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About the book


The world moves fast, but that doesn’t mean we have to. In this best-selling mindfulness guide – it has sold more than three million copies in Korea, where it was a number-one best-seller for 41 weeks and received multiple best book of the year awards – Haemin Sunim (which means “spontaneous wisdom”), a renowned Buddhist meditation teacher born in Korea and educated in the United States, illuminates a path to inner peace and balance amid the overwhelming demands of everyday life.

By offering guideposts to well-being and happiness in eight areas – including relationships, love, and spirituality – Haemin Sunim emphasizes the importance of forging a deeper connection with others and being compassionate and forgiving toward ourselves.

Buy book: Amazon

Year published:  2017

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Quotes from the book

The Things You Can See Only When You Slow Down (Haemin Sunim)

  • Being a critic is easy.
  • Life teaches us through our mistakes.
  • Love yourself despite your imperfections.
  • I resolve to be that person for those around me.
  • Love, not righteous words, can change people’s lives.
  • Stop shouting, “What if?” and just take a leap of faith.
  • Don’t just wait for what you want to happen. Act first.
  • Isn’t it better to be happy together than to be right alone?
  • Do not fight your negative emotions. Observe and befriend them.
  • It is a sign of great spiritual strength to keep someone else’s secret.
  • The most dangerous people are those who have passion but lack wisdom. If
  • Criticism without a solution is merely an inflation of the critic’s ego.
  • the art of maintaining good relationships and cultivating self-compassion. I
  • Dream big but start small. A small adjustment can have a big effect on your life.
  • Beyond stereotypes and assumptions, there is a valley of openness and authenticity
  • Getting the job done well is more important than one’s feelings of doing a good job.
  • Our reality is not the infinitely stretching cosmos but the small part we choose to focus on.
  • The determination to convince someone might stem from being not completely convinced yourself.
  • In contrast, when people who know you well respect you, it is probably because you deserve it.
  • Life isn’t a hundred-meter race against your friends, but a lifelong marathon against yourself.
  • she never thought about loving herself because love for her always meant giving it to someone else.
  • The more you know, the more you think you don’t. The more you don’t know, the more you think you do.
  • As we accept what is, our minds are relaxed and composed while the world changes rapidly around us. Do
  • If you have led an honorable and honest life, there is no need to be afraid of speaking the truth. The
  • The best way to get event with someone who has left you is to meet someone new and become happy again.
  • When you speak ill of others, it hurts you more than anyone – because your negativity is loudest within you.
  • But if the critic tries to run the operation, he soon understands that nothing is as easy as his criticisms.
  • When people who don’t know you well admire you, they are seeing their projected illusion, not your real self.
  • If we look at it more closely, we see it’s not the situation that is troubling us, but our perspective on it.
  • When you concentrate, even a phone book can be interesting. If you are bored, maybe you are not concentrating.
  • A bad driver brakes often. A bad conversationalist also brakes often— interrupting the flow with his own stories.
  • I wish you could see my true nature. Beyond my body and labels, there is a river of tenderness and vulnerability.
  • Do not turn something trivial into a major source of agony by wasting time and energy thinking about it endlessly.
  • Allow yourself a good night’s sleep. When you wake up the next day, the problem will seem lighter. It works, truly.
  • To get food unstuck from a frying pan, just pour water in the pan and wait. After a while the food loosens on its own.
  • Tôi mơ đến một xã hội có cách đánh giá con người bắt đầu từ câu hỏi “Người đó có thể làm gì? Và người đó đang định làm gì?
  • Wisdom is not something we have to strive to acquire. Rather, it arises naturally as we slow down and notice what is already there.
  • If you are desperately looking to meet someone special, send your prayer out to the universe. The universe is an amazing matchmaker.
  • By complaining that something we have to do is too hard, we add another layer of difficulty. Take a deep breath, and then just do it.
  • Don’t struggle to heal your wounds. Just pour time into your heart and wait. When your wounds are ready, they will heal on their own.
  • When someone does not like us, it is not our problem but theirs. Not everyone will like us. This is a problem only if we let it bother us.
  • Everything in this universe is evanescent. Because it is evanescent, it is also precious. Spend this precious moment wisely and beautifully.
  • Life is like theater. You are assigned a role. If you don’t like the role, keep in mind that you have the power to re-create the role you want.
  • One word of encouragement, said with kindness and hope, can change a person’s future, the way it did for the five hundred disciples and for me.
