Alain de Botton (quotes)

  • Not everyone is worth listening to.
  • Most good thinking has its origin in fear.
  • We should not be frightened by appearances.
  • Art holds out the promise of inner wholeness.
  • Must being in love always mean being in pain?
  • Never, ever become a writer. It’s a nightmare.
  • A good half of the art of living is resilience.
  • Bitterness: anger that forgot where it came from.
  • Anxiety is the handmaiden of contemporary ambition.
  • Most victories are, in the best way, acts of revenge.
  • Envy: a confused, tangled guide to one’s own ambitions.
  • The greatest works of art speak to us without knowing us.
  • We will cease to be angry once we cease to be so hopeful.
  • To one’s enemies: “I hate myself more than you ever could.
  • What am I supposed to do here? What am I supposed to think?
  • Maturity: the confidence to have no opinions on many things.
  • It is perhaps sad books that best console us when we are sad.
  • Our bodies hold our minds hostage to their whims and rhythms.
  • The genius of religions is that they structure the inner life.
  • The secular world is full of holes. We have secularized badly.
  • Only as we mature does affection begin to depend on achievement.
  • As we write, so we build: to keep a record of what matters to us.
  • Unhappiness can stem from having only one perspective to play with.
  • What we find exotic abroad may be what we hunger for in vain at home.
  • Everyone wants a better life: very few of us want to be better people.
  • The longing for destiny is nowhere stronger than in our romantic life.
  • What is fascinating about marriage is why anyone wants to get married.
  • Forcing people to eat together is an effective way to promote tolerance.
  • If one felt successful, there’d be so little incentive to be successful.
  • Insomnia is a glamorous term for thoughts you forgot to have in the day.
  • I feel that the great challenge of our time is the communication of ideas.
  • There is always the option of being emotionally lazy, that is, of quoting.
  • Cynics are – beneath it all – only idealists with awkwardly high standards.
  • One of the best protections against disappointment is to have a lot going on.
  • How generous was it to offer gifts to people one knew would never accept them?
  • Reputation matters so much only because people so seldom think for themselves.
  • The greatest difficulty of Travel is that one is forced to take oneself along.
  • True love is a lack of desire to check one’s smartphone in another’s presence.
  • Happiness may be difficult to obtain. The obstacles are not primarily financial.
  • The blunt large questions become connected to smaller, apparently esoteric ones.
  • The only people we can think of as normal are those we don’t yet know very well.
  • Intuition is unconscious accumulated experience informing judgement in real time.
  • The only way to be happy is to realise how much depends on how you look at things
  • Artistic accounts involve severe abbreviations of what reality will force upon us.
  • Let death find us as we are building up our matchstick protests against its waves.
  • Mental health: having enough safe places in your mind for your thoughts to settle.
  • The best cure for one’s bad tendencies is to see them in action in another person.
  • We keep a special place in our hearts for people who refuse to be impressed by us.
  • Dreams reveal we never quite get ‘over’ anything: it’s all still in there somewhere.
  • Memory is… similar to anticipation: an instrument of simplification and selection.
  • My writing always came out of a very personal place, out of an attempt to stay sane.
  • Not being understood may be taken as a sign that there is much in one to understand.
  • We read the weird tales in newspapers to crowd out the even weirder stuff inside us.
  • One kind of good book should leave you asking: how did the author know that about me?
  • People only get really interesting when they start to rattle the bars of their cages.
  • The good parent: someone who doesn’t mind, for a time, being hated by their children.
  • As adults, we try to develop the character traits that would have rescued our parents.
  • I went to church and couldn’t swallow it. The music was nice but I don’t belong there.
  • Most of what makes a book ‘good’ is that we are reading it at the right moment for us.
  • True respectability stems not from the will of the majority but from proper reasoning.
  • Work finally begins when the fear of doing nothing exceeds the fear of doing it badly.
  • Anyone who isn’t embarrassed of who they were last year probably isn’t learning enough.
  • It wasn’t only fanatics and drunkards who began conversations with strangers in public.
  • Much of the really serious trouble in the world gets going with a sense of humiliation.
  • Many moments in religion seem attractive to me even though I can’t believe in any of it.
  • Although I don’t believe in God, Bach’s music shows me what a love of God must feel like.
  • Never too late to learn some embarrassingly basic, stupidly obvious things about oneself.
  • Forgiveness requires a sense that bad behaviour is a sign of suffering rather than malice.
  • I was uncomfortable writing fiction. My love was the personal essay rather than the novel.
  • There may be significant things to learn about people by looking at what annoys them most.
  • Bad art might be defined as a series of bad choices about what to show and what to leave out.
  • It is by finding out what something is not that one comes closest to understanding what it is.
  • Our greatest furies spring from events which violate our sense of the ground of our existence.
  • The challenge for a human now is to be more interesting to another than his or her smartphone.
  • There’s a whole category of people who miss out by not allowing themselves to be weird enough.
  • A virtuous, ordinary life, striving for wisdom but never far from folly, is achievement enough.
  • You need a long hard day’s work to reveal the logic of the craving for very bad tv and alcohol.
  • Intimacy is the capacity to be rather weird with someone – and finding that that’s ok with them.
  • The more dignity is widely and freely available in a society, the less people want to be famous.
  • There is no such thing as work-life balance. Everything worth fighting for unbalances your life.
  • A notorious inability to express emotions makes human beings the only animals capable of suicide.
  • In a secularising world, art has replaced religion as a touchstone of our reverence and devotion.
  • The challenge of modern relationships: how to prove more interesting than the other’s smartphone.
  • Being content is perhaps no less easy than playing the violin well: and requires no less practice.
  • Getting to the top has an unfortunate tendency to persuade people that the system is OK after all.
  • People who go on to be writers are those who can forgive themselves the horror of the first draft.
  • Rather than getting more spoilt with age, as difficulties pile up, epiphanies of gratitude abound.
  • The difference between hope and despair is a different way of telling stories from the same facts.
  • The telephone becomes an instrument of torture in the demonic hands of a beloved who doesn’t call.
  • Why, then, if expensive things cannot bring us remarkable joy, are we so powerfully drawn to them?
  • Feeling lost, crazy and desperate belongs to a good life as much as optimism, certainty and reason.
  • One of love’s greatest drawbacks is that, for a while at least, it is in danger of making us happy.
  • One of the better guarantors of ending up in a good relationship: an advanced capacity to be alone.
  • The mind does most of its best thinking when we aren’t there. The answers are there in the morning.
  • Only by declaring a book completely finished can one start to see how much remains to be done on it.
  • A simple problem of arithmetic: there are far more ambitions than there are grand destinies available.
  • Kant and Hegel are interesting thinkers. But I am happy to insist that they are also terrible writers.
  • Most of us still caged within careers chosen for us by our not entirely worldly 18-22 year old selves.
  • Everyone returns us to a different sense of ourselves, for we become a little of who they think we are.
  • To look at the paper is to raise a seashell to one’s ear and to be overwhelmed by the roar of humanity.
  • …if the beginnings of love and amorous politics are equally rosy, then the ends may be equally bloody.
  • The finest proof of our loyalty toward one another was our monstrous disloyalties towards everyone else.
  • It is striking how much more seriously we are likely to be taken after we have been dead a few centuries.
  • The materialistic view of happiness of our age starkly revealed in our understanding of the word “luxury.
  • A ‘good job’ can be both practically attractive while still not good enough to devote your entire life to.
  • In their different ways, art and philosophy help us, in Schopenhauer’s words, to turn pain into knowledge.
  • It’s clear to me that there is no good reason for many philosophy books to sound as complicated as they do.
  • People who readily accept the need for a gym will resist that their personalities might need some work too.
  • Once I began to consider everything as being of potential interest, objects released latent layers of value.
  • When Proust urges us to evaluate the world properly, he repeatedly reminds us of the value of modest scenes.
  • At the heart of every frustration lies a basic structure: the collision of a wish with an unyielding reality.
  • It’s hard loving those who don’t much like themselves: “If you’re so great, why would you think I’m so great.
  • Paying tax should be framed as a glorious civic duty worthy of gratitude – not a punishment for making money.
  • We should not feel embarrassed by our difficulties, only by our failure to grow anything beautiful from them.
  • What should worry us is not the number of people that oppose us, but how good their reasons are for doing so.
  • Work is most fulfilling when you’re at the comfortable, exciting edge of not quite knowing what you are doing.
  • One of the unexpectedly important things that art can do for us is to teach us how to suffer more successfully.
  • An argument in a couple: 2 people attempting to introduce each other to important truths – by panicked shouting.
  • Good books put a finger on emotions that are deeply our own – but that we could never have described on our own.
  • The media insists on taking what someone didn’t mean to say as being far closer to the truth than what they did.
  • You have to be quite heavily invested in someone to do them the honour of telling them you’re annoyed with them.
  • A successful work will draw out the features capable of exciting a sense of beauty and interest in the spectator.
  • Architects themselves tend to shy away from the word, preferring instead to talk about the manipulation of space.
  • Politics is so difficult, it’s generally only people who aren’t quite up to the task who feel convinced they are.
  • Being funny should be an incidental byproduct of trying to get to something truthful, not a destination in itself.
  • Every time we feel satisfied with what we have, we can be counted as rich, however little we may actually possess.
  • Most of our childhood is stored not in photos, but in certain biscuits, lights of day, smells, textures of carpet.
  • We should keep a careful diary of our moments of envy: they are our covert guides to what we should try to do next.
  • You normally have to be bashed about a bit by life to see the point of daffodils, sunsets and uneventful nice days.
  • Good sex isn’t just fun, it keeps us sane and happy. Having sex with someone makes us feel wanted, alive and potent.
  • Maturity: knowing where you’re crazy, trying to warn others of the fact and striving to keep yourself under control.
  • One’s doing well if age improves even slightly one’s capacity to hold on to that vital truism: “This too shall pass.
  • The fear of saying something stupid (which stupid people never have) has censored far more good ideas than bad ones.
  • The only possible way to begin a book is to tell oneself that its eventual failure is guaranteed ‚Äî but survivable.
