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To camp is to get  out into the wilderness

• Thousands of tired, nerve-shaken, over-civilized people are beginning to find out going to the mountains is going home; that wilderness is a necessity.  John Muir
• Real freedom lies in wildness, not in civilization.  Charles Lindbergh
• We now no longer camp as for a night, but have settled down on earth and forgotten heaven. Henry David Thoreau
• Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong.  George Carlin
• Hiking,  Nature

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Camping means different things to different people

• Campers: Nature’s way of feeding mosquitoes.
• Camping: nature’s way of promoting the motel industry. Dave Barry
• Camping: The art of getting closer to nature while getting farther away from the nearest cold beverage, hot shower and flush toilet.

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A campsite soon feels like home

• But the place which you have selected for your camp, though never so rough and grim, begins at once to have its attractions, and becomes a very centre of civilization to you: “Home is home, be it never so homely.” Henry David Thoreau
• Home

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To camp under the starts is to feel part of nature

• How hard to realize that every camp of men or beast has this glorious starry firmament for a roof! In such places standing alone on the mountain-top it is easy to realize that whatever special nests we make – leaves and moss like the marmots and birds, or tents or piled stone – we all dwell in a house of one room – the world with the firmament for its roof –   and are sailing the celestial spaces without leaving any track.  John Muir
• A great many people, and more all the time, live their entire lives without ever once sleeping out under the stars. Alan S. Kesselheim
• Camping: The art of getting closer to nature while getting farther away from the nearest cold beverage, hot shower and flush toilet.
• Nature

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The heart of camping is the campfire

• Even in a time of elephantine vanity and greed, one never has to look far to see the campfires of gentle people. Garrison Keillor
• How is it that one match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box of matches to start a campfire? Christy Whitehead
• Somebody told me it was frightening how much topsoil we are losing each year, but I told that story around the campfire and nobody got scared. Jack Handey
• The fire is the main comfort of the camp, whether in summer or winter, and is about as ample at one season as at another. It is as well for cheerfulness as for warmth and dryness.  Henry David Thoreau

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Not everyone raves about camping

• I married a woman who loves to camp, and I am what you would call “indoorsy”… My wife always brings up, “Camping’s a tradition in my family.” Hey, it was a tradition in everyone’s family ’til we came up with the house. Jim Gaffigan
• Jews don’t go camping. Life is hard enough as it is.  Carol Siskind
• Any man, in the right situation, is capable of murder. But not any man is capable of being a good camper. So, murder and camping are not as similar as you might think. Jack Handy

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To camp is to brave the insects

• Campers: Nature’s way of feeding mosquitoes.
• My fear of camping: I’m convinced bugs will crawl up my vagina and lay eggs. Isn’t everyone? Kathy Griffin

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To camp is to brave the wildlife

• What on earth would I do if four bears came into my camp? Why, I would die of course. Literally shit myself lifeless. Bill Bryson

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To camp is to brave the hard ground

• I swear there are about a million rocks underneath me,” [Dylan] said grouchily. Think of it as therapeutic. Like a shiatsu massage.” (Sadie) You obviously have a much better imagination than me,” he said.”   Sarah Mayberry, Take on Me

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To camp is to brave the rain

• It always rains on tents. Rainstorms will travel thousands of miles, against prevailing winds for the opportunity to rain on a tent. Dave Barry
• Whatever form it takes, camping is earthy, soul enriching and character building, and there can be few such satisfying moments as having your tent pitched and the smoke rising from your campfire as the golden sun sets on the horizon– even if it’s just for a fleeting moment before the rain spoils everything. Pippa Middleton
• Rain

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• I got into an argument with a girlfriend inside of a tent. That’s a bad place for an argument, because then I tried to walk out and slammed the flap.  How are you supposed to express your anger in this situation?  Zipper it up really quick?  Mitch Hedberg
• I married a woman who loves to camp, and I am what you would call “indoorsy”… My wife always brings up, “Camping’s a tradition in my family.” Hey, it was a tradition in everyone’s family ’til we came up with the house. Jim Gaffigan
• If you’re not in New York, you’re camping out. Thomas E. Dewey
• How is it that one match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box of matches to start a campfire? Christy Whitehead
• It always rains on tents. Rainstorms will travel thousands of miles, against prevailing winds for the opportunity to rain on a tent. Dave Barry
• Campers: Nature’s way of feeding mosquitoes.
• Jews don’t go camping. Life is hard enough as it is.  Carol Siskind
• Last time I went camping I accidentally borrowed a circus tent. Steven Wright
• Show me a voice crying in the wilderness and I’ll show you a camper who forgot the booze.
• Somebody told me it was frightening how much topsoil we are losing each year, but I told that story around the campfire and nobody got scared. Jack Handey
• When using a public campground, a tuba placed on your picnic table will keep the campsites on either side vacant.
• I have always loved camping, ever since I was eight, and was forcibly stuffed in a trunk and dropped off in the middle of the forest. My dad was a complex man, but I believe he was trying to show me the value of camping. Jarod Kintz
• What on earth would I do if four bears came into my camp? Why, I would die of course. Literally shit myself lifeless. Bill Bryson
• Mom, camping is not a date; it’s an endurance test. If you can survive camping with someone, you should marry them on the way home. Yvonne Prinz
• I swear there are about a million rocks underneath me,” [Dylan] said grouchily. Think of it as therapeutic. Like a shiatsu massage.” (Sadie) You obviously have a much better imagination than me,” he said.”   Sarah Mayberry, Take on Me
• My fear of camping: I’m convinced bugs will crawl up my vagina and lay eggs. Isn’t everyone? Kathy Griffin
• Any man, in the right situation, is capable of murder. But not any man is capable of being a good camper. So, murder and camping are not as similar as you might think. Jack Handy
• The ultimate camping trip was the Lewis and Clark expedition. Dave Barry
• Camp life is just one canned thing after another.
• A lot of parents pack up their troubles and send them off to summer camp. Raymond Duncan

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