About the book

Suffering from a chronic sense of “not enough” from a young age, it took the experience of nearly dying for Aimee Davies to realise that her striving after perfection was destroying her. This memoir shares her journey from self-hate to self-worth and the wild lengths she went to to re-discover herself including mystical brews in South America, living in the jungle, joining a spiritual cult and living like a monk. From her addiction to looking physically perfect to then attempting to be spiritually perfect, Aimee buys into the belief that being perfect will bring her the love and acceptance she needs to find peace. Finally, she has a profound and lasting realisation that stops her frantic search in its tracks and allows her to fall head over heels in love with her imperfect and messy humanness. A timeless and deeply affirming tale of joy lost and re-found, told with breath-taking honesty, Imperfect gets to the very heart of what it means to be human and what it takes to embrace ourselves as we are.

“It is only when we accept our humanness that our divinity is able to shine through us.” Aimee Davies

Buy book: Amazon

Year published: 2021


Quotes from the book


Imperfect (Aimee Davies)

Embrace yourself as you are


Learn to accept yourself as you are…

  • Authentic spirituality accepts both the beautiful and the seemingly ugly parts within us. It is not about rejecting or annihilating the ego but recognising and healing it.
  • Self-acceptance is realising the treasure you seek is always found within you. You are the treasure-hunter, the journey, and the treasure itself.
  • True beauty is someone who is truly okay with themselves as they are…

…by coming home to yourself…

  • It is said that the greatest journey is the one that leads you home. In accepting yourself, you come home to yourself.

…by realising there is nothing wrong with you…

  • Self-acceptance means accepting even your non-acceptance. It is not about becoming new and shiny, it is about letting go of the belief that there is something inherently wrong with you.

…by allowing what is to be…

  • Self-acceptance is also fully accepting what’s here in us right now. If we are feeling anxious, that’s okay. If we are feeling angry, that’s okay. If we are feeling negative, that’s okay. We let ourselves be as we are.
  • Self-acceptance is welcoming every emotion into your guest house.
  • Lasting self-improvement and positive change only occurs when you first deeply accept what is.

…especially your emotions as they arise

  • To fight anger with anger only makes you see a deeper shade of red. To resist envy only makes it more green. To turn sadness away means it will come back tomorrow twice as blue. True self-compassion is to fully accept and allow what is. To allow it to be there and be fully felt.
  • Human emotions are beautiful. Anger can stir a revolution. Sadness can create masterpieces. Joy can uplift the world. All emotions are sacred if we understand them.

Embrace your humanness

  • I now believe strongly in a more life-affirming spirituality that loves, celebrates and embraces our humanness.

Realise the tremendous power of self-acceptance

  • Inner change creates outer change. The inner revolution of self-acceptance is a powerful force for peace, love and joy. Both within and without.
  • There is no make-up to compare with the radiance that comes from a profound sense of self-okayness.
  • When you fear the unloved parts within you, they control you. But when you accept and embrace them, you heal the wounded parts of you. You mend your brokenness with the glue of self-compassion.

Self-acceptance is the path to learning to love yourself

  • Self-love is about expressing and accepting the “beingness” or the “youness” of you. It is not a doing but a state of being. It is being comfortable in your own skin and mind.
  • Self-love is a shift more and more from the realms of the mind into the realms of the heart. It re-opens rooms long abandoned and forgotten and lets the light in.
  • If you want to claim your Divine dominion right now, really feel with your whole soul that you already love and accept yourself unconditionally. Walk, talk and dress like the Divine rock star you are.

Treat yourself with understanding and compassion

  • When you love yourself, it doesn’t mean you are egoistical or arrogant. It simply means you accept yourself as you are and treat yourself with kindness, understanding and compassion.
  • Acknowledging our wounds and soothing them with self-compassion is a potent antidote to all forms of self-hate.

Forgive yourself

  • Self-acceptance and self-love are twin siblings. They come alive when you let go of who you think you should be, and just be who you are. They are about loving all parts of yourself. They are about forgiving what you did in the past.
  • Your mistakes do not need to be a life sentence. The act of self-forgiveness is a conscious choice you must make every day.
  • Forgiveness rarely happens all at once; it is a process.
  • Forgiveness doesn’t necessarily mean reconciliation, but it does mean letting go of anger.
  • Forgiveness opens you to your true joyful nature.
  • Forgiveness can’t be forced or faked. Forgiveness happens when you’re ready to set the prisoner free in the realisation the prisoner has been you all along.

Be kind to yourself and others

  • Many of us are deeply wounded and most of our scars are invisible which is why we must be kind to one another.

