About the book

Why are so many people living alone these days? The model of the traditional family is breaking down, children barely into their teens are experimenting with sex, and half of all marriages in developed countries end in divorce. In this book, Osho explains why these phenomena are happening and how they can actually be viewed as a cause for celebration rather than a worry. In a post ideological world, where old moralities are clearly out of date, we have a golden opportunity to redefine and revitalize the foundations of our lives. Why is it that people who are happy being alone have the best chance to be happy with someone else?  Goodreads

Year published: 2001

Buy book: Amazon


Quotes from the book


Love, Freedom and Aloneness (Osho)

We must first love ourselves before we can love the other

  • I also teach you to love yourself first. It has nothing to do with ego. In fact, love is such a light that the darkness of the ego cannot exist in it at all. If you love others, if your love is focused on others, you will live in darkness. Turn your light toward yourself first, become a light unto yourself first. Let the light dispel your inner darkness, your inner weakness. Let love make you a tremendous power, a spiritual force.
  • Don’t be afraid of loving yourself. Love totally, and you will be surprised: The day you can get rid of all self-condemnation, self-disrespect—the day you can get rid of the idea of original sin, the day you can think of yourself as worthy and loved by existence—will be a day of great blessing. From that day onward you will start seeing people in their true light, and you will have compassion. And it will not be a cultivated compassion; it will be a natural, spontaneous flow.
  • If somebody loves you, you accept it because you love yourself. You are happy with yourself; somebody else is happy—good! It does not get in your head, it does not make you madly egoistic. You simply enjoy yourself; somebody else also finds you enjoyable—good! While it lasts, live the fiction as beautifully as possible—it will not last forever. 

We can be alone but not lonely – we can practice this through meditation

  • What is needed is that you become aware of your aloneness, which is a reality. And it is so beautiful to experience it, to feel it, because it is your freedom from the crowd, from the other. It is your freedom from the fear of being lonely.
  • And meditation is nothing but enjoying your beautiful aloneness. Celebrating yourself; that’s what meditation is all about.
  • The greatest miracle in the world is that you are, that I am. To be is the greatest miracle—and meditation opens the doors of this great miracle. But only a man who loves himself can meditate; otherwise you are always escaping from yourself, avoiding yourself. 

True love is in giving, not receiving

  • The ordinary love is a demand, the real love is a sharing. It knows nothing of demand; it knows the joy of giving.
  • Love is sharing; greed is hoarding. Greed only wants and never gives, and love knows only giving and never asks for anything in return; it is unconditional sharing.
  • Once you are in a relationship you start taking each other for granted—that’s what destroys all love affairs. 
  • Love is something that can be transferred even to the farthest star just by your loving look. Just by your touch, love can be transferred to a tree. Without saying a single word . . . it can be conveyed in absolute silence. It need not be said, it declares itself. It has its own ways of reaching into the very depths, into your being. First be full of love, then the sharing happens.

Love is relating, not relationships

  • Love is never a relationship; love is relating. 
  • Lovers end, love continues—it is a continuum. It is a verb, not a noun. And why do we reduce the beauty of relating to relationship? Why are we in such a hurry? Because to relate is insecure, and relationship is a security. 
  • Relationship has a certainty; relating is just a meeting of two strangers, maybe just an overnight stay and in the morning we say goodbye. Who knows what is going to happen tomorrow? And we are so afraid that we want to make it certain, we want to make it predictable. 
  • Explore again, start again. That’s what I mean by relating. Relating means you are always starting, you are continuously trying to become acquainted. Again and again, you are introducing yourself to each other. You are trying to see the many facets of the other’s personality. You are trying to penetrate deeper and deeper into his realm of inner feelings, into the deep recesses of his being. You are trying to unravel a mystery that cannot be unravelled. That is the joy of love: the exploration of consciousness.

Love is freedom

  • But remember, love knows no boundaries. Love cannot be jealous, because love cannot possess. It is ugly, the very idea that you possess somebody because you love. You possess somebody—it means you have killed somebody and turned him into a commodity. Only things can be possessed. Love gives freedom. Love is freedom.
  • The moment love becomes attachment, love becomes a relationship. The moment love becomes demanding, it is a prison. It has destroyed your freedom; you cannot fly in the sky, you are encaged.
  • Love has to be of the quality that gives freedom, not new chains for you; a love that gives you wings and supports you to fly as high as possible.