  • Writing isn’ a career choice. It’s self-medication that over time precipitates the madness it was meant to ward off.
  • as the determinants of high status keep shifting, so, too, naturally, will the triggers of status anxiety be altered.
  • Happiness is impossible for longer than 15 minutes. We are the descendants of creatures who, above all else, worried.
  • Travel agents would be wiser to ask us what we hope to change about our lives rather than simply where we wish to go.
  • As victims of hurt, we frequently don’t bring up what ails us, because so many wounds look absurd in the light of day.
  • So many complaints boil down to the belly ache of the fragile, mortal, ignored ego in a vast and indifferent universe.
  • In the gap between who we wish one day to be and who we are at present, must come pain, anxiety, envy and humiliation.
  • It is perhaps when our lives are at their most problematic that we are likely to be most receptive to beautiful things.
  • Alcohol-inspired fights are a reminder of the price we pay for our daily submission at the altars of prudence and order.
  • Though it may feel otherwise, enjoying life is no more dangerous than apprehending it with continuous anxiety and gloom.
  • We study biology, physics, movements of glaciers… Where are the classes on envy, feeling wronged, despair, bitterness.
  • I assemble my ideas in pieces on a computer file, then gradually find a place for them on a piece of scaffolding I erect.
  • The problem isn’t so much finding good ideas (there is no shortage) as embedding the ones we have into everyday practice.
  • What kills us isn’t one big thing, but thousands of tiny obligations we can’t turn down for fear of disappointing others.
  • Arguments are like eels: however logical, they may slip from the minds weak grasp unless fixed there by imagery and style.
  • Rather than saying ‘I hate mess’, it might draw more compassion to say, ‘mess terrifies me as a harbinger of catastrophe’.
  • We accept the need to train extensively to fly a plane; but think instinct should be enough for marrying and raising kids.
  • When I see someone like Richard Dawkins, I see my father. I grew up with that. I’m basically the child of Richard Dawkins.
  • The study of maps and the perusal of travel books aroused in me a secret fascination that was at times almost irresistible.
  • Choosing a spouse and a choosing career: the two great decisions for which society refuses to set up institutional guidance.
  • Despite its maddeningly vague, inarticulate form, anxiety is almost always trying to tell you something useful and apposite.
  • Don’t despair: despair suggests you are in total control and know what is coming. You don’t – surrender to events with hope.
  • A great writer picks up on those things that matter. It’s almost like their radar is attuned to the most significant moments.
  • A lump rises in our throat at the sight of beauty from an implicit knowledge that the happiness it hints at is the exception.
  • Love is an incurable disease. In love, there is permanent suffering. Those who love and those who are happy are not the same.
  • Our disrespect for thinking: someone sitting in a chair, gazing out of a window blankly, always described as ‘doing nothing’.
  • For paranoia about ‘what other people think’ : remember that only some hate, a very few love – and almost all just don’t care.
  • The moment we cry in a film is not when things are sad but when they turn out to be more beautiful than we expected them to be.
  • We are all more intelligent than we are capable, and awareness of the insanity of love has never saved anyone from the disease.
  • We may not agree with what religions are trying to teach us, but we can admire the institutional way in which they’re doing it.
  • I know a lot about writing, but I don’t know much about how other industries work. I’ve tried to use my naivety to my advantage.
  • Though debts are condemned in the financial world, the world of friendship and love may perversely depend on well-managed debts.
  • The largest part of what we call ‘personality’ is determined by how we’ve opted to defend ourselves against anxiety and sadness”.
  • Gaffe-focused journalism: revenge of intelligent people who know true evils are out there but lack the access/time to get to them.
  • Journeys are the midwives of thought. Few places are more conducive to internal conversations than moving planes, ships or trains.
  • The company of certain people may excite our generosity and sensitivity, while that of others awakens our competitiveness and envy.
  • After 40 (old age for most of man’s history), one should strive to be more or less packed and ready to go were the end call to come.
  • Distress at losing an object can be as much a frustration at the intellectual mystery of the disappearance as about the loss itself.
  • Most anger stems from feelings of weakness, sadness and fear: hard to remember when one is at the receiving end of its defiant roar.
  • One rarely falls in love without being as much attracted to what is interestingly wrong with someone as what is objectively healthy.
  • Those who divorce aren’t necessarily the most unhappy, just those neatly able to believe their misery is caused by one other person.
  • We often lose our tempers not with those who are actually to blame; just with those who love us enough to forgive us our foul moods.
  • I learnt to stop fantasising about the perfect job or the perfect relationship because that can actually be an excuse for not living.
  • Pegging your contentment to the overall state of the world rather than of your own life: the basis of morality, or a sort of madness?
  • The most unbearable thing about many successful people is not – as we flatteringly think – how lazy they are, but how hard they work.
  • We wanted to test each other’s capacity for survival: only if we had tried in vain to destroy one another would we know we were safe.
  • Do you love me enough that I may be weak with you? Everyone loves strength, but do you love me for my weakness? That is the real test.
  • Unnatural to expect that learning to be happy should be any easier than, say, learning to play the violin or require any less practice.
  • Writing a book has about it some of the anxiety of telling a joke and having to wait several years to know whether or not it was funny.
  • Instead of bringing back 1600 plants, we might return from our journeys with a collection of small unf√™ted but life-enhancing thoughts.
  • It seems the only way to write a half decent book is to worry oneself sick on an hourly basis that one is producing a complete disaster.
  • The pleasure we derive from journeys is perhaps dependent more on the mindset with which we travel than on the destination we travel to.
  • Despite the best efforts of critics and the hopes of authors, our tastes in books are probably as inherent & unbudgeable as those in food.
  • Every realistic picture represents a choice as to which features of reality should be given prominence; no painting ever captures the whole.
  • The desire for high status is never stronger than in situations where “ordinary” life fails to answer a median need for dignity and comfort.
  • We may seek a fortune for no greater reason than to secure the respect and attention of people who would otherwise look straight through us.
  • What is a snob? A snob is anybody who takes a small part of you and uses that to come to a complete vision of who you are. That is snobbery.
  • The price we have paid for expecting to be so much more than our ancestors is a perpetual anxiety that we are far from being all we might be.
  • Our responses to the world are crucially moulded by the company we keep, for we temper our curiosity to fit in with the expectations of others.
  • It would scarcely be acceptable, for example, to ask in the course of an ordinary conversation what our society holds to be the purpose of work.
  • It’s perhaps easier now than ever before to make a good living; it’s perhaps harder than ever before to stay calm, to be free of career anxiety.
  • Responsible for wrapping the iron fist of authority in its velvet glove is Jane Axtell, head of the accountancy firm’s Human Resources department.
  • I think people want to get married to end their emotional uncertainty. In a way, they want to end powerful feelings, or certainly the negative ones.
  • There is a devilishly direct relationship between the significance of an idea and how nervous we become at the prospect of having to think about it.
  • We are continuously challenged to discover new works of culture‚Äîand, in the process, we don’ allow any one of them to assume a weight in our minds.
  • Without sex, we would be dangerously invulnerable. We might believe we were not ridiculous. We wouldn’t know rejection and humiliation so intimately.
  • It is no coincidence that the Western attraction to sublime landscapes developed at precisely the moment when traditional beliefs in God began to wane.
  • Our sense of what is valuable will hence be radically distorted if we must perpetually condemn as tedious everything we lack, simply because we lack it.
  • Religions are so subtle, so complicated, so intelligent in many ways that they’re not fit to be abandoned to the religious alone; they’re for all of us.
  • I’m also interested in the modern suggestion that you can have a combination of love and sex in a marriage – which no previous society has ever believed.
  • What we seek, at the deepest level, is inwardly to resemble, rather than physically to possess, the objects and places that touch us through their beauty.
  • Booksellers are the most valuable destination for the lonely, given the numbers of books that were written because authors couldn’t find anyone to talk to.
  • All tours are filled with humiliation. My publisher once hired a private jet to fly me to a venue where 1,000 people were waiting. It almost bankrupted him.
  • It is perhaps sad books that best console us when we are sad, and to lonely service stations that we should drive when there is no one for us to hold or love.
  • Philosophy had supplied Socrates with convictions in which he had been able to have rational, as opposed to hysterical, confidence when faced with disapproval.
  • Every adult life could be said to be defined by two great love stories: the story of our quest for sexual love and the story of our quest for love from the world.
  • It should not be Illiers-Combray that we visit: a genuine homage to Proust would be to look at our world through his eyes, not look at his world through our eyes.
  • Literature deserves its prestige for one reason above all others – because it’s a tool to help us live and die with a little bit more wisdom, goodness, and sanity.
  • There is a longing for a return to a time without the need for choices, free of the regret at the inevitable loss that all choice (however wonderful) has entailed.
  • When you look at the Moon, you think, ‚ÄòI’m really small. What are my problems?’ It sets things into perspective. We should all look at the Moon a bit more often.
  • The universe is large and we are tiny, without the need for further religious superstructure. One can have so-called spiritual moments without belief in the spirit.
  • It is in books, poems, paintings which often give us the confidence to take seriously feelings in ourselves that we might otherwise never have thought to acknowledge.
  • We don’t really learn anything properly until there is a problem, until we are in pain, until something fails to go as we had hoped … We suffer, therefore we think.
  • Newspapers are being read all around. The point is not, of course, to glean new information, but rather to coax the mind out of its sleep-induced introspective temper.
  • Curiosity takes ignorance seriously – and is confident enough to admit when it’s in the dark. It is aware of not knowing. And then it sets out to do something about it.
  • The activities of drawing, eating and drinking, all involve assimilations by the self of desirable elements from the world, a transfer of goodness from without to within.
  • The lesson? To respond to the unexpected and hurtful behavior of others with something more than a wipe of the glasses, to see it as a chance to expand our understanding.
  • Man seems merely dust postponed: the sublime as an encounter – pleasurable, intoxicating, even – with human weakness in the face of strength, age and size of the universe.
  • The mind may be reluctant to think properly when thinking is all it is supposed to do; the task can be as paralysing as having to tell a joke or mimic an accent on demand.