  • There is a famous Buddhist saying that everyone appears as buddhas in the eyes of the Buddha and everyone appears as pigs in the eyes of a pig.
  • What our mind focuses on becomes our world. Seen this way, the mind does not seem so insignificant in relation to the world out there, does it?
  • When I gaze upon water, I become water. When I look at a flower, I become the flower. The flower riding on the water, yippee! ZEN MASTER SEO-ONG
  • Be the kind of person who can put yourself in someone else’s shoes and understand something not just from your own perspective but from theirs as well.
  • Your freedom is more important than money. It is better to live the kind of life you want than to earn more and be constrained. Don’t sell your freedom.
  • Maturity comes with experience. One lesson of maturity is that we should not take our thoughts too seriously, and must learn to curb our ego and see the bigger picture.
  • Do you want to be happy, or do you want to appear happy? Never mind what the world tells you to do to be happy. Be truthful to yourself and discover what you really want.
  • Spirituality must be practiced not just in solitude but also among people. Open up to people around you and feel connected. This is the true challenge of spiritual practice.
  • Life teaches us through our mistakes. When you make a mistake, simply ask yourself what you were meant to learn from it. When we accept such lessons with humility and gratitude,
  • Remember that you are neither your feelings nor the story your mind tells about you to make sense of them. You are the vast silence that knows of their emergence and their disappearance.
  • According to some psychologists, happiness can be assessed with two simple questions. First, do you find meaning in your work? Second, do you have good relationships with those around you?
  • If you want revenge because your feelings are hurt, all you can see is your own suffering. But if you calm yourself and look more deeply, you will see that the person who hurt you is suffering, too.
  • If you do not know how to solve a problem in your life, give prayer a try. As you bring your attention inward and sincerely seek an answer, something sacred within you unlocks the door of inner wisdom.
  • Given that the world we see through our mind’s eye is limited, if we can train our mind and choose wisely where to focus, then we will be able to experience the world corresponding to the state of our mind.
  • There is no need to torment yourself because someone dislikes you. Accept it as a fact of life; you cannot control how others feel about you. If someone does not like you, let her have her opinion. Just move on.
  • If you wish to clear away the clouds of your thoughts, simply keep your mind in the present. The clouds of thought linger on in the past or the future. Bring your mind to the present, and your thoughts will rest.
  • pure attention without judgment is not only the highest form of human intelligence, but also the expression of love. Observe the changing energy both attentively and lovingly as it unfolds in the space of your mind.
  • To keep doing your work for a long time, do not treat it as just work. View it as a source of enjoyment and growth. The road to happiness lies not just in find a good job but learning to enjoy what you are asked to do
  • We know the world only through the window of our mind. When our mind is noisy, the world is as well. And when our mind is peaceful, the world is, too. Knowing our minds is just as important as trying to change th world.
  • What makes music beautiful is the distance between one note and another. What makes speech eloquent is the appropriate pause between words. From time to time we should take a breath and notice the silence between sounds.
  • If I had to summarize the entirety of most people’s lives in a few words, it would be endless resistance to what is. As we resist, we are in constant motion trying to adjust, and yet we still remain unhappy about what is.
  • If I had to summarize the entirety of an enlightened person’s life in a few words, it would be complete acceptance of what is. As we accept what is, our minds are relaxed and composed while the world changes rapidly around us.
  • If you want to predict how a politician will act after winning an election, look at how he currently lives and how he has behaved in the past. A person does not live the way he says he would. He lives the way he has been living.
  • The more grateful we feel, the happier we become. This is because gratitude helps us realize we are all connected. Nobody feels like an island when feeling grateful. Gratitude awakens us to the truth of our interdependent nature.
  • The person leading you toward spiritual awakening is not the one who praises you or is nice to you. Your spirituality deepens because of those who insult you and give you a hard time. They are your spiritual teachers in disguise. How
  • The purpose of religion is to control yourself, not to criticize others. How much am I doing about my anger, attachment, hatred, pride, and jealousy? These are the things we must check in our daily lives. —HIS HOLINESS, THE DALAI LAMA