Feel your inherent “enoughness”

  • I wish I could give you a big heartfelt hug and tell you how beautiful you are! I wish I could tell you face-to-face that every scar, emotional and physical, makes you who you are. You are enough! Feel this in your heart and bones.
  • Everything is a manifestation of the Divine and all things are perfect in their own unique way. The same Spirit which created the stars, planets and moons also created you.

There is nothing more healing and powerful than self-love

  • The search for and attainment of external happiness can never be fruitful when we hate ourselves.
  • How you treat others is an outward expression of how you treat yourself. All outer transformation happens first within.
  • We need love and acceptance just like we need water and oxygen and the only truly reliable source for this is from within.
  • Something magical happens when you begin to love and accept yourself. You start to shine your light again. You realise that you are connected to a deeper Self, a divine spark within. This divine spark is the light of your inner awareness, illuminating all your life experiences, and when you sink back and rest in it, as it, it is felt as a sense of pure aliveness and joy.
  • The truth is that your relationship with yourself is the most important relationship you’ll ever have. It sets the tone for all the other relationships in your life.
  • A state of wellness or unwellness always begins with how you feel about yourself. Even modern science is discovering the connection between the mind and body.

Realise you are a beautiful work in progress…

  • You are a verb, not a noun. Not an object, but a continual becoming. You are a living, breathing and ever-changing human being in transit. A work in progress.
  • As we grow older, we begin to see ourselves more and more as nouns. I am like this. I am like that. I like this. I hate that. And thus, we imprison ourselves in who we think we are, or who we think we should be. This is the source of all of our most self-limiting beliefs.

…and that you are perfectly imperfect just as you are

  • An inner joy flooded into me as I realised I am perfectly imperfect just as I am. I realised all my spiritual striving was only the spiritual ego trying to enlighten itself. I really knew this time that I don’t need to enlighten myself because I am already whole. My true identity is not the seeker but the joyful spirit that is my innermost being. When I stopped searching for joy on the outside, joy found me on the inside. I realised that the joy arising within was my natural state of being. Joy is who I am. Joy is my very essence. Joy is my natural birthright.

Stop living life based on the expectation of others…

  • We kill our dreams and passions in order to live a life based on the expectations of others.
  • We dim our light so we can conform to the world.
  • You cannot be the ultimate You when you are a slave to the dogma of another.

…and let go of the need for external approval

  • My sense of self was determined by what I thought others would find acceptable and pleasing. The way I felt about myself depended entirely on what I thought others thought of me.
  • I craved the love of others to compensate for my lack of self-love. When our sense of self is dependent on external validation, we become slaves to the approval of others.
  • External approval is notoriously unreliable. Even when someone heaps approval on us, they have the power to withdraw it in an instant.
  • I desperately wanted to be loved by others, but in that wanting, I stopped loving myself.

Realise your true worth

  • True self-worth is knowing your value doesn’t increase or decrease depending on someone’s judgements about you.

Be unapologetically you

  • Seek to be yourself, and not the version others want you to be. Be the fruit loop in a world brimming with cheerios or the toucan in a world full of seagulls. And remember, everyone prefers Neapolitan ice-cream to plain vanilla.
  • Without your own authentic power, you are like a droopy flower with closed petals. But when you are courageous enough to be yourself and speak your truth, you are like a sunflower with your face outstretched towards the sun.
  • In our desperate attempt to be liked, we stop being true to ourselves. This is a tragedy because there is nothing more important or empowering than being yourself.
  • Don’t be nothing, be something! Be unapologetically yourself. Let the critics criticise and the quitters quit… you just keep going.

Strive for realness

  • If we must strive, let us strive for realness, not perfection. Our scars make us real. Our imperfections make us beautiful. Our brokenness is where the light gets in.

Say yes to your own needs

  • I was taught growing up that a “yes” attitude is the right attitude. The truth is that a “yes” attitude is a wonderful attitude only if you also say yes to our own needs. Even on an airplane in distress, you must first fit your own oxygen mask before you can effectively help others in need. It is not selfish to put your own needs first. In fact, it is doing others a service.
  • You cannot hope to fill another’s cup when your own cup is empty.

Stop creating a sense of self based on externals

  • Change is the only certainty and creating a sense of self based on transient externals is to base our happiness and inner peace on something highly impermanent and completely unreliable.

Instead, get in touch with your inner being for this is who you really are…

  • There is a space of presence within each of us that is all-forgiving, all-accepting and all-loving. This Divine-Spark exists within every living creature.
  • Remind yourself that you are not the judgemental voice which puts you down. You are not the inner critic. You are that which is aware of it. You are the space of awareness within which thoughts come and go.

