesting, be interested. Ask questions that other persons will enjoy answering. Encourage them to talk about themselves and their accomplishments.
When a study was made a few years ago on runaway wives, what do you think was discovered to be the main reason wives ran away? It was lack of appreciation.
when the fierce, burning winds blow over our lives-and we cannot prevent them-let us, too, accept the inevitable. And then get busy and pick up the pieces.
Check up each week on the progress you are making. Ask yourself what mistakes you have made, what improvement, what lessons you have learned for the future.
In short, we lose the freshness and spontaneity of true conversation. These are areas in which everyone interested in self-improvement will seek to improve.
When dealing with people, remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but with creatures bristling with prejudice and motivated by pride and vanity.
Be more concerned with your character than with your reputation, for your character is what you are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are.
If we merely try to impress people and get people interested in us, we will never have many true, sincere friends. Friends, real friends, are not made that way.
When two partners always agree, one of them is not necessary.” If there is some point you haven’t thought about, be thankful if it is brought to your attention.
If you argue and rankle and contradict, you may achieve a victory sometimes; but it will be an empty victory because you will never get your opponent’s good will.
Remember that the people you are talking to are a hundred times more interested in themselves and their wants and problems than they are in you and your problems.
It is not executive ability; it is not a great mentality; it is not kindliness, nor courage, nor a sense of humor, though each of these is of tremendous importance.
Listen first. Give your opponents a chance to talk. Let them finish. Do not resist, defend or debate. This only raises barriers. Try to build bridges of understanding.
This is the only chance you will ever have on earth with this exciting adventure called life. So why not plan it, and try to live it as richly, as happily as possible?
Anyone can do his work, however hard, for one day. Anyone can live sweetly, patiently, lovingly, purely, till the sun goes down. And this is all that life really means.
Everyone should have a deep-seated interest or hobby to enrich his mind, add zest to living, and perhaps, depending upon what it is, result in a service to his country.
People who can put themselves in the place of other people, who can understand the workings of their minds, need never worry about what the future has in store for them.
Dealing with people is probably the biggest problem you face, especially if you are in business. Yes, and that is also true if you are a housewife, architect or engineer.
A person’s toothache means more to that person than a famine in China which kills a million people. A boil on one’s neck interests one more than forty earthquakes in Africa.
You can get ahead in the world. But you will have to work, you will have to want tremendously to accomplish something, and then be willing to pay the price. Are you willing?
Neither you nor I nor Einstein nor the Supreme Court of the United States is brilliant enough to reach an intelligent decision on any problem without first getting the facts.
Any fool can try to defend his or her mistakes- and most fools do- but it raises one above the herd and gives one a feeling of nobility and exultation to admit one’s mistakes.
Every minister, lecturer and public speaker know the discouragement of pouring himself of herself out to an audience and not receiving a single ripple of appreciative comment.
People say I’m cocky, but am I supposed to sit here and be insecure and not know where my future’s going or not realize that moviemaking is the greatest thing to happen to me?
You may be right, dead right, as you speed along in your argument; but as far as changing another’s mind is concerned, you will probably be just as futile as if you were wrong.
There is only one way under high heaven to get anybody to do anything. Did you ever stop to think of that? Yes, just one way. And that is by making the other person want to do it.
One of the surest ways of making a friend and influencing the opinion of another is to give consideration to [his or her] opinion, let [him or her] sustain a feeling of importance.
The world is so full of people who are grabbing and self-seeking. So the rare individual who unselfishly tries to serve others has an enormous advantage. He has little competition.
the person who has technical knowledge plus the ability to express ideas, to assume leadership, and to arouse enthusiasm among people—that person is headed for higher earning power.
Try leaving a trail of little sparks of gratitude on your daily trips. You will be surprised how they will set small flames of friendship that will be rose beacons on your next visit.
Your smile brightens the lives of all who see it. To someone who has seen a dozen people frown, scowl or turn their faces away, your smile is like the sun breaking through the clouds.
About 15 percent of one’s financial success is due to one’s technical knowledge and about 85 percent is due to skill in human engineering—to personality and the ability to lead people.
If there is any one secret of success, said Henry Ford, it lies in the ability to get the other person’s point of view and see things from that person’s angle as well as from your own.
Men of age object too much, consult too long, adventure too little, repent too soon, and seldom drive business home to the full period, but content themselves with a mediocrity of success.
I have come to the conclusion that there is only one way under high heaven to get the best of an argument— and that is to avoid it. Avoid it as you would avoid rattlesnakes and earthquakes.
Did you ever see an unhappy horse? Did you ever see bird that had the blues? One reason why birds and horses are not unhappy is because they are not trying to impress other birds and horses.
The man who grasps an opportunity as it is paraded before him, nine times out of ten makes a success, but the man who makes his own opportunities is, barring an accident, a sure-fire success
Are you bored with life? Then throw yourself into some work you believe in with all your heart, live for it, die for it, and you will find happiness that you had thought could never be yours.
Try leaving a friendly trail of little sparks of gratitude on your daily trips. You will be surprised how they will set small flames of friendship that will be rose beacons on your next visit.