  • There is real danger of a disconnect between what’s on your business card and who you are deep inside, and it’s not a disconnect that the world is ready to be patient with.
  • We envy only those whom we feel ourselves to be like; we envy only members of our reference group. There are few successes more unendurable than those of our close friends.
  • Taking photographs can assuage the itch for possession sparked by the beauty of a place; our anxiety over losing a precious scene can decline with every click of the shutter.
  • Rage is caused by a conviction, almost comic in its optimistic origins (however tragic in its effects), that a given frustration has not been written into the contract of life.
  • We should read other people’s books in order to learn what we feel; it is our own thoughts we should be developing, even if it is another writer’s thought that help us to do so.
  • Status anxiety definitely exists at a political level. Many Iraqis were annoyed with the US essentially for reasons of status: for not showing them respect, for humiliating them.
  • We used to build temples, and museums are about as close as secular society dares to go in facing up to the idea that a good building can change your life (and a bad one ruin it).
  • I passionately believe that’s it’s not just what you say that counts, it’s also how you say it – that the success of your argument critically depends on your manner of presenting it.
  • It would be foolish to describe the logistics hub as merely ugly, for it has the horrifying, soulless, immaculate beauty characteristic of many of the workplaces of the modern world.
  • A world where a majority had imbibed the lessons implicit within tragic art would be one in which the consequences of our failures would necessarily cease to weigh upon us so heavily.
  • If our lives are dominated by a search for happiness, then perhaps few activities reveal as much about the dynamics of this quest – in all its ardour and paradoxes – than our travels.
  • It was no longer her absence that wounded me, but my growing indifference to it. Forgetting, however calming, was also a reminder of infidelity to what I had at one time held so dear.
  • Curiosity might be pictured as being made up of chains of small questions extending outwards, sometimes over huge distances, from a central hub composed of a few blunt, large questions.
  • Socrates, on being insulted in the marketplace, asked by a passerby, “Don’t you worry about being called names?” retorted, “Why? Do you think I should resent it if an ass had kicked me?
  • I am conscious of trying to stretch the boundaries of non-fiction writing. It’s always surprised me how little attention many non-fiction writers pay to the formal aspects of their work.
  • Social media has lots of benefits, but compared to Christianity, it tends to group people by interests. Religion puts you with people who have nothing in common except that you’re human.
  • He did not mean to depress us, rather to free us from expectations which inspire bitterness. It is consoling, when love has let us down, to hear that happiness was never part of the plan.
  • As an atheist, I think there are lots of things religions get up to which are of value to non-believers – and one of those things is trying to be a bit better than we normally manage to be.
  • It seems that most of us could benefit from a brush with a near-fatal disaster to help us recognise the important things that we are too defeated or embittered to recognise from day to day.
  • The very act of drawing an object, however badly, swiftly takes the drawer from a woolly sense of what the object looks like to a precise awareness of its component parts and particularities.
  • A dominant impulse on encountering beauty is to wish to hold on to it, to possess it and give it weight in one’s life. There is an urge to say, ‚ÄòI was here, I saw this and it mattered to me.
  • There are selections so acute that they come to define a place, with the result that we can no longer travel through that landscape without being reminded of what a great artist noticed there.
  • The arrogance that says analysing the relationship between reasons and causes is more important than writing a philosophy of shyness or sadness or friendship drives me nuts. I can’t accept that.
  • The degree of sympathy we feel regarding another’s fiasco is directly proportional to how easy or difficult it is for us to imagine ourselves, under like circumstances, making a similar mistake.
  • How do the stems connect to the roots?’ ‘Where is the mist coming from?’ ‘Why does one tree seem darker than another?’ These questions are implicitly asked and answered in the process of sketching.
  • On paper, being good sounds great but a lot depends on the atmosphere of the workplace or community we live in. We tend to become good or bad depending on the cues sent out within a particular space.
  • The real issue is not whether baking biscuits is meaningful, but the extent to which the activity can seem to be so after it has been continuously stretched and subdivided across five thousand lives.
  • Art cannot single-handedly create enthusiasm… it merely contributes to enthusiasm and guides us to be more conscious of feelings that we might previously have experienced only tentatively or hurriedly.
  • The most attractive are not those who allow us to kiss them at once [we soon feel ungrateful] or those who never allow us to kiss them [we soon forget them], but those who coyly lead us between the two extremes.
  • He was marked out by his relentless ability to find fault with others’ mediocrity – suggesting that a certain type of intelligence may be at heart nothing more or less than a superior capacity for dissatisfaction.
  • By travelling across frontiers, on horseback and in the imagination, Montaigne invited us to to exchange local prejudices and the self division they induced for less constraining identities as citizens of the world.
  • It’s as though either you accept [religious] doctrine and then you can have all the nice stuff, or you reject the doctrine and you’re living in some kind of spiritual wasteland under the guidance of CNN and Walmart.
  • According to Montaigne, it was the oppressive notion that we had complete mental control over our bodies, and the horror of departing from this portrait of normality, that had left the man unable to perform sexually.
  • We are sensitized by the books we read. And the more books we read, and the deeper their lessons sink into us, the more pairs of glasses we have. And those glasses enable us to see things we would have otherwise missed.
  • In Britain, because I live here, I can also run into problems of envy and competition. But all this is just in a day’s work for a writer. You can’t put stuff out there without someone calling you a complete fool. Oh, well.
  • The inability to live in the present lies in the fear of leaving the sheltered position of anticipation or memory, and so of admitting that this is the only life that one is ever likely (heavenly intervention aside) to live.
  • If it is true that love is the pursuit in another of qualities we lack in ourselves, then in our love of someone from another culture, one ambition may be to weld ourselves more closely to values missing from our own culture.
  • Let’s say you went to Harvard or Oxford or Cambridge, and you said, ‘I’ve come here because I’m in search of morality, guidance and consolation; I want to know how to live,’ – they would show you the way to the insane asylum.
  • Endeavoring to purchase something we think beautiful may in fact be the most unimaginative way of dealing with the longing it excites in us, just as trying to sleep with someone may be the bluntest response to a feeling of love.
  • It’s very hard to respect people on holiday – everybody looks so silly at the beach, it makes you hate humanity – but when you see people at their work they elicit respect, whether it’s a mechanic, a stonemason or an accountant.
  • Because the rhythm of conversation makes no allowance for dead periods, because the presence of others calls for continuous responses, we are left to regret the inanity of what we say, and the missed opportunity of what we do not.
  • Pick up any newspaper or magazine, open the TV, and you’ll be bombarded with suggestions of how to have a successful life. Some of these suggestions are deeply unhelpful to our own projects and priorities – and we should take care.
  • The dream of the news is that it makes us care about other people and situations. But we cannot identify with people to whom we haven’t been introduced. Humans will only respond to art, to people who are skilled in making you care.
  • A danger of travel is that we see things at the wrong time, before we have had a chance to build up the necessary receptivity and when new information is therefore as useless and fugitive as necklace beads without a connecting chain.
  • Life gives us no such handy markers – a storm comes, and far from this being a harbinger of death and collapse, during its course a person discovers love and truth, beauty and happiness, the rain lashing at the windows all the while.
  • Perhaps it is true that we do not really exist until there is someone there to see us existing, we cannot properly speak until there is someone who can understand what we are saying in essence, we are not wholly alive until we are loved.
  • When work is not going well, it’s useful to remember that our identities stretch beyond what is on the business card, that we were people long before we became workers – and will continue to be human once we have put our tools down forever.
  • If we are inclined to forget how much there is in the world besides that which we anticipate, then works of art are perhaps a little to blame, for in them we find at work the same process of simplification or selection as in the imagination.
  • The more closely we analyze what we consider ‘sexy,’ the more clearly we will understand that eroticism is the feeling of excitement we experience at finding another human being who shares our values and our sense of the meaning of existence.
  • To be shown love is to feel ourselves the object of concern: our presence is noted, our name is registered, our views are listened to, our failings are treated with indulgence and our needs are ministered to. And under such care, we flourish.
  • The problem is if you really believe in a society where those who merit to get to the top, get to the top, you’ll also, by implication‚ believe in a society where those who deserve to get to the bottom also get to the bottom and stay there.
  • We are sad at home and blame the weather and the ugliness of the buildings, but on the tropical island we learn that the state of the skies and the appearance of our dwellings can never on their own underwrite our joy nor condemn us to misery.
  • There are people who say, ‘Oh this guy is quite thick.’ I think the reason is that, increasingly, I don’t mind being simple in terms of literary expression. Others say, ‘No, no, no. He went to Cambridge. He got a good degree. He must be Einstein.’
  • Sweetness is the opposite of machismo, which is everywhere-and I really don’t get on with machismo. I’m interested in sensitivity, and weakness, and fear, and anxiety, because I think that, at the end of the day, behind our masks, that’s what we are.
  • It is not necessarily at home that we best encounter our true selves. The furniture insists that we cannot change because it does not; the domestic setting keeps us tethered to the person we are in ordinary life, who may not be who we essentially are.
  • Our minds are susceptible to the influence of external voices telling us what we require to be satisfied, voices that may drown out the faint sounds emitted by our souls and distract us from the careful, arduous task of accurately naming our priorities.
  • Taking architecture seriously therefore makes some singular and strenuous demands upon us…It means conceding that we are inconveniently vulnerable to the colour of our wallpaper and that our sense of purpose may be derailed by an unfortunate bedspread
  • Rather than employing it as a supplement to active, conscious seeing, they used the medium as a substitute, paying less attention to the world than they had done previously, taking it on faith that photography automatically assured them possession of it.
  • To cut out every negative root would simultaneously mean choking off positive elements that might arise from it further up the stem of the plant. We should not feel embarrassed by our difficulties, only by our failure to grow anything beautiful from them.
  •  
  • We are presented with an unpleasant choice between either committing to peculiar concepts about immaterial deities or letting go entirely of a host of consoling, subtle or just charming rituals for which we struggle to find equivalents in secular society.