… and allow its light to shine

  • The light of our loving awareness transmutes darkness.
  • To taste freedom, we must let the sunshine of our inner being, the divinity within us, shine through our human form. The exquisite paradox is that more we accept and celebrate our humanness, the more transparent we become and the more our divinity shines through us.
  • To inhabit our body fully and saturate it with loving-kindness is what the world calls ‘glow.’ A person who has made their body and mind a home—not a prison—is one who radiates from the inside out, blessing the outer world with its light. That is love. That is the miracle of loving your “youness.”
  • Discover what is true for you. Feel the true, authentic source of Divine light within you now.
  • There is a power within us that is so magnificent that we would cry in sheer delight if we knew its greatness.

Embrace all of life


Realise the wonder and miracle of being alive and conscious

  • According to science, the chances of you being born are one in 400 trillion. The probability of you existing is virtually zero! Yet somehow, magically, you exist. Right now, at this very moment, you are alive and conscious. Isn’t that incredible?
  • It is a gift to be human, alive and conscious on this wondrous planet. We all have a purpose and mission that only we can fulfil. Do not let doubts drain your dreams.

Realise life is a mystery and gift

  • Life is a delicious mystery and a wondrous gift, even with its chaos and commotion, highs and lows, joys and sorrows. It is a gift to gaze at the sunset, to lie under the evening stars, to listen to music, to swim in the ocean, to hear the laughter of children, to fall in love, to make love, to hug, to laugh and to cry. Life is an exquisite banquet where all can be tasted and enjoyed.

Embrace all aspects of the human experience

  • I have come to discover that when you love life—life loves you back. To love life is to embrace all aspects of the human experience, both the easy and the difficult parts.
  • Life, in all its moods, and with all its twists, and turns, happens for us, not to us.

Say giddy-up to life…

  • Self-empowerment is taking charge of your life. It’s saying to the world, “My choice. My way. My life!” It is saddling the horse of fear and saying, “Giddy up!” The wise don’t run away from fear, they ride with it. The great mistake is thinking one day you will be ready.

…and dive into the unknown

  • The great mistake is thinking one day you will be ready. None of us will never ever be 100% ready. You must be prepared to make the leap anyway.
  • Go out and kick ass! Be your own knight in shining armour. Be your own hero. Be your own saviour. You are the only person responsible for your life.
  • The Universe always supports those who are willing to take a chance, dive into the unknown and follow their bliss against the odds.

Realise life can be a struggle but struggle is beautiful…

  • Life is a process. And by its nature, it is a struggle. But it is a beautiful and worthwhile struggle. And when you realise that, it’s no longer so much of a struggle.
  • Transformation is painful and pain is part of life. But our struggle is never in vain.
  • The outdated belief that happiness is a constant state of peace is setting ourselves up for failure.

…for without struggle, we cannot grow

  • Like the caterpillar, just when we think the world is over, we emerge from the chrysalis of our despair to discover the struggle has gifted us with wings to fly. Having shed our limits, we take to the air.
  • Any process of lasting growth is always uncomfortable. That’s why we talk about growing pains.
  • A master doesn’t blame others for his circumstances, he recognises them as golden opportunities for growth.
  • The tragedy and trials of life shape us but they do not define us. What defines us is how we use them to grow, evolve and transform into the persons we are destined to become.

What would life be without its complications and challenges?

  • Next time life surprises you with an unexpected and unwelcome twist, imagine that your life is a movie. What would a movie be like with no complications or struggles? No opportunities for the hero to grow or learn, no challenges to overcome, no chance for the spirit to triumph over adversity? How pointless it would be and how boring! Life, like a movie, has its own script of challenges to grow from. Mixed in with the comedy and romance and feel good moments is trial and tragedy and even occasional horror. But without it, life would soon feel meaningless and purposeless.

Realise suffering can be a wake-up call to wholeness

  • My suffering was the catalyst to my search for freedom. My fall into darkness allowed me to find my inner light.
  • Everything is positive, even the most intense suffering, if it makes us turn inwards and learn to love ourselves.
  • Life will never give us exactly what we want. But life will always give us exactly what we need. Suffering is a wakeup call to return to wholeness.
  • Suffering is not a curse if it encourages us to grow. Experiences that force us willingly or unwillingly to change are life’s invitations to expand our wings and fly to ever higher places.
  • We cannot reach the mountain top of love without first traversing the valley of despair.

Realise mistakes have much to teach

  • … the path to the greatest fulfilment and meaning is almost always lined with its fair share of failures and mistakes. Without them, how would we ever learn and grow? The truth is that success feels good but it has little to teach.