Be ‘hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise,’ and people will cherish your words and treasure them and repeat them over a lifetime – repeat them years after you have forgotten them.
There are four ways, and only four ways, in which we have contact with the world. We are evaluated and classified by these four contacts: what we do, how we look, what we say, and how we say it.
There is a reason why the other man thinks and acts as he does. Ferret out that reason — and you have the key to his actions, perhaps to his personality. Try honestly to put yourself in his place.
If you believe in what you are doing, then let nothing hold you up in your work. Much of the best work of the world has been done against seeming impossibilities. The thing is to get the work done.
When dealing with people, let us remember we are not dealing with creatures of logic. We are dealing with creatures of emotion, creatures bristling with prejudices and motivated by pride and vanity.
If some people are so hungry for a feeling of importance that they actually go insane to get it, imagine what miracle you and I can achieve by giving people honest appreciation this side of insanity.
Remember that other people may be totally wrong. But they don’t think so. Don’t condemn them. Any fool can do that. Try to understand them. Only wise, tolerant, exceptional people even try to do that.
Everybody in the world is seeking happiness – and there is one sure way to find it. That is by controlling your thoughts. Happiness doesn’t depend on outward conditions. It depends on inner conditions.
The ideas I stand for are not mine. I borrowed them from Socrates. I swiped them from Chesterfield. I stole them from Jesus. And I put them in a book. If you don’t like their rules, whose would you use?
The trouble with most of us is that we keep our eyes closed to opportunities that thrust themselves at us; and rare is the man who searches for his opportunity or sees one even when he stumbles over it.
Do you remember the things you were worrying about a year ago? How did they work out? Didn’t you waste a lot of fruitless energy on account of most of them? Didn’t most of them turn out all right after all?
I shall pass this way but once; any good, therefore, that I can do or any kindness that I can show to any human being, let me do it now. Let me not defer nor neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again.
Today is life-the only life you are sure of. Make the most of today. Get interested in something. Shake yourself awake. Develop a hobby. Let the winds of enthusiasm sweep through you. Live today with gusto.
Whenever you go out-of-doors, draw the chin in, carry the crown of the head high, and fill the lungs to the utmost; drink in the sunshine; greet your friends with a smile, and put soul into every handclasp.
I will chum with you, and suffer when you suffer, and laugh when you laugh. I will bite my tongue when impatient words come. I will keep saying as if it were a ritual: “He is nothing but a boy — a little boy!
Action seems to follow feeling, but really action and feeling go together; and by regulating the action, which is under the more direct control of the will, we can indirectly regulate the feeling, which is not.
Don’t be afraid to give your best to what seemingly are small jobs. Every time you conquer one it makes you that much stronger. If you do the little jobs well, the big ones will tend to take care of themselves.
Buddha said: ‘Hatred is never ended by hatred but by love,’ and a misunderstanding is never ended by an argument but by tact, diplomacy, conciliation and a sympathetic desire to see the other person’s viewpoint.
An argument would have begun to steam and boil and sputter – and you know how arguments end. Even if I had convinced him that he was wrong, his pride would have made it difficult for him to back down and give in.
If you want others to like you, if you want to develop real friendships, if you want to help others at the same time as you help yourself, keep this principle in mind: Become genuinely interested in other people.
It is the individual who is not interested in his fellow men who has the greatest difficulties in life and provides the greatest injury to others. It is from among such individuals that all human failures spring.
Let’s realise that criticisms are like homing pigeons. They always return home. Let’s realise that the person we are going to correct and condemn will probably justify himself o herself, and condemn us in return.
The best possible way to prepare for tomorrow is to concentrate with all your intelligence, all your enthusiasm, on doing today’s work superbly today. That is the only possible way you can prepare for the future.
Even in such technical lines as engineering, about 15% of one’s financial success is due one’s technical knowledge and about 85% is due to skill in human engineering, to personality and the ability to lead people.
If you and I want to stir up a resentment tomorrow that may rankle across the decades and endure until death, just let us indulge in a little stinging criticism – no matter how certain we are that it is justified.
Let’s never try to get even with our enemies, because if we do we will hurt ourselves far more than we hurt them. Let’s do as General Eisenhower does: let’s never waste a minute thinking about people we don’t like.
When the friendly jailer gave Socrates the poison cup to drink, the jailer said: “Try to bear lightly what needs must be.” Socrates did. He faced death with a calmness and resignation that touched the hem of divinity.
In a Nutshell – Fundamental Techniques In Handling People; Principle 1 – Don’t criticize, condemn or complain; Principle 2 – Give honest and sincere appreciation; Principle 3 – Arouse in the other person an eager want.
Practice, practice, practice in speaking before an audience will tend to remove all fear of audiences, just as practice in swimming will lead to confidence and facility in the water. You must learn to speak by speaking.
How often we all have heard speakers begin by calling the attention of the audience to their lack of preparation or lack of ability. If you are not prepared, the audience will probably discover it without your assistance.
We all have possibilities we don’t know about. We can do things we don’t even dream we can do. It’s only when necessity faces us that we rise to the occasion and actually do the things that hitherto have seemed impossible.