  • When I look deeply within myself, I realize what it is that I really want from others: attentive ears that listen to what I am saying, kind words that acknowledge my existence and worth, gentle eyes that accept my flaws and insecurities.
  • There are many more ordinary hours in life than extraordinary ones. We wait in line at the supermarket. We spend hours commuting to work. We water our plants and feed our pets. Happiness means finding a moment of joy in those ordinary hours.
  • The biggest obstacle to learning is pretending to know even when you don’t. It is better to admit you don’t know something; if you pretend, you have to act as if you knew all along. It is easier to learn when you set aside your pride and are honest.
  • Are you a controlling parent? Are you devoting too much attention to your child? If the answer is yes, then turn some of that attention toward your parents. If you are good to your own parents, then your child will learn how to treat you in the future.
  • Are you a controlling parent? Are you devoting too much attention to your child? If the answer is yes, then turn some of that attention toward your parents. If you are good to your own parents, then your child will learn how to treat you in the future.
  • When your mind is joyful and compassionate, the world is, too. When your mind is filled with negative thoughts, the world appears negative, too. When you feel overwhelmed and busy, remember that you are not powerless. When your mind rests, the world also rests.
  • I was once told by a Buddhist master that there are two kinds of children in the world: those born to repay the kindness of their parents, and those born only to take what their parents have. Ask yourself: Which kind of a son or daughter are you to your parents?
  • No matter what we do, the top button of our business must be fastened properly. If we think, I’ll just do it this way for now and fix it later, it usually does not happen, because later we may not have the motivation to fix it, or we just get used to the way it is.
  • In the chambers of our heart, we have two tenants living side by side: Adolf Hitler and Mother Teresa. When we are overcome by insecurity and fear, we feel the inner workings of Hitler. When we are in touch with love and connection, we hear the gentle voice of Mother Teresa.
  • How should we consider a different spiritual path? We shall approach it with humility as well as a willingness to learn about another tradition. If our faith can be shaken from merely learning about a different tradition, then that faith is not worth keeping.” – Dr Kang Won Yong
  • Some say they don’t really know what they are looking for in life. This might be because, instead of getting in touch with how they feel, they have led their lives according to other people’s expectations. Live your life not to satisfy others, but to fulfill what your heart desires.
  • Our emotions are capricious, like the weather in London. One minute, when someone criticizes us, we are offended and furious. The next minute, when someone praises us, we feel proud and pompous. Unless we recognize the still point beneath the surface of our changing emotions, we will feel we are hostage to their whims.
  • Love is trusting someone, being there for someone, being ready to listen with a tender heart for no other reason than love. At times we are not sure whether what we feel is love. At that moment, ask yourself this: Am I happy to give more even after having given a lot? If the answer is yes, and there is no regret afterward, then that is probably love.
  • the eyes of the Buddha and everyone appears as pigs in the eyes of a pig. It suggests that the world is experienced according to the state of one’s mind. When your mind is joyful and compassionate, the world is, too. When your mind is filled with negative thoughts, the world appears negative, too. When you feel overwhelmed and busy, remember that you are not powerless. When your mind rests, the world also rests.
  • leave work for the day, if you find yourself asking, Do I have to live my whole life like this? Then try the following: Wake up a little earlier the next morning, and sit in silence, as if in meditation. Breathe in deeply and slowly, and ask yourself how your work is helping others, regardless of how insignificantly or indirectly. As you focus more on others, you can reconnect with the meaning and purpose of your
  • When we look at the outside world, we are looking at only a small part that interests us. The world we see is not the entire universe but a limited one that the mind cares about. However, to our minds, that small world is the entire universe. Our reality is not the infinitely stretching cosmos but the small part we choose to focus on. Reality exists because our minds exist. Without the mind, there would be no universe.
  • It is hard to find one’s calling because many mistakenly believe they need to look only within to discover their passion. Although it is true that we have innate interests and talents, we often do not know what they are until we have real-life experiences. Having a wide range of experiences can help you uncover your inner passion. Try various part-time jobs and internships, or volunteer. Don’t be afraid of rolling up your sleeves and diving in. While immersed in a job’s reality, you will discover whether it’s a good fit. Work experiences may unlock the door to a career opportunity you hadn’t considered.