  •  
  • what we call a home is merely any place that succeeds in making more consistenly available to us the important truths which the wider world ignores, or which our distracted and irresolute selves have trouble holding onto.” (p123) Architecture of Happiness
  •  
  • Serious journalists often imagine society is adrift because people don’t know certain things. Yet often, they know but just don’t care. So the task of serious journalism isn’t just to lay out truths. It is to make vital truths compelling to a big audience.
  • I am in general a very pessimistic person with an optimistic, day to day take on things. The bare facts of life are utterly terrifying. And yet, one can laugh. Indeed, one has to laugh precisely because of the darkness: the nervous laughter of the trenches.
  • It is not just nature that defies us. Human life is as overwhelming… If we spend time in it [the vast spaces of nature], they may help us to accept more graciously the great, unfathomable events that molest our lives and will inevitably return us to dust.
  • We are certainly influenced by role models, and if we are surrounded by images of beautiful rich people, we will start to think that to be beautiful and rich is very important – just as in the Middle Ages, people were surrounded by images of religious piety.
  • Our jobs make relentless calls on a narrow band of our faculties, reducing our chances of achieving rounded personalities and leaving us to suspect (often in the gathering darkness of a Sunday evening) that much of who we are, or could be, has gone unexplored.
  • The longing for a destiny is no nowhere stronger than in our romantic life. All too often forced to share our bed with those who cannot fathom our soul, can we not be forgiven if we believe ourselves fated to stumble one day upon the man or woman of our dreams.
  • to design means forcing ourselves to unlearn what we believe we already know, patiently to take apart the mechanisms behind our reflexes and to acknowledge the mystery and stupefying complexity of everyday gestures like switching off a light of turning on a tap
  • Her lie was symptomatic of a certain pride she took in mocking the romantic, in being unsentimental, matter-of-fact, stoic; yet at heart she was the oppo site: idealistic, dreamy, giving, and deeply attached to everything she liked verbally to dismiss as “mushy.
  • Our capacity to draw happiness from aesthetic objects or material goods in fact seems critically dependent on our first satisfying a more important range of emotional or psychological needs, among them the need for understanding, for love, expression and respect.
  • Wealth is not an absolute. It is relative to desire. Every time we yearn for something we cannot afford, we grow poorer, whatever our resources. And every time we feel satisfied with what we have, we can be counted as rich, however little we may actually possess.
  • Year-end financial statements express a truth about office life which is no less irrefutable yet also, in the end, no less irrelevant or irritating than an evolutionary biologist’s proud reminder that the purpose of existence lies in the propagation of our genes.
  • I thought about societies where exceptional fortunes are built up in industries with very little connection to out sincere and significant needs, industries where it is difficult to escape from the disparity between a seriousness of means and a triviality of ends.
  • These inventors were elevating the formulation of entrepreneurial ideas to the status of a visionary activity. Though forced to justify their efforts in the pragmatic language of venture capital, they were at heart utopian thinkers intent on transforming the world.
  • Out of the millions of people we live among, most of whom we habitually ignore and are ignored by in turn, there are always a few that hold hostage our capacity for happiness, whom we could recognize by their smell alone and whom we would rather die than be without.
  • The Arab-Israeli conflict is also in many ways a conflict about status: it’s a war between two peoples who feel deeply humiliated by the other, who want the other to respect them. Battles over status can be even more intractable than those over land or water or oil.
  • We each appear to hold within ourselves a range of divergent views as to our native qualities.. And amid such uncertainty, we typically turn to the wider world to settle the question of our significance.. we seem beholden to affections of others to endure ourselves.
  • The architects who benefit us most maybe those generous enough to lay aside their claims to genius in order to devote themselves to assembling graceful but predominantly unoriginal boxes. Architecture should have the confidence and the kindness to be a little boring.
  • Our homes do not have to offer us permanent occupancy or store our clothes to merit the name. To speak of home in relation to a building is simply to recognise its harmony with our own prized internal song. Home can be an airport or a library, a garden or a motorway diner.
  • In the works of Lucretius, we find two reasons why we shouldn’t worry about death. If you have had a successful life, Lucretius tell us, there’s no reason to mind its end. And, if you haven’t had a good time, “Why do you seek to add more years, which would also pass but ill?”
  • One of our major flaws, and causes of unhappiness, is that we find it hard to take note of appreciate and be grateful for what is always around us. We suffer because we lose sight of the value of what is before us and yearn, often unfairly, for the imagined attraction elsewhere.
  • The happiness that may emerge from taking a second look is central to Proust’s therapeutic conception. It reveals the extent to which our dissatisfactions may be the result of failing to look properly at our lives rather than the result of anything inherently deficient about them.
  • Literature deeply stands opposed to the dominant value system-the one that rewards money and power. Writers are on the other side-they make us sympathetic to ideas and feelings that are of deep importance but can’ afford airtime in a commercialized, status-consciou s, and cynical world.
  • Sublime places repeat in grand terms a lesson that ordinary life typically teaches viciously: that the universe is mightier than we are, that we are frail and temporary and have no alternative but to accept limitations on our will; that we must bow to necessities greater than ourselves.
  • We need objects to remind us of the commitments we’ve made. That carpet from Morocco reminds us of the impulsive, freedom-loving side of ourselves we’re in danger of losing touch with. Beautiful furniture gives us something to live up to. All designed objects are propaganda for a way of life.
  • Being incomprehensible offers unparalleled protection against having nothing to say…but writing with simplicity requires courage, for there is a danger that one will be overlooked, dismissed as simpleminded by those with a tenacious belief that the impassable prose is a hallmark of intelligence.
  • It is in dialogue with pain that many beautiful things acquire their value. Acquaintance with grief turns out to be one of the more unusual prerequisites of architectural appreciation. We might, quite aside from all other requirements, need to be a little sad before buildings can properly touch us.
  • For all his understanding of worldly concerns, when it came to fathoming the deeper meaning of his own furious activity, Sir Bob displayed the sort of laziness for which he himself had no patience in others. He appeared to have only a passing interest in the overall purpose of his financial accumulation.
  • I was foreign and Jewish, with a funny name, and was very small and hated sport, a real problem at an English prep school. So the way to get round it was to become the school joker, which I did quite effectively – I was always fooling around to make the people who would otherwise dump me in the loo laugh.
  • The true nature of bureaucracy may be nowhere more obvious to the observer than in a developing country, for only there will it still be made manifest by the full complement of documents, files, veneered desks and cabinets – which convey the strict and inverse relationship between productivity and paperwork.
  • The attentions of others matter to us because we are afflicted by a congenital uncertainty as to our own value, as a result of which affliction we tend to allow others’ appraisals to play a determining role in how we see ourselves. Our sense of identity is held captive by the judgements of those we live among.
  • There is psychological pleasure in this takeoff, too, for the swiftness of the plane’s ascent is an exemplary symbol of transformation. The display of power can inspire us to imagine analogous, decisive shifts in our own lives, to imagine that we, too, might one day surge above much that now looms over us.‚Äù P. 38-39
  • Objectively good spaces to work rarely end up being so; in their faultlessness, quiet and well-equipped studios have a habit of rendering the fear of failure overwhelming. Original thoughts are like shy animals. We sometimes have to look the other way – towards a busy street or terminal – before they run out of their burrows.
  • Bad architecture is in the end as much a failure of psychology as of design. It is an example expressed through materials of the same tendencies which in other domains will lead us to marry the wrong people, choose inappropriate jobs and book unsuccessful holidays: the tendency not to understand who we are and what will satisfy us.
  • The more familiar two people become, the more the language they speak together departs from that of the ordinary, dictionary-defined discourse. Familiarity creates a new language, an in-house language of intimacy that carries reference to the story the two lovers are weaving together and that cannot be readily understood by others.
  • We feel something, and reach out for the nearest phrase or hum with which to communicate, but which fails to do justice to what has induced us to do so….We stay on the outside of our impressions, as if staring at them through a frosted window, superficially related to them, yet estranged from whatever has eluded casual definition.
  • One wants never to give up this crystalline perspective. One wants to keep counterpositioning home with what one knows of alternative realities, as they exist in Tunis or Hyderabad. One wants never to forget that nothing here is normal, that the streets are different in Wisebaden, and Louyang, that this is just one of many possible worlds.
  • We need a home in the psychological sense as much as we need one in the physical: to compensate for a vulnerability. We need a refuge to shore up our states of mind, because so much of the world is opposed to our allegiances. We need our rooms to align us to desirable versions of ourselves and to keep alive the important, evanescent sides of us.
  • William James once made an acute point about the relationship between happiness and expectation. He argued that satisfaction with ourselves does not require us to succeed in every endeavour. We are not always humiliated by failing; we are humiliated only if we first invest our pride and sense of worth in a given achievement and then do not reach it.
  • At the beginning of human history, as we struggled to light fires and to chisel fallen trees into rudimentary canoes, who could have predicted that long after we had managed to send men to the moon and areoplanes to Australasia, we would still have such trouble knowing how to tolerate ourselves, forgive our loved ones, and apologise for our tantrums?
  • Status Anxiety: A worry, so pernicious as to be capable of ruining extended stretches of our lives, that we are in danger of failing to conform to the ideals of success laid down by our society and that we may as a result be stripped of dignity and respect; a worry that we are currently occupying too modest a rung or are about to fall to a lower one.
  • Unrequited love may be painful, but it is safely painful, because it does not involve inflicting damage on anyone but oneself, a private pain that is as bittersweet as it is self-induced. But as soon as love is reciprocated, one must be prepared to give up the passivity of simply being hurt and take on the responsibility of perpetrating hurt oneself.
  • Differ though we might with Christianity’s view of what precisely our souls need, it is hard to discredit the provocative underlying thesis, which seems no less relevant in the secular realm than in the religious one-that we have within us a precious, childlike, vulnerable core which we should nourish and nurture on its turbulent journey through life.
  • The origins and travels of our purchases remain matters of indifference, although to the more imaginative at least a slight dampness at the bottom of a carton, or an obscure code printed along a computer cable, may hint at processes of manufacture and transport nobler and more mysterious, more worthy of wonder and study, than the very goods themselves.