You are something new in this world. Never before, since the beginning of time, has there ever been anybody exactly like you; and never again throughout all the ages to come will there ever be anybody exactly like you again.
Most people don’t remember names, for the simple reason that they don’t take the time and energy necessary to concentrate and repeat and fix names indelibly in their minds. They make excuses for themselves; they are too busy.
The biggest lesson I have learned is the stupendous importance of what we think. If I knew what you think, I would know what you are, for your thoughts make you what you are; by changing our thoughts, we can change our lives.
Why talk about what we want? That is childish. Absurd. Of course, you are interested in what you want. You are eternally interested in it. But no one else is. The rest of us are just like you: we are interested in what we want.
Did you ever stop to think that a dog is the only animal that doesn’t have to work for a living? A hen has to lay eggs, a cow has to give milk, and a canary has to sing. But a dog makes his living by giving you nothing but love.
If you want to win friends, make it a point to remember them. If you remember my name, you pay me a subtle compliment; you indicate that I have made an impression on you. Remember my name and you add to my feeling of importance.
When ill luck besets us, to ease the tension we have only to remember that happiness is relative. The next time you are tempted to grumble about what has happened to you, why not pause and be glad that it is no worse than it is.
Obviously, circumstances alone do not make us happy or unhappy. It is the way we react to circumstances that determines our feelings. Jesus said that the kingdom of heaven is within you. That is where the kingdom of hell is, too.
So if you aspire to be a good conversationali st, be an attentive listener. To be interesting, be interested. Ask questions that other persons will enjoy answering. Encourage them to talk about themselves and their accomplishments
To change somebody’s behavior, change the level of respect she receives by giving her a fine reputation to live up to. Act as though the trait you are trying to influence is already one of the person’s outstanding characteristics.
If you disagree with them you may be tempted to interrupt. But don’t. It is dangerous. They won’t pay attention to you while they still have a lot of ideas of their own crying for expression. So listen patiently and with an open mind.
One of the tragic things I know about human nature is that all of us tend to put off living. We are all dreaming of some magical rose garden over the horizon – instead of enjoying the roses that are blooming outside our windows today.
Relaxation and Recreation The most relaxing recreating forces are a healthy religion, sleep, music, and laughter. Have faith in God—learn to sleep well— Love good music—see the funny side of life— And health and happiness will be yours.
The most important thing in life is not simply to capitalize on your gains. Any fool can do that. The important thing is to profit from your losses. That requires intelligence, and makes the difference between a man of sense and a fool.
One of the most tragic things I know about human nature is that all of us tend to put off living. We are all dreaming of some magical rose garden over the horizon instead of enjoying the roses that are blooming outside our windows today.
No one likes to feel that he or she is being sold some-thing or told to do a thing. We much prefer to feel that we are buying of our own accord or acting on our own ideas. We like to be consulted about our wishes, our wants, our thoughts.
We can all endure disaster and tragedy, and triumph over them-if we have to. We may not think we can, but we have surprisingly strong inner resources that will see us through if we will only make use of them. We are stronger than we think.
Criticism is futile because it puts a person on the defensive and usually makes them strive to justify themselves. Criticism is dangerous, because it wounds a person’s precious pride, hurts their sense of importance, and arouses resentment.
Good speakers usually find when they finish that there have been four versions of the speech: the one they delivered, the one they prepared, the one the newspapers say was delivered, and the one on the way home they wish they had delivered.
If you can be sure of being right only 55 percent of the time, you can go down to Wall Street and make a million dollars a day. If you can’t be sure of being right even 55 percent of the time, why should you tell other people they are wrong?
Let us not get so busy or live so fast that we can’t listen to the music of the meadow or the symphony that glorifies the forest. Some things in the world are far more important than wealth; one of them is the ability to enjoy simple things.
You can sing only what you are. You can paint only what you are. You must be what your experiences, your environment, and your heredity have made you. For better or for worse, you must play your own little instrument in the orchestra of life.
The unvarnished truth is that almost all the people you meet feel themselves superior to you in some way, and a sure way to their hearts is to let them realize in some subtle way that you recognize their importance, and recognize it sincerely.
Fear is the result of a lack of confidence. A lack of confidence is the result of not knowing what you can do. A lack of knowing what you can do is caused by a lack of experience. A lack of experience is caused by a lack of doing something new.
Many people think that if they were only in some other place, or had some other job, they would be happy. Well, that is doubtful. So get as much happiness out of what you are doing as you can and don’t put off being happy until some future date.
Your purpose is to make your audience see what you saw, hear what you heard, feel what you felt. Relevant detail, couched in concrete, colorful language, is the best way to recreate the incident as it happened and to picture it for the audience.
Close your eyes. You might try saying. . . something like this: “The sun is shining overhead. The sky is blue and sparkling. Nature is calm and in control of the world-and I, as nature’s child, am in tune with the Universe.” Or-better still-pray!
Actions speak louder than words, and a smile says, ‘I like you. You make me happy. I am glad to see you.’ That is why dogs make such a hit. They are so glad to see us that they almost jump out of their skins. So, naturally, we are glad to see them.