Life is about transcending our limits…

  • All self-growth and self-transformation is a process of change resulting from the shedding of our self-imposed limitations, just as a crawling caterpillar sheds its form to transform itself into a soaring butterfly. And so, through us, life evolves from limited towards limitless, just as it has evolved, through life forms before us, from sea to land to sky and into space.

… allowing the universe to grow, expand and experience itself through us

  • The Universe wants to grow, expand and experience itself through you. Anything you do that makes you feel contracted, constricted or drained is a clear sign that your soul is struggling to breathe.
  • You are the Universe playing a cosmic game of hide and seek. It has intentionally lost itself to find itself through you. When you understand this, you have found freedom.
  • Our nature is to expand and transcend. It is the siren call of the divinity within us. It is what our inner being most wants to experience through us. No wonder we experience the triumph of the spirit when we transcend that which holds us back.

Surrender to life…

  • Nature knows when to change seasons. Birds know when to migrate. The breath breathes itself, and the heart beats without effort. The heartbeat of the Universe sustains, maintains and unfolds according to its own rhythm. Life, in its most affirming state, is not about forcing anything but coming into sync with and surrendering to the natural rhythm of the Universe.
  • Faith is not a blind belief but a deep knowing that all is well. It is to trust that all is unfolding exactly as it is meant to for the good of the All.

…and go with life’s flow

  • … the only true control we have is how we react to what life gives us. Life becomes much easier when we allow ourselves to go with the universal flow. To go with the flow is to let things be as they are. It is to stop pushing, pulling and grabbing at life’s lapels. Like a graceful and beautiful dance, we allow life to lead us without pushing back. As Alan Watts said, “The only way to make sense of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance.”
  • When you fight with the Universe, you are punching thin air and the Universe will remain undefeated every time.

Rest in awareness…

  • True freedom is not about controlling your thoughts and feelings but becoming aware of them. It is about being fully present and consciously aware of your emotions; without wanting to change or fix them or push them away. It is about watching the mind without judging it. To watch without judgement is to become a space of loving awareness.
  • …witness your inner states passing like clouds overhead. Let the clouds pass. You are the sky. Your unconditional, aware presence is your true self. It is a space that is awake, open, unbounded and vast.

…and be here now

  • The past, present and future are not linear. Everything is happening in this eternal now. The future is determined by what we do now; by our present state of consciousness. And magically, when we joyfully live in the present, we reframe and heal our past.
  • This now-moment is actually all we truly have. It’s where all of life happens.

Befriend your mind

  • It’s impossible to win a war against an enemy with outposts inside your own head. There is no need for war. Befriend your mind. Let the thoughts be there, bathing them in non-judgemental awareness. By resting in awareness and accepting their presence, they will be free to pass through without nesting in your hair.

Recognise and answer your calling…

  • The Calling is a message from the Universe about what you were called here to do. It is your passion and purpose. It gives your life meaning and depth. It motivates you to get up in the morning. It is your wild heart saying, ‘This is what I am supposed to be doing!’
  • A true calling transcends the fulfilling of only personal needs; it is the longing to awaken to our divine nature and thus, become an instrument of peace. It is the desire to serve others and to create something that will benefit humanity. The deeper the calling, the more you can trust the power of universal intelligence to look after your needs and show you the way.
  • Once we accept the calling, we start the inner journey towards a life of purpose and meaning. We let Life show us the way. We surrender, trust and allow the Divine to guide us.

…by aligning your passion and gifts with the universe’s purpose for you

  • Inner genius is not about being smart. It is about unleashing the infinite creativity of your unique giftedness and passion.
  • A true calling is the alignment of your passion with the Universe’s purpose for you. The Universe’s desire becomes your desire.
  • Don’t ever lose that which awakens passion in you. What brings you joy is just as vital as breathing.
  • You might experience condemnation, criticism and confusion when you follow your heart, but it is better than sticking rigidly to the beaten track.
  • The Universe would not have created you if you didn’t have a gift to give.
  • You are a gift to the world at large, and no gift was ever meant to stay wrapped up in a box forever.

Learn to say no to what drains you

  • Say no to what doesn’t feel right and yes to what does. As Derek Sivers said, “If you’re not saying, “Hell yeah!” then say no.” True self-empowerment is saying no to what drains you and yes to what excites and energises you.

Listen to and trust your inner voice…

  • When you trust your intuition, you are in sync with the heartbeat of the Universe. Your intuition is an inner GPS which guides and navigates you.
  • Your intuition is the small, quiet voice within that speaks through feelings, impulses, instincts and inspired thoughts. This voice is continuously giving guidance but most of us have too much mental noise to tune in to it.

…and don’t mind the critics

  • Have compassion for the incessant critics; they are so used to living in a self-imposed prison that they are threatened to see someone stepping out of it.