  • We tend to believe in the modern secular world that if you tell someone something once, they’ll remember it. … Religions go, “Nonsense. You need to keep repeating the lesson 10 times a day. So get on your knees and repeat it.” That’s what all religions tell us: “Get on your knees and repeat it 10 or 20 or 15 times a day.” Otherwise our minds are like sieves.
  • It looks like it’s wasting time, but literature is actually the ultimate time-saver – because it gives us access to a range of emotions and events that it would take you years, decades, millennia to try to experience directly. Literature is the greatest reality simulator – a machine that puts you through infinitely more situations than you can ever directly witness.
  • The problem with clich√©s is not that they contain false ideas, but rather that they are superficial articulations of very good ones…If…we are obliged to create our own language, it is because there are dimensions to ourselves absent from clich√©s, which require us to flout etiquette in order to convey with greater accuracy the distinctive timbre of our thought.
  • We fall in love because we long to escape from ourselves with someone as beautiful, intelligent, and witty as we are ugly, stupid, and dull. But what if such a perfect being should one day turn around and decide they will love us back? We can only be somewhat shocked-how can they be as wonderful as we had hoped when they have the bad taste to approve of someone like us?
  • It seems, in fact, that the more advanced a society is, the greater will be its interest in ruined things, for it will see in them a redemptively sobering reminder of the fragility of its own achievements. Ruins pose a direct challenge to our concern with power and rank, with bustle and fame. They puncture the inflated folly of our exhaustive and frenetic pursuit of wealth.
  • Philosophy, art, politics, religion and bohemia have never sought to do away entirely with the status hierarchy; they have attemptee, rather, to institute new kinds of hierarchies based on sets of values unrecognised by, and critical of, those of the majority.. They have provided us with persuasive and consoling reminders that there is more than one way of succeeding in life.
  • There are things that are not spoken about in polite society. Very quickly in most conversations you’ll reach a moment where someone goes, ‘Oh, that’s a bit heavy,’ or ‘Eew, disgusting.’ And literature is a place where that stuff goes; where people whisper to each other across books, the writer to the reader. I think that stops you feeling lonely ‚Äì in the deeper sense, lonely.
  • .. if you asked most people whether they believed in love or not, they’d probably say they didn’t. Yet that’s not necessarily what they truly think. It’s just the way they defend themselves against what they want. They believe in it, but pretend they don’t until they’re allowed to. Most people would throw away all their cynicism if they could. The majority just never gets the chance.
  • According to one influential wing of modern secular society there are few more disreputable fates than to end up being ‘like everyone else’ for ‘everyone else’ is a category that comprises the mediocre and the conformist, the boring and the suburban. The goal of all right-thinking people should be to mark themselves off from the crowd and ‘stand out’ in whatever way their talents allow.
  • We are tempted to believe that certain achievements and possessions will give us enduring satisfaction. We are invited to imagine ourselves scaling the steep cliff face of happiness in order to reach a wide, high plateau on which we will live out the rest of our lives; we are not reminded that soon after gaining the summit, we will be called down again into fresh lowlands of anxiety and desire.
  • Life seems to be a process of replacing one anxiety with another and substituting one desire for another–which is not to say that we should never strive to overcome any of our anxieties or fulfil any of our desires, but rather to suggest that we should perhaps build into our strivings an awareness of the way our goals promise us a respite and a resolution that they cannot, by definition, deliver.
  • Blind impatience is equally evident in the fruit section. Our ancestors might have delighted in the occasional handful of berries found on the underside of a bush in late summer, viewing it as a sign of the unexpected munificence of a divine creator, but we became modern when we gave up on awaiting sporadic gifts from above and sought to render any pleasing sensation immediately and repeatedly available.
  • Our sadness won’ be of the searing kind but more like a blend of joy and melancholy: joy at the perfection we see before us, melancholy at an awareness of how seldom we are sufficiently blessed to encounter anything of its kind. The flawless object throws into perspective the mediocrity that surrounds it. We are reminded of the way we would wish things always to be and of how incomplete our lives remain.
  • He was a volatile mixture of confidence and vulnerability. He could deliver extended monologues on professional matters, then promptly stop in his tracks to peer inquisitively into his guest’s eyes for signs of boredom or mockery, being intelligent enough to be unable fully to believe in his own claims to significance. He might, in a past life, have been a particularly canny and sharp-tongued royal advisor.
  • In reality, the likelihood of reaching the pinnacle of capitalist society today is only marginally better than were the chances of being accepted into the French nobility four centuries ago, though at least an aristocratic age was franker, and therefore kinder, about the odds. It did not relentlessly play up the possibilities open to all, and so, in turn, did not cruelly equate an ordinary life with a failed one.
  • No one is able to produce a great work of art without experience, nor achieve a worldly position immediately, nor be a great lover at the first attempt; and in the interval between initial failure and subsequent success, in the gap between who we wish one day to be and who we are at present, must come pain, anxiety, envy and humiliation. We suffer because we cannot spontaneously master the ingredients of fulfillment.
  • The pre-scientific age, whatever its deficiencies, had at least offered its members the peace of mind that follows from knowing all man-made achievements to be nothing next to the grandeur of the universe. We, more blessed in our gadgetry but less humble in our outlook, have been left… having no more compelling repository of veneration than our brilliant, precise, blinkered and morally troubling fellow human beings.
  • [T]he unsympathetic assessments we make of others are usually the result of nothing more sinister than our habit of looking at them in the wrong way, through lenses clouded by distraction, exhaustion and fear, which blind us to the fact that they are really, despite a thousand differences, just altered versions of ourselves: fellow fragile, uncertain, flawed beings likewise craving love and in urgent need of forgiveness.
  • If cynicism and love lie at opposite ends of a spectrum, do we not sometimes fall in love in order to escape the debilitating cynicism to which we are prone? Is there not in every coup de foudre a certain willful exaggeration of the qualities of the beloved, an exaggeration which distracts us from our habitual pessimism and focuses our energies on someone in whom we can believe in a way we have never believed in ourselves?
  • We don’t exist unless there is someone who can see us existing, what we say has no meaning until someone can understand, while to be surrounded by friends is constantly to have our identity confirmed; their knowledge and care for us have the power to pull us from our numbness. In small comments, many of them teasing, they reveal they know our foibles and except them and so, in turn, accept that we have a place in the world.
  • It is the most ambitious and driven among us who are the most sorely in need of having our reckless hopes dampened through immersive dousings in the darkness which religions have explored. This is a particular priority for secular Americans, perhaps the most anxious and disappointed people on earth, for their nation infuses them with the most extreme hopes about what they may be able to achieve in their working lives and relationships.
  • What I want to argue for is not that we should give up on our ideas of success, but that we should make sure that they are our own. We should focus in on our ideas and make sure that we own them, that we’re truly the authors of our own ambitions. Because it’s bad enough not getting what you want, but it’s even worse to have an idea of what it is you want and find out at the end of the journey that it isn’t, in fact, what you wanted all along.
  • It seemed an advantage to be traveling alone. Our responses to the world are crucially moulded by the company we keep, for we temper our curiosity to fit in with the expectations of others…Being closely observed by a companion can also inhibit our observation of others; then, too, we may become caught up in adjusting ourselves to the companion’s questions and remarks, or feel the need to make ourselves seem more normal than is good for our curiosity.
  • We depend on our surroundings obliquely to embody the moods and ideas we respect and then to remind us of them. We look to our buildings to hold us, like a kind of psychological mould, to a helpful vision of ourselves. We arrange around us material forms which communicate to us what we need ‚Äî but are at constant risk of forgetting what we need ‚Äî within. We turn to wallpaper, benches, paintings and streets to staunch the disappearance of our true selves.
  • Symons remarked that the most common and unhelpful illusion plaguing those who came to see him was the idea that they ought somehow, in the normal course of events, to have intuited long before they had finished their degrees, started families, bought houses and risen to the top of law firms – what they should properly be doing with their lives. They were tormented by a residual notion of having through some error or stupidity on their part missed out on their true calling.
  • The bourgeois thinkers of the eighteenth century thus turned Aristotle’s formula on its head: satisfactions which the Greek philosopher had identified with leisure were now transposed to the sphere of work, while tasks lacking in any financial reward were drained of all significance and left to the haphazard attentions of decadent dilettantes. It now seemed as impossible that one could be happy and unproductive as it had once seemed unlikely that one could work and be human.
  • An understandable hunger for potential clients tempts many [career counseling therapists] to overpromise, like creative writing teachers who, out of greed or sentimentality, sometimes imply that all of their students could one day produce worthwhile literature, rather than frankly acknowledging the troubling truth, anathema to a democratic society, that the great writer, like the contented worker, remains an erratic and anomalous event, immune to the methods of factory farming.
  • It is this idea ‘decency’ should be attached to wealth -and ‘indecency” to poverty – that forms the core of one strand of skeptical complaint against the modern status-ideal. Why should failure to make money be taken as a sign of an unconditionally flawed human being rather than of a fiasco in one particular area if the far larger, more multifaceted, project of leading a good life? Why should both wealth and poverty be read as the predominant guides to an individual’s morals ?
  • Perhaps the easiest people to fall in love with are those about whom we know nothing. Romances are never as pure as those we imagine during long train journeys, as we secretly contemplate a beautiful person who is gazing out of the window ‚Äì a perfect love story interrupted only when the beloved looks back into the carriage and starts up a dull conversation about the excessive price of the on-board sandwiches with a neighbour or blows her nose aggressively into a handkerchief.
  • If the behaviour of babies and small children is any guide, we emerge into the world with our tendencies to imbalance already well entrenched. In our playpens and high chairs, we are rarely far from displaying either hysterical happiness or savage disappointment, love or rage, mania or exhaustion–and, despite the growth of a more temperate exterior in adulthood, we seldom succeed in laying claim to lasting equilibrium, traversing our lives like stubbornly listing ships on choppy seas.
  • Most of us stand poised at the edge of brilliance, haunted by the knowledge of our proximity, yet still demonstrably on the wrong side of the line, our dealings with reality undermined by a range of minor yet critical psychological flaws (a little too much optimism, an unprocessed rebelliousness, a fatal impatience or sentimentality). We are like an exquisite high-speed aircraft which for lack of a tiny part is left stranded beside the runway, rendered slower than a tractor or bicycle.