Actions speak louder than words, and a smile says, ‘I like you. You make me happy. I am glad to see you.’ That is why dogs make such a hit. They are so glad to see us that they almost jump out of their skins. So, naturally, we are glad to see them.
Instead of condemning people, let’s try to understand them. Let’s try to figure out why they do what they do. That’s a lot more profitable and intriguing than criticism; and it breeds sympathy, tolerance and kindness. To know all is to forgive all.
The words “Think and Thank” are inscribed in many of the Cromwellian churches of England. These words ought to be inscribed in our hearts, too: “Think and Thank”. Think of all we have to be grateful for, and thank God for all our boons and bounties.
Benjamin Franklin, tactless in his youth, became so diplomatic, so adroit at handling people, that he was made American Ambassador to France. The secret of his success? I will speak ill of no man, he said, … and speak all the good I know of everybody.
Praise is like sunlight to the warm human spirit; we cannot flower and grow without it. And yet, while most of us are only too ready to apply to others the cold wind of criticism, we are somehow reluctant to give our fellow the warm sunshine of praise.
A ship in the harbor is safe, but that is not what ships are built for. Intelligence is like underwear, everyone has it, but you don’t have to show it off. The expression a woman wears on her face is more important than the clothes she wears on her back.
Live an active life among people who are doing worthwhile things, keep eyes and ears and mind and heart open to absorb truth, and then tell of the things you know, as if you know them. The world will listen, for the world loves nothing so much as real life.
Once you have made a careful decision based on facts, go into action. Don’t stop to reconsider. Don’t begin to hesitate, worry, and retrace your steps. Don’t lose yourself in self-doubting which begets other doubts. Don’t keep looking back over your shoulder.
Would you sell both your eyes for a million dollars…or your two legs…or your hands…or your hearing? Add up what you do have, and you’ll find you won’t sell them for all the gold in the world. The best things in life are yours, if you can appreciate them.
The difference between appreciation and flattery? That is simple. One is sincere and the other insincere. One comes from the heart out; the other from the teeth out. One is unselfish; the other selfish. One is universally admired; the other universally condemned.
The chronic kicker, even the most violent critic, will frequently soften and be subdued in the presence of a patient, sympathetic listener— a listener who will be silent while the irate fault-finder dilates like a king cobra and spews the poison out of his system.
Looking at the other person’s point of view and arousing in him an eager want for something is not to be construed as manipulating that person so that he will do something that is only for your benefit and his detriment. Each party should gain from the negotiation.
Nothing else so inspires and heartens people as words of appreciation. You and I may soon forger the words of encouragement and appreciation that we utter now, but the person to whom we have spoken them may treasure them and repeat them to themselves over a lifetime
They that soar too high, often fall hard, making a low and level Dwelling preferable. The tallest Trees are most in the Power of the Winds, and Ambitious Men of the Blasts of Fortune. Buildings have need of a good Foundation, that lie so much exposed to the Weather.
When I asked him -Mr.Henry Ford- if he ever worried, he replied: “No. I believe God is managing affairs and that He doesn’t need any advice from me. With God in charge, I believe that every-thing will work out for the best in the end. So what is there to worry about?
The legendary French aviation pioneer and author Antoine de Saint-Exupéry wrote: I have no right to say or do anything that diminishes a man in his own eyes. What matters is not what I think of him, but what he thinks of himself. Hurting a man in his dignity is a crime.
Do you know someone you would like to change and regulate and improve? Good! That is fine. I am all in favor of it, But why not begin on yourself? From a purely selfish standpoint, that is a lot more profitable than trying to improve others – yes, and a lot less dangerous.
Develop success from failures. Discouragement and failure are two of the surest steppingstones to success. No other element can do so much for a man if he is willing to study them and make capital out of them. Look backward. Can’t you see where your failures have helped you?
doing it until you have a record of successful experiences behind you. That is the quickest and surest way ever yet discovered to conquer fear. You can conquer almost any fear if you will only make up your mind to do so. For remember, fear doesn’t exist anywhere except in the mind.
It isn’t what you have or who you are or where you are or what you’re doing that makes you happy or unhappy. It’s what you think of it. Two people may in the same place doing the same thing, and yet one may be miserable and the other happy. Why? Because of a different mental attitude.
Whenever Roosevelt (Theodore) expected a visitor, he sat up late the night before, reading up on the subject in which he knew his guest was particularly interested. For Roosevelt knew, all the leaders royal road to a person’s heart is to talk about the things he or she treasures most.
If we are so contemptibly selfish that we can’t radiate a little happiness and pass on a bit of honest appreciation without trying to get something out of the other person in return – if our souls are no bigger than sour crab apples, we shall meet with the failure we so richly deserve.
If we are so contemptibly selfish that we can’t radiate a little happiness and pass on a bit of honest appreciation without trying to screw something out of the other person in return—if our souls are no bigger than sour crab apples, we shall meet with the failure we so richly deserve.
It was this desire for a feeling of importance that led an uneducated, poverty-stricken grocery clerk to study some law books he found in the bottom of a barrel of household plunder that he had bought for fifty cents. You have probably heard of this grocery clerk. His name was Lincoln.