  • Perhaps because the origins of a certain kind of love lie in an impulse to escape ourselves and out weaknesses by an alliance with the beautiful and noble. But if the loved ones love us back, we are forced to return to ourselves, and are hence reminded of the things that had driven us into love in the first place. Perhaps it was not love we wanted after all, perhaps it was simply someone in whom to believe, but how can we continue to believe the the beloved now that they believe in us?
  • That said, deciding to avoid other people does not necessarily equate with having no desire whatsoever for company; it may simply reflect a dissatisfaction with what‚Äîor who‚Äîis available. Cynics are, in the end, only idealists with awkwardly high standards. In Chamfort’s words, ‘It is sometimes said of a man who lives alone that he does not like society. This is like saying of a man that he does not like going for walks because he is not fond of walking at night in the for√™t de Bondy.
  • The assumption is that life doesn’t need to be navigated with lessons. You can just do it intuitively. After all, you only need to achieve autonomy from your parents, find a moderately satisfying job, form a relationship, perhaps raise some children, watch the onset of mortality in your parents’ generation and eventually in your own, until one day a fatal illness starts gnawing at your innards and you calmly go to the grave, shut the coffin and are done with the self-evident business of life.
  • If optimism is important, it’s because many outcomes are determined by how much of it we bring to the task. It is an important ingredient of success. This flies in the face of the elite view that talent is the primary requirement of a good life, but in many cases the difference between success and failure is determined by nothing more than our sense of what is possible and the energy we can muster to convince others of our due. We might be doomed not by a lack of skill, but by an absence of hope!
  • We might have been ready to offer sympathy, but in actuality there were stronger reasons to want to congratulate her for having found such a powerful motive to feel sad. We should have envied her for having located someone without whom she so firmly felt she could not survive, beyond the gate let along in a bare student bedroom in a suburb of Rio. If she had been able to view her situation from a sufficient distance, she might have been able to recognise this as one of the high points in her life.
  • In the oasis complex, the thirsty man images he sees water, palm trees, and shade not because he has evidence for the belief, but because he has a need for it. Desperate needs bring about a hallucination of their solution: thirst hallucinates water, the need for love hallucinates a prince or princess. The oasis complex is never a complete delusion: the man in the desert does see something on the horizon. It is just that the palms have withered, the well is dry, and the place is infected with locusts.
  • Journeys are the midwives of thought. Few places are more conducive to internal conversations than a moving plane, ship or train. There is an almost quaint correlation between what is in front of our eyes and the thoughts we are able to have in our heads: large thoughts at times requiring large views, new thoughts new places. Introspective reflections which are liable to stall are helped along by the flow of the landscape. The mind may be reluctant to think properly when thinking is all it is supposed to do.
  • To be loved by someone is to realize how much they share the same needs that lie at the heart of our own attraction to them. Albert Camus suggested that we fall in love with people because, from the outside, they look so whole, physically whole and emotionally ‘together’ – when subjectively we feel dispersed and confused. We would not love if there were no lack within us, but we are offended by the discovery of a similar lack in the other. Expecting to find the answer, we find only the duplicate of our own problem.
  • People who hold important positions in society are commonly labelled “somebodies,” and their inverse “nobodies”-both of which are, of course, nonsensical descriptors, for we are all, by necessity, individuals with distinct identities and comparable claims on existence. Such words are nevertheless an apt vehicle for conveying the disparate treatment accorded to different groups. Those without status are all but invisible: they are treated brusquely by others, their complexities trampled upon and their singularities ignored.
  • Rather than teasing the buyers, we may blame the society in which they lived for setting up a situation where the purchase of ornate cabinets felt psychologically necessary and rewarding, where respect was dependent on baroque displays. Rather than a tale of greed, the history of luxury could more accurately be read as a record of emotional trauma. It is the legacy of those who have felt pressured by the disdain of others to add an extraordinary amount to their bare selves in order to signal that they too may lay a claim to love.
  • Someone who has thought rationally and deeply about how the body works is likely to arrive at better ideas about how to be healthy than someone who has followed a hunch. Medicine presupposes a hierarchy between the confusion the layperson will be in about what is wrong with him, and the more accurate knowledge available to doctors reasoning logically. At the heart of Epicureanism is the thought that we are as bad at answering the question “What will make me happy?” as “What will make me healthy?” Our souls do not spell out their troubles.
  • Every fall into love involves the triumph of hope over self-knowledge. We fall in love hoping we won’t find in another what we know is in ourselves, all the cowardice, weakness, laziness, dishonesty, compromise, and stupidity. We throw a cordon of love around the chosen one and decide that everything within it will somehow be free of our faults. We locate inside another a perfection that eludes us within ourselves, and through our union with the beloved hope to maintain (against the evidence of all self-knowledge) a precarious faith in our species.
  • Nowhere was the airport’s charm more concentrated than on the screens placed at intervals across the terminal which announced, in deliberately workmanlike fonts, the itineraries of aircraft about to take to the skies. These screens implied a feeling of infinite and immediate possibility: they suggested the ease with which we might impulsively approach a ticket desk and, within a few hours, embark for a country where the call to prayer rang out over shuttered whitewashed houses, where we understood nothing of the language and where no one knew our identities.
  • I never wavered in my certainty that God did not exist. I was simply liberated by the thought that there might be a way to engage with religion without having to subscribe to its supernatural content – a way, to put it in more abstract terms, to think about Fathers without upsetting my respectful memory of my own father. I recognized that my continuing resistance to theories of an afterlife or of heavenly residents was no justification for giving up on the music, buildings, prayers, rituals, feasts, shrines, pilgrimages, communal meals and illustrated manuscripts of the faiths.

 

 

Elisabeth Kübler-Ross (quotes)

Quotes by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

  • Death is the great transition.
  • Beautiful people do not just happen.
  • Our only purpose in life is growth.
  • I’m going to dance in all the galaxies.
  • Negativity can only feed on negativity.
  • The truth does not need to be defended.
  • Fear and Guilt are the only enemies of man.
  • How do the geese know when to fly to the sun?
  • I’m not okay, you’re not okay, and that’s okay.
  • There is no problem that is not actually a gift.
  • When you learn your lessons, the pain goes away.
  • Old age is not synonymous with being ‘glad to die.
  • Guilt is perhaps the most painful companion of death.
  • My patients taught me not how to die, but how to live.
  • Mankind’s greatest gift… is that we have free choice.
  • If you are ready for mystical experiences, you have them.
  • you are worthy and lovable, just as you are, on your own.
  • But intellect does not inform matters of the heart. Regrets
  • Free choice is the greatest gift God gives to his children.
  • Memories are the only real gifts we can leave our children.
  • I only believe in what I see and hear with my own eyes and ears.
  • We cannot find peace if we are afraid of the windstorms of life.
  • We often tend to ignore how much of a child is still in all of us.
  • The only incontrovertible fact of my work is the importance of life.
  • You may not get what you want, but God always gives you what you need.
  • The wholeness we seek lives here, with and within us, now, in reality.
  • The opinion which other people have of you is their problem, not yours.
  • Death is not painful. It is the most beautiful experience you will have.
  • The ultimate lesson is learning how to love and be loved unconditionally
  • Begin to live each day to the fullest, as if it were the only one we had.
  • We cannot look at the sun all the time, we cannot face death all the time.
  • Love is really the only thing we can possess, keep with us, and take with us.
  • We will never like this reality or make it okay, but eventually we accept it.
  • Everything in this life has a purpose, there are no mistakes, no coincidences.
  • Live, so you do not have to look back and say: ‘God, how I have wasted my life.’
  • I once considered writing a book called “I’m not OK and you’re not OK, and that’s OK”.
  • We all have to go through the tumbler a few times before we can emerge as a crystal.
  • We often assume that if we are good people, we will not suffer the ills of the world.
  • Paul Brunton’s Notebooks are a veritable treasure-trove of philosophic-spiritual wisdom.
  • Birth is not a beginning and death is not an ending. They are merely points on a continuum.
  • There are no mistakes, no coincidences, all events are blessings given to us to learn from.
  • Death is staring too long into the burning sun and the relief of entering a cool, dark room.
  • When I die I’m going to dance first in all the galaxies…I’m gonna play and dance and sing.
  • When life puts you through a tumbler, it’s your choice whether you come out polished or crushed.
  • Those who learned to know death, rather than to fear and fight it, become our teachers about life.
  • If people would get in touch with their spirits, they would be able to heal, emotionally and physically.
  • Should you shield the canyons from the windstorms you would never see the true beauty of their carvings.
  • We need to teach the next generation of children from day one that they are responsible for their lives.
  • Dying is something we human beings do continuously, not just at the end of our physical lives on this earth.
  • You have entered an abnormal, lonely, and unwelcome new world where you are nothing but an island of sadness.
  • I am an artist because the knot is so powerful I just cannot, nor want to be, anything else or do anything else.
  • It’s not the end of the physical body that should worry us. Rather our concern must be to live while we’re alive.
  • Dying is nothing to fear. It can be the most wonderful experience of your life. It all depends on how you’ve lived.
  • I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that there is no death the way we understood it. The body dies, but not the soul.
  • We need time to move through the pain of loss. We need to step into it, really to get to know it, in order to learn
  • Any natural, normal human being, when faced with any kind of loss, will go from shock all the way through acceptance.
  • I look for mystery and try to decipher it while knowing it is an impossible task. I look for memory, where Mystery lies.
  • The ultimate lesson all of us have to learn is unconditional love, which includes not only others but ourselves as well.
  • If we could see that everything, even tragedy, is a gift in diguise, we would then find the best way to nourish the soul.
  • I think that as you evolve spiritually, automatically your body tells you what is acceptable for your body and what is not.
  • When we face the worst that can happen in any situation, we grow. When circumstances are at their worst, we can find our best.
  • I’ve told my children that when I die, to release balloons in the sky to celebrate that I graduated. For me, death is a graduation.
  • We do things hopefully because they add life to our living, but not with the illusion they will help us escape death when our time comes.
  • Denial helps us to pace our feelings of grief. There is a grace in denial. It is nature’s way of letting in only as much as we can handle.
  • We bring a deeper commitment to our happiness when we fully understand, that our time left is limited, and we really need to make it count.
  • We make progress in society only if we stop cursing and complaining about its shortcomings and have the courage to do something about them.
  • I always say that death can be one of the greatest experiences ever. If you live each day of your life right, then you have nothing to fear.
  • Throughout life, we get clues that remind us of the direction we are supposed to be headed if you stay focused, then you learn your lessons.
  • It is difficult to accept death in this society because it is unfamiliar. In spite of the fact that it happens all the time, we never see it.
  • A woman needs to know about blood pressure, blood sugar, and cholesterol. And she needs to know the kinds of things she can do to stay healthy.
  • Death is a graduation. When we’re taught all the things we came to teach, learned all the things we came to learn, then we’re allowed to graduate.
  • All events are blessings given to us to learn from and therefore we should be grateful for the opportunity to grow and evolve into our best selves.
  • I have learned there is no joy without hardship. There is no pleasure without pain. Would we know the comfort of peace without the distress of war?
  • If you truly want to grow as a person and learn, you should realize that the universe has enrolled you in the graduate program of life, called loss.
  • When we have passed the tests, we are sent to Earth to learn, we are allowed to graduate. We are allowed to shed our body, which imprisons our souls.
  • Even though I had a good income from my lectures, no one would give me a loan. The insanity almost drove me to sympathize with the feminist movement.
  • Is war perhaps nothing else but a need to face death, to conquer and master it, to come out of it alive — a peculiar form of denial of our mortality?
  • I believe that we are solely responsible for our choices, and we have to accept the consequences of every deed, word, and thought throughout our lifetime.
  • When you spend your life doing what you love to do, you are nourishing your Soul. It matters not what you do, only that you love whatever you happen to do.
  • Death is simply a shedding of the physical body, like the butterfly coming out of a cocoon. . . . It’s like putting away your winter coat when spring comes.
  • For those who seek to understand it, death is a highly creative force. The highest spiritual values of life can originate from the thought and study of death.
  • The beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of those depths.
  • There is no need to go to India or anywhere else to find peace. You will find that deep place of silence right in your room, your garden or even your bathtub.
  • To love means not to impose your own powers on your fellow man but offer him your help. And if he refuses it, to be proud that he can do it on his own strength.
  • People after death become complete again. The blind can see, the deaf can hear, cripples are no longer crippled after all their vital signs have ceased to exist.
  • We point to our unhappy circumstances to rationalize our negative feelings. This is the easy way out. It takes, after all, very little effort to feel victimized.
  • If we make our goal to live a life of compassion and unconditional love, then the world will indeed become a garden where all kinds of flowers can bloom and grow.
  • I think modern medicine has become like a prophet offering a life free of pain. It is nonsense. The only thing I know that truly heals people is unconditional love.
  • You are not a powerless speck of dust drifting around in the wind…we are, each of us, like beautiful snowflakes-unique, and born for a specific reason and purpose.
  • Every individual human being born on this earth has the capacity to become a unique and special person, unlike any who has ever existed before or ever will exist again.
  • Children who die young are some of our greatest teachers. We are allowed to die when we have taught what we came to teach and when we have learned what we came to learn.
  • I believe every person has a guardian spirit or angel. They assist us in the transition between life and death and they also help us pick our parents before we are born.
  • I think that modern medicine has become like a prophet offering a life free of pain. It is nonsense. The only thing I know that truly heals people is unconditional love.
  • There is within each one of us a potential for goodness beyond our imagining; for giving which seeks no reward; for listening without judgment; for loving unconditionally.
  • There is no mistaking love. You feel it in your heart. It is the common fiber of life, the flame that heats our soul, energizes our spirit, and supplies passion to our lives.
  • Grief will happen either as an open healing wound or a closed festering wound, either honestly or dishonestly, either appropriately or inappropriately. But emotions will be expressed.
  • People are like stained – glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within.
  • I didn’t fully realize it at the time, but the goal of my life was profoundly molded by this experience – to help produce, in the next generation, more Mother Teresas and less Hitlers.
  • dying nowadays is more gruesome in many ways, namely, more lonely, mechanical, and dehumanized; at times it is even difficult to determine technically when the time of death has occurred.
  • Learn to get in touch with the silence within yourself, and know that everything in life has purpose. There are no mistakes, no coincidences, all events are blessings given to us to learn from.
  • Watching a peaceful death of a human being reminds us of a falling star; one of a million lights in a vast sky that flares up for a brief moment only to disappear into the endless night forever.
  • Think of a lifeless forest in which a small plant pushes its head upward, out of the ruin. In our grief process, we are moving into life from death, without denying the devastation that came before.
  • We think sometimes we’re only drawn to the good, but we’re actually drawn to the authentic. We like people who are real more than those who hide their true selves under layers of artificial niceties
  • Death is but a transition from this life to another existence where there is no more pain and anguish. All the bitterness and disagreements will vanish, and the only thing that lives forever is love.
  • We have to ask ourselves whether medicine is to remain a humanitarian and respected profession or a new but depersonalized science in the service of prolonging life rather than diminishing human suffering.
  • It is the denial of death that is partially responsible for people living empty, purposeless lives; for when you live as if you’ll live forever, it becomes too easy to postpone the things you know that you must do.
  • There is not much sense in suffering, since drugs can be given for pain, itching, and other discomforts. The belief has long died that suffering here on earth will be rewarded in heaven. Suffering has lost its meaning.
  • Death is simply a shedding of the physical body like the butterfly shedding its cocoon. It is a transition to a higher state of consciousness where you continue to perceive, to understand, to laugh, and to be able to grow.
  • It’s only when we truly know and understand that we have a limited time on earth – and that we have no way of knowing when our time is up, we will then begin to live each day to the fullest, as if it was the only one we had.
  • The simple life on the farm was everything to me. Nothing was more relaxing after a long plane flight than to reach the winding driveway that led up to my house. The quiet of the night was more soothing than a sleeping pill.
  • Those who have the strength and the love to sit with a dying patient in the silence that goes beyond words will know that this moment is neither frightening nor painful, but a peaceful cessation of the functioning of the body.
  • Death is the final stage of growth in this life. There is no total death. Only the body dies. The self or the spirit, or whatever you may wish to label it, is eternal. You may interpret this in any way that makes you comfortable.
  • It is inconceivable for our unconscious to imagine an actual ending of our own life here on Earth, and if this life of ours has to end, the ending is always attributed to a malicious intervention from the outside by someone else.
  • We run after values that, at death, become zero. At the end of your life, nobody asks you how many degrees you have, or how many mansions you built, or how many Rolls Royces you could afford. That’s what dying patients teach you.
  • We’re expected to go back to work immediately, keep moving, to get on with our lives. But it doesn’t work that way. We need time to move through the pain of loss. We need to step into it, really to get to know it, in order to learn
  • I was educated in line with the basic premise: work work work. You are only a valuable human being if you work. This is utterly wrong. Half working, half dancing – that is the right mixture. I myself have danced and played too little.
  • We need to teach the next generation of children from day one that they are responsible for their lives. Mankind’s greatest gift, also its greatest curse, is that we have free choice. We can make our choices built from love or from fear.
  • It is my conviction that it is the intuitive, spiritual aspects of us humans-the inner voice-that gives us the ‘knowing,’ the peace, and the direction to go through the windstorms of life, not shattered but whole, joining in love and understanding.
  • Dying is an integral part of life, as natural and predictable as being born. But whereas birth is cause for celebration, death has become a dreaded and unspeakable issue to be avoided by every means possible in our modern society. Perhaps it is that.
  • We are living in a time of uncertainty, anxiety, fear, and despair. It is essential that you become aware of the light, power, and strength within each of you, and that you learn to use those inner resources in service of your own and others’ growth.
  • I say to people who care for people who are dying, if you really love that person and want to help them, be with them when their end comes close. Sit with them – you don’t even have to talk. You don’t have to do anything but really be there with them.
  • If, on the other hand, you listen to your own inner voice, to your own inner wisdom, which is far greater than anyone else’s as far as you are concerned, you will not go wrong, and you will know what to do with your life. Then time is no longer relevant.
  • It is very important that you do only what you love to do. You may be poor, you may go hungry, you may live in a shabby place, but you will totally live. And at the end of your days, you will bless your life because you have done what you came here to do.
  • There is no joy without hardship. If not for death, would we appreciate life? If not for hate, would we know the ultimate goal is love? At these moments you can either hold on to negativity and look for blame, or you can choose to heal and keep on loving.
  • As far as service goes, it can take the form of a million things. To do service, you don’t have to be a doctor working in the slums for free, or become a social worker. Your position in life and what you do doesn’t matter as much as how you do what you do.
  • Real love doesn’t die. It’s the physical body that dies. Genuine, authentic love has no expectations whatsoever; it doesn’t even need the physical presence of a person. … Even when he is dead and buried that part of you that loves the person will always live.
  • Mourning can go on for years and years. It doesn’t end after a year, that’s a false fantasy. It usually ends when people realize that they can live again, that they can concentrate their energies on their lives as a whole, and not on their hurt, and guilt and pain.
  • When we grow older and begin to realize that our omnipotence is really not so omnipotent, that our strongest wishes are not powerful enough to make the impossible possible, the fear that we have contributed to the death of a loved one diminishes – and with it, the guilt.
  • Consciously or not, we are all on a quest for answers, trying to learn the lessons of life. We grapple with fear and guilt. We search for meaning, love, and power. We try to understand fear, loss, and time. We seek to discover who we are and how we can become truly happy.
  • It is not the end of the physical body that should worry us. Rather, our concern must be to live while we’re alive – to release our inner selves from the spiritual death that comes with living behind a facade designed to conform to external definitions of who and what we are.
  • The world cannot be discovered by a journey of miles…only by a spiritual journey…by which we arrive at the ground at our feet and learn to be at home. The ultimate lesson all of us have to learn is unconditional love, which includes not only others but ourselves as well.