John Wanamaker, founder of the stores that bear his name, once confessed: “I learned thirty years ago that it is foolish to scold. I have enough trouble overcoming my own limitations without fretting over the fact that God has not seen fit to distribute evenly the gift of intelligence.
I know men and women can banish worry, fear and various kinds of illnesses, and can transform their lives by changing their thoughts. I know! I know! I know! I have seen such incredible transformations performed hundreds of times. I have seen them so often that I no longer wonder at them.
Begin with praise and honest appreciation. Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly. Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person. Ask questions instead of giving direct orders. Make the fault easy to correct. Make the other person happy about doing what you suggest.
I honestly believe that this is one of the greatest secrets to true peace of mind — a decent sense of values. We could annihilate 50 percent of all our worries at once if we would develop a sort of private gold standard — a gold standard of what things are worth to us in terms of our lives.
If you want to be happy, set yourself a goal that commands your thoughts, liberates your energy and inspires your hopes. Happiness is within you. It comes from doing some certain thing into which you can put all your thought and energy. If you want to be happy, get enthusiastic about something.
You have it easily in your power to increase the sum total of this world’s happiness now. How? By giving a few words of sincere appreciation to someone who is lonely or discouraged. Perhaps you will forget tomorrow the kind words you say today, but the recipient may cherish them over a lifetime.
In talking with people, don’t begin by discussing the things on which you differ. Begin by emphasizing – and keep on emphasizing – the things on which you agree. Keep emphasizing, if possible, that you are both striving for the same end and that your only difference is one of method and not of purpose.
We nourish the bodies of our children and friends and employees, but how seldom do we nourish their selfesteem? We provide them with roast beef and potatoes to build energy, but we neglect to give them kind words of appreciation that would sing in their memories for years like the music of the morning stars.
When Theodore Roosevelt was in the White House, he confessed that if he could be right 75 percent of the time, he would reach the highest measure of his expectation. . . . If that was the highest rating that one of the most distinguished men of the twentieth century could hope to obtain, what about you and me?
The very best way in all the world to overcome self-consciousn ess and shyness is to get interested in other people and to think of them and, almost miraculously, your timidity will pass. Do something for other people. Practice deeds of kindness, acts of friendliness, and you’ll be surprised to see what happens.
When you have a lemon, make a lemonade.’ That is what a great educator does. But the fool does the exact opposite. If he finds that life has handed him a lemon, he gives up and says, ‘I ‘m beaten. It is fate. I haven’t got a chance.’ Then he proceeds to rail against the world and indulge in an orgy of self-pity .
Remember, happiness doesn’t depend upon who you are or what you have; it depends solely upon what you think. So start each day by thinking of all the things you have to be thankful for. Your future will depend very largely on the thoughts you think today. So think thoughts of hope and confidence and love and success.
A good deed, “said the prophet Mohammed, “is one that brings a smile of joy to the face of another.” Why will doing a good deed every day produce such astounding efforts on the doer? Because trying to please others will cause us to stop thinking of ourselves: the very thing that produces worry and fear and melancholia.
When we are harassed and reach the limit of our own strength, many of us then turn in desperation to God-“There are no atheists in foxholes.” But why wait till we are desperate? Why not renew our strength every day? Why wait even until Sunday? For years I have had the habit of dropping into empty churches on weekday afternoons.
There is one all-important law of human conduct. If we obey that law, we shall almost never get into trouble. In fact, that law, if obeyed, will bring us countless friends and constant happiness. But the very instant we break the law, we shall get into endless trouble. The law is this: Always make the other person feel important.
Don’t criticize, condemn or complain. Constantly criticizing, condemning and complaining is what breaks most relationships. Instead of criticizing and condemning, figure out how you can solve the problem together. Instead of focusing on blaming the other person for what they did wrong, focus on how you can avoid the problem next time.
If you want to know how to make people shun you and laugh at you behind your back and even despise you, here is the recipe: Never listen to anyone for long. Talk incessantly about yourself. If you have an idea while the other person is talking, don’t wait for him or her to finish: bust right in and interrupt in the middle of a sentence.
When I feel that I am too rushed and hurried to spare a few minutes to think about spiritual things, I say to myself: “Wait a minute, Dale Carnegie, wait a minute. Why all the feverish hurry and rush, little man? You need to pause and acquire a little perspective.” At such times, I frequently drop into the first church that I find open.
I realize now that people are not thinking about you and me or caring what is said about us. They are thinking about themselves-before breakfast, after breakfast, and right on until ten minutes past midnight. They would be a thousand times more concerned about a slight headache of their own than they would about the news of your death or mine.
When dealing with people, let us remember that we are not dealing with creatures of logic. We are dealing with creatures of emotion, creatures bristling with prejudices and motivated by pride and vanity. …Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain – and most fools do. But it takes character and self-control to be understanding and forgiving.
And the pathetic part of it is that frequently those who have the least justification for a feeling of achievement bolster up their egos by a show of tumult and conceit which is truly nauseating. As Shakespeare put it: … man, proud man, / Drest in a little brief authority, / … Plays such fantastic tricks before high heaven / As make the angels weep.
Let’s cease thinking of our accomplishments, our wants. Let’s try to figure out the other man’s good points. Then forget flattery. Give honest, sincere appreciation. Be hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise, and people will cherish your words and treasure them and repeat them over a lifetime – repeat them years after you have forgotten them.
When we are not engaged in thinking about some definite problem, we usually spend about 95 percent of our time thinking about ourselves. Now, if we stop thinking about ourselves for a while and begin to think of the other person’s good points, we won’t have to resort to flattery so cheap and false that it can be spotted almost before it is out of the mouth.
Instead of condemning people, let’s try to understand them. Let’s try to figure out why they do what they do. That’s a lot more profitable and intriguing than criticism; and it breeds sympathy, tolerance and kindness. To know all is to forgive all. As Dr. Johnson said: God himself, sir, does not propose to judge man until the end of his days. Why should you and I?
Bitter criticism caused the sensitive Thomas Hardy, one of the finest novelists ever to enrich English literature, to give up forever the writing of fiction. Criticism drove Thomas Chatterton, the English poet, to suicide. . . . Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain – and most fools do. But it takes character and self-control to be understanding and forgiving.
When we hate our enemies, we are giving them power over us: power over our sleep, our appetites, our blood pressure, our health and our happiness. Our enemies would dance with joy if only they knew how they were worrying us, lacerating us, and getting even with us! Our hate is not hurting them at al, but our hate is turning our days and nights into a hellish turmoil.
Millions of people have wrecked their lives in angry turmoil, because they refused to accept the worst; refused to try to improve upon it; refused to salvage what they could from the wreck. Instead of trying to reconstruct their fortunes, they engaged in a bitter and “violent contest with experience”- and ended up victims of that brooding fixation known as melancholia.
Enthusiasm is the dynamics of your personality. Without it, whatever abilities you may possess lie dormant; and it is safe to say that nearly every man has more latent power than he ever learns to use. You may have knowledge, sound judgment, good reasoning faculties; but no one-not even yourself-will know it until you discover how to put your heart into thought and action.
I want you to think of your life as an hourglass. You know there are thousands of grains of sand in the top of the hourglass; and they all pass slowly and evenly through the narrow neck in the middle. Nothing you or I could do would make more than one grain of sand pass through this narrow neck without impairing the hourglass. You and I and everyone else are like this hourglass.
Even if we are right and the other person is definitely wrong, we only destroy ego by causing someone to lose face. The legendary French aviation pioneer and author Antoine de Saint-Exupéry wrote: I have no right to say or do anything that diminishes a man in his own eyes. What matters is not what I think of him, but what he thinks of himself. Hurting a man in his dignity is a crime.
One of the worst features about worrying is that it destroys our ability to concentrate. When we worry, our minds jump here and there and everywhere, and we lose all power of decision. However, when we force ourselves to face the worst and accept it mentally, we then eliminate all those vague imaginings and put ourselves in a position in which we are able to concentrate on our problem.
The value of a smile… It costs nothing, but creates much. It enriches those who receive, without impoverishing those who give. It happens in a flash and the memory of it sometimes lasts forever. None are so rich they can get along without it, and none so poor but are richer for its benefits. It creates happiness in the home, fosters good will in a business, and is the countersign of friends.
Develop success from failures. Discouragement and failure are two of the surest stepping stones to success. The successful man will profit from his mistakes and try again in a different way. When you’re afraid, keep your mind on what you have to do…if you have been thoroughly prepared, you will not be afraid. We all have possibilities we don’t know about. We can do things we don’t even dream we can do.
The reason why rivers and seas receive the homage of a hundred mountain streams is that they keep below them. Thus they are able to reign over all the mountain streams. So the sage, wishing to be above men, putteth himself below them; wishing to be before them, he putteth himself behind them. Thus, though his place be above men, they do not feel his weight; though his place be before them, they do not count it an injury.
Although I am a Protestant, I frequently, on weekday afternoons, drop into St. Patrick’s Cathedral on Fifth Avenue, and remind myself that I’ll be dead in another thirty years, but that the great spiritual truths that all churches teach are eternal. I close my eyes and pray. I find that doing this calms my nerves, rests my body, clarifies my perspective, and helps me revalue my values. May I recommend this practice to you?
Personally I am very fond of strawberries and cream, but I have found that for some strange reason, fish prefer worms. So when I went fishing, I didn’t think about what I wanted. I thought about what they wanted. I didn’t bait the hook with strawberries and cream. Rather, I dangled a worm or grasshopper in front of the fish and said: “Wouldn’t you like to have that?” Why not use the same common sense when fishing for people?
PRINCIPLE 1 The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it. PRINCIPLE 2 Show respect for the other person’s opinions. Never say, You’re wrong. PRINCIPLE 3 If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically. PRINCIPLE 4 Begin in a friendly way. PRINCIPLE 5 Get the other person saying yes, yes immediately. PRINCIPLE 6 Let the other person do a great deal of the talking. PRINCIPLE 7 Let the other person feel that the idea
You and I are standing this very second at the meeting place of two eternities: the vast past that has endured forever, and the future that is plunging on to the last syllable of recorded time. We can’t possible live in either of those eternities – no, not even for a split second. But, by trying to do so, we can wreck both our bodies and our minds. So let’s be content to live the only time we can possible live: from now until bedtime.
IN A NUTSHELL SIX WAYS TO MAKE PEOPLE LIKE YOU PRINCIPLE 1 Become genuinely interested in other people. PRINCIPLE 2 Smile. PRINCIPLE 3 Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language. PRINCIPLE 4 Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves. PRINCIPLE 5 Talk in terms of the other person’s interests. PRINCIPLE 6 Make the other person feel important—and do it sincerely.
Suppose you had inherited the same body and temperament and mind that Al Capone had. Suppose you had had his environment and experiences. You would then be precisely what he was. . . . For it is those things – and only those things – that made him what he was. . . . You deserve very little credit for being what you are – and remember, the people who come to you irritated, bigoted, unreasoning, deserve very little discredit for being what they are.
Let’s find and remedy all our weaknesses before our enemies get a chance to say a word. That is what Charles Darwin did. …When Darwin completed the manuscript of his immortal book “The Origin Of Species” he realized that the publication of his revolutionary concept of creation would rock the intellectual and religious worlds. So he became his own critic and spent another 15 years checking his data, challenging his reasoning, and criticizing his conclusions.
If we rail and kick against it and grow bitter, we won’t change the inevitable; but we will change ourselves. I know. I have tried it. I once refused to accept an inevitable situation with which I was confronted. I played the fool and railed against it, and rebelled. I turned my nights into hells of insomnia. I brought upon myself everything I didn’t want. Finally, after a year of self-torture, I had to accept what I knew from the outset I couldn’t possible alter.
Apply the blacksmith’s homely principle when you are speaking. If you feel deeply about your subject you will be able to think of little else. Concentration is a process of distraction from less important matters. It is too late to think about the cut of your coat when once you are upon the platform, so centre your interest on what you are about to say—fill your mind with your speech-material and, like the infilling water in the glass, it will drive out your unsubstantial fears.
I consider my ability to arouse enthusiasm among my people, said Schwab, the greatest asset I possess, and the way to develop the best that is in a person is by appreciation and encouragement. There is nothing else that so kills the ambitions of a person as criticisms from superiors. I never criticize anyone. I believe in giving a person incentive to work. So I am anxious to praise but loath to find fault. If I like anything, I am hearty in my approbation and lavish in my praise.
George Bernard Shaw was right. He summed it all up when he said: “The secret of being miserable is to have the leisure to bother about whether you are happy or not.” So don’t bother to think about it! Spit on your hands and get busy. Your blood will start circulating; your mind will start ticking-and pretty soon this whole positive upsurge of life in your body will drive worry from your mind. Get busy. Keep busy. It’s the cheapest kind of medicine there is on this earth-and one of the best.
Think of your life as an hourglass. You know there are thousands of grains of sand in the top of the hourglass; and they all pass slowly and evenly through the narrow neck in the middle. Nothing you or I could do would make more than one grain of sand pass through this narrow neck without impairing the hourglass. You and I and everyone else are like this hourglass…if we do not take [tasks] one at a time and let them pass…slowly and evenly, then we are bound to break our own…structure.
Tell a child, a husband or an employee that he is stupid or dumb at a certain thing, that he has no gift for it, and that he is doing it all wrong and you have destroyed almost every incentive to try to improve. But use the opposite technique, be liberal with encouragement; make the thing seem easy to do, let the other person know that you have faith in his ability to do it, that he has an undeveloped flair for it – and he will practice until the dawn comes in at the window in order to excel.
Five hundred years before Christ was born, the Greek philosopher Heraclitus told his students that everything changes except the law of change”. He said: “You cannot step in the same river twice.” The river changes every second; and so does the man who stepped in it. Life is a ceaseless change. The only certainty is today. Why mar the beauty of living today by trying to solve the problems of a future that is shrouded in ceaseless change and uncertainty-a future that no one can possibly foretell?
Five hundred years before Christ was born, the Greek philosopher Heraclitus told his students that “everything changes except the law of change”. He said: “You cannot step in the same river twice.” The river changes every second; and so does the man who stepped in it. Life is a ceaseless change. The only certainty is today. Why mar the beauty of living today by trying to solve the problems of a future that is shrouded in ceaseless change and uncertainty-a future that no one can possibly foretell?
A smile is nature’s best antidote for discouragement. It brings rest to the weary, sunshine to those who are frowning, and hope to those who are hopeless and defeated. A smile is so valuable that it can’t be bought, begged, borrowed, or taken away against your will. You have to be willing to give a smile away before it can do anyone else any good. So if someone is too tired or grumpy to flash you a smile, let him have one of yours anyway. Nobody needs a smile as much as the person who has none to give.
I once succumbed to the fad of fasting and went for six days and nights without eating. It wasn’t difficult. I was less hungry at the end of the sixth day than I was at the end of the second. Yet I know, as you know, people who would think they had committed a crime if they let their families or employees go for six days without food; but they will let them go for six days, and six weeks, and sometimes sixty years without giving them the hearty appreciation that they crave almost as much as they crave food.
Thousands of salespeople are pounding the pavements today, tired, discouraged and underpaid. Why? Because they are always thinking only of what they want. They don’t realize that neither you nor I want to buy anything. If we did, we would go out and buy it. But both of us are eternally interested in solving our problems. And if salespeople can show us how their services or merchandise will help us solve our problems, they won’t need to sell us. We’ll buy. And customers like to feel that they are buying – not being sold.
One of the most appalling comments on our present way of life is that at one time half of all the beds in our hospitals were reserved for patients with nervous and mental troubles, patients who had collapsed under the crushing burden of accumulated yesterdays and fearful tomorrows. Yet a vast majority of those people would be walking the streets today, leading happy, useful lives — if they had only heeded the words of Jesus: “Have no anxiety about the morrow”; or the words of Sir William Osler: “Live in day-tight compartments.”
Psychiatrists declare that most of our fatigue derives from our mental and emotional attitudes… What kinds of emotional factors tire the sedentary (or sitting) worker? Joy? Contentment? No! Never! Boredom, resentment, a feeling of not being appreciated, a feeling of futility, hurry, anxiety, worry-those are the emotional factors that exhaust the sitting worker, make him susceptible to colds, reduce his output, and send him home with a nervous headache. Yes, we get tired because our emotions produce nervous tensions in the body.
Be a balanced optimist. Nobody is suggesting that you become an oblivious Pollyanna, pretending that nothing bad can or ever will happen. Doing so can lead to poor decisions and invites people to take advantage of you. Instead, be a rational optimist who takes the good with the bad, in hopes of the good ultimately outweighing the bad, and with the understanding that being pessimistic about everything accomplishes nothing. Prepare for the worst but hope for the best – the former makes you sensible, and the latter makes you an optimist.
During the past thirty years, people from all the civilised countries of the earth have consulted me. I have treated many hundreds of patients. Among all my patients in the second half of life-that is to say, over thirty-five-there has not been one whose problem in the last resort was not that of finding a religious outlook on life. It is safe to say that every one of them fell ill because he had lost that which the living religions of every age have given to their followers, and none of them has been really healed who did not regain his religious outlook.
Why prove to a man he is wrong? Is that going to make him like you? Why not let him save face? He didn’t ask for your opinion. He didn’t want it. Why argue with him? You can’t win an argument, because if you lose, you lose it; and if you win it, you lose it. Why? You will feel fine. But what about him? You have made him feel inferior, you hurt his pride, insult his intelligence, his judgment, and his self-respect, and he’ll resent your triumph. That will make him strike back, but it will never make him want to change his mind. A man convinced against his will is of the same opinion still.
It costs nothing, but creates much. It enriches those who receive, without impoverishing those who give. It happens in a flash and the memory of it sometimes lasts forever. None are so rich they can get along without it, and none so poor but are richer for its benefits. It creates happiness in the home, fosters good will in a business, and is the countersign of friends. It is rest to the weary, daylight to the discouraged, sunshine to the sad, and Nature’s best antidote for trouble. Yet it cannot be bought, begged, borrowed, or stolen, for it is something that is no earthly good to anybody till it is given away.
A third of the people who rush to psychiatrists for help could probably cure themselves if they could only do as Margaret Yates did: get interested in helping others. My idea? No, that is approximately what Carl Jung said. And he ought to know—if anybody does. He said: About one third of my patients are suffering from no clinically definable neurosis, but from the senselessness and emptiness of their lives. To put it another way, they are trying to thumb a ride through life—and the parade passes them by. So they rush to a psychiatrist with their petty, senseless, useless lives. Having missed the boat, they stand on the wharf, blaming everyone except themselves and demanding that the world cater to their self-centered desires.
If your temper is aroused and you tell ’em a thing or two, you will have a fine time unloading your feelings. But what about the other fellow? Will he share your pleasure? Will your belligerent tones, your hostile attitude, make it easy for him to agree with you? “If you come at me with your fists doubled,” said Wood row Wilson, “I think I can promise you that mine will double as fast as yours; but if you come to me and say, ‘Let us sit down and take counsel together, and, if we differ from one another, understand why it is that we differ from one another, just what the points at issue are,’ we will presently find that we are not so far apart after all, that the points on which we differ are few and the points on which we agree are many, and that if we only have the patience and the candor and the desire to get together, we will get together.
Simply changing one three-letter word can often spell the difference between failure and success in changing people without giving offense or arousing resentment. Many people begin their criticism with sincere praise followed by the word but and ending with a critical statement. For example, in trying to change a child’s careless attitude toward studies, we might say, We’re really proud of you, Johnnie, for raising your grades this term. But if you had worked harder on your algebra, the results would have been better. In this case, Johnnie might feel encouraged until he heard the word but. He might then question the sincerity of the original praise. To him, the praise seemed only to be a contrived lead-in to a critical inference of failure. Credibility would be strained, and we probably would not achieve our objectives of changing Johnnie’s attitude toward his studies. This could be easily overcome by changing the word but to and. We’re really proud of you, Johnnie, for raising your grades this term, and by continuing the same conscientious efforts next term, your algebra grade can be up with all the others.

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About Dale Carnegie

Quotes by Dale Carnegie