  • I was destined to work with dying patients. I had no choice when I encountered my first AIDS patient. I felt called to travel some 250,000 miles each year to hold workshops that helped people cope with the most painful aspects of life, death and the transition between the two.
  • Lots of my dying patients say they grow in bounds and leaps and finish all the unfinished business. But assisting a suicide is cheating them of these lessons, like taking a student out of school before final exams. That’s not love, it’s projecting your own unfinished business
  • How do geese know when to fly to the sun? Who tells them the seasons? How do we, humans know when it is time to move on? As with the migrant birds, so surely with us, there is a voice within if only we would listen to it, that tells us certainly when to go forth into the unknown.
  • It is important to feel the anger without judging it, without attempting to find meaning in it. It may take many forms: anger at the health-care system, at life, at your loved one for leaving. Life is unfair. Death is unfair. Anger is a natural reaction to the unfairness of loss.
  • We’re put here on Earth to learn our own lessons. No one can tell you what your lessons are; it is part of your personal journey to discover them. On these journeys we may be given a lot, or just a little bit, of the things we must grapple with, but never more than we can handle.
  • My work with AIDS patients started right at the beginning of the epidemic, totally unplanned and spontaneous, as all my work had proceeded in the previous two decades, if it were not already my whole life-style! In the early eighties, we knew very little about this peculiar disease.
  • The five stages – denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance – are a part of the framework that makes up our learning to live with the one we lost. They are tools to help us frame and identify what we may be feeling. But they are not stops on some linear timeline in grief.
  • According to my parents, I was supposed to have been a nice, churchgoing Swiss housewife. Instead I ended up an opinionated psychiatrist, author and lecturer in the American Southwest, who communicates with spirits from a world that I believe is far more loving and glorious than our own.
  • Learning lessons is a little like reaching maturity. You’re not suddenly more happy, wealthy, or powerful, but you understand the world around you better, and you’re at peace with yourself. Learning life’s lessons is not about making your life perfect, but about seeing life as it was meant to be.
  • Medicine has changed greatly in the last decades. Widespread vaccinations have practically eradicated many illnesses, at least in western Europe and the United States. The use of chemotherapy, especially the antibiotics, has contributed to an ever-decreasing number of fatalities in infectious diseases.
  • Those who have been immersed in the tragedy of massive death during wartime, and who have faced it squarely, never allowing their senses and feelings to become numbed and indifferent, have emerged from their experiences with growth and humanness greater than that achieved through almost any other means.
  • The reality is that you will grieve forever. You will not “get over” the loss of a loved one; you will learn to live with it. You will heal and you will rebuild yourself around the loss you have suffered. You will be whole again but you will never be the same. Nor should you be the same nor would you want to.
  • For years, I have been stalked by a bad reputation. Actually, I have been pursued by people who have regarded me as the ‘Death and Dying’ Lady. They believe that having spent more than three decades in research into death and life after death qualifies me as an expert on the subject. I think they miss the point.
  • There are dreams of love, life, and adventure in all of us. But we are also sadly filled with reasons why we shouldn’t try. These reasons seem to protect us, but in truth they imprison us. They hold life at a distance. Life will be over sooner than we think. If we have bikes to ride and people to love, now is the time.
  • We will never be enlightened unless we realize and own what our capacity, from the best of the best to the worst of the worst because then we have more empathy, more compassion, more sympathy for others who do things that are hurtful and harmful and we see, given certain situations, I’m capable of that myself. So, I’m less judgmental.
  • When I came to this country in 1958, to be a dying patient in a medical hospital was a nightmare. You were put in the last room, furthest away from the nurses’ station. You were full of pain, but they wouldn’t give you morphine. Nobody told you that you were full of cancer and that it was understandable that you had pain and needed medication.
  • The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.
  • Grief is not just a series of events, stages, or timelines. Our society places enormous pressure on us to get over loss, to get through grief. But how long do you grieve for a husband of fifty years, a teenager killed in a car accident, a four-year-old child: a year? Five years? Forever? The loss happens in time, in fact in a moment, but its aftermath lasts a lifetime.
  • What is important is to realize that whether we understand fully who we are or what will happen when we die, it’s our purpose to grow as human beings, to look within ourselves, to find and build upon that source of peace and understanding and strength that is our individual self. And then to reach out to others with love and acceptance and patient guidance in the hope of what we may become together.
  • You can become a channel and a source of great inner strength. But you must give up everything in order to gain everything. What must you give up? All that is not truly you; all that you have chosen without choosing and value without evaluating, accepting because of someone else’s extrinsic judgment, rather than your own; all your self-doubt that keeps you from trusting and loving yourself or other human beings.
  • You have to temper the iron. Every hardship is an opportunity that you are given, an opportunity to grow. To grow is the sole purpose of existence on this planet Earth. You will not grow if you sit in a beautiful flower garden, but you will grow if you are sick, if you are in pain, if you experience losses, and if you do not put your head in the sand, but take the pain as a gift to you with a very, very specific purpose.
  • And after your death, when most of you for the first time realize what life here is all about, you will begin to see that your life here is almost nothing but the sum total of every choice you have made during every moment of your life. Your thoughts, which you are responsible for, are as real as your deeds.  You will begin to realize that every word and every deed affects your life and has also touched thousands of lives.
  • We usually know more about suppressing anger than feeling it. Tell a counselor how angry you are. Share it with friends and family. Scream into a pillow. Find ways to get it out without hurting yourself or someone else. Try walking, swimming, gardening—any type of exercise helps you externalize your anger. Do not bottle up anger inside. Instead, explore it. The anger is just another indication of the intensity of your love.
  • Grief is real because loss is real. Each grief has its own imprint, as distinctive and as unique as the person we lost. The pain of loss is so intense, so heartbreaking, because in loving we deeply connect with another human being, and grief is the reflection of the connection that has been lost. We think we want to avoid the grief, but really it is the pain of the loss we want to avoid. Grief is the healing process that ultimately brings us comfort in our pain.
  • It is very important that you only do what you love to do. you may be poor, you may go hungry, you may lose your car, you may have to move into a shabby place to live, but you will totally live. And at the end of your days you will bless your life because you have done what you came here to do. Otherwise, you will live your life as a prostitute, you will do things only for a reason, to please other people, and you will never have lived. and you will not have a pleasant death.
  • Whether you know it or not, one of the most important relationships in your life is with your Soul. Will you be kind and loving to your Soul, or will you be harsh and difficult? Many of us unknowingly damage our Souls with our negative attitudes and actions or by simple neglect. By making the relationship with your Soul an important part of your life, however, by honoring it in your daily routine, you give your life greater meaning and substance. Use your experiences-all of them-as opportunities to nourish your Soul!
  • That’s really what grief has taught me. That I can survive. I used to be afraid that if I experienced grief it would overcome me and I wouldn’t be able to survive the flood of it, that if I actually felt it I wouldn’t be able to get back up. It’s taught me that I can feel it and it won’t swallow me whole. But we come from a culture where we think people have to be strong. I’m a big believer in being vulnerable, open to grief. That is strength. You can’t know joy unless you know profound sadness. They don’t exist without each other.
  • There are only two emotions: love and fear. All positive emotions come from love, all negative emotions from fear. From love flows happiness, contentment, peace, and joy. From fear comes anger, hate, anxiety and guilt. It’s true that there are only two primary emotions, love and fear. But it’s more accurate to say that there is only love or fear, for we cannot feel these two emotions together, at exactly the same time. They’re opposites. If we’re in fear, we are not in a place of love. When we’re in a place of love, we cannot be in a place of fear.
  • We are all so bent and determined to get what we want, we miss the lessons that could be learned from life’s experiences. Many of my AIDS patients discovered that the last year of their lives was by far their best. Many have said they wouldn’t have traded the rich quality of that last year of life for a healthier body. Sadly, it is only when tragedy strikes that most of us begin attending to the deeper aspects of life. It is only then that we attempt to go beyond surface concerns-what we look like, how much money we make, and so forth-to discover what’s really important.
  • In the so-called civilized world, children are physically, sexually and/or emotionally abused; they are the leaders of our future. When children are raised in such a hostile and violent environment, how can we hope for a harmonious future for all people of this world? In this light, the purpose of human life is to achieve our own spiritual evolution, to get rid of negativity, to establish harmony among our physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual quadrants, to learn to live in harmony within the family, community, nation, ..treating all of mankind as brothers and sisters.
  • Simple people with less education, sophistication, social ties, and professional obligations seem in general to have somewhat less difficulty in facing this final crisis than people of affluence who lose a great deal more in terms of material luxuries, comfort, and number of interpersonal relationships. It appears that people who have gone through a life of suffering, hard work, and labor, who have raised their children and been gratified in their work, have shown greater ease in accepting death with peace and dignity compared to those who have been ambitiously controlling their environment, accumulating material goods, and a great number of social relationships but few meaningful interpersonal relationships which would have been available at the end of life.

Carl Jung (quotes)

Making the unconscious conscious

.

Go within and face your soul …

  • People will do anything, no matter how absurd, to avoid facing their own souls.
  • Space flights are merely an escape, a fleeing away from oneself, because it is easier to go to Mars or to the moon than it is to penetrate one’s own being.
  • The highest, most decisive experience is to be alone with one’s own self. You must be alone to find out what supports you, when you find that you can not support yourself. Only this experience can give you an indestructible foundation.
  • Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart.  Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens.
  • In each of us there is another whom we do not know.
  • Your perception will become clear only when you can look into your soul.
  • People will do anything, no matter how absurd, in order to avoid facing their own souls. They will practice Indian yoga and all its exercises, observe a strict regimen of diet, learn the literature of the whole world – all because they cannot get on with themselves and have not the slightest faith that anything useful could ever come out of their own souls.
  • The more veiled becomes the outside world, steadily losing in colour, tone and passions, the more urgently the inner world calls us.
  • The inner man has access to the sense organs of god.
  • God has fallen out of containment in religion and into human hearts—God is incarnating. Our whole unconscious is in an uproar from the God Who wants to know and to be known.
.

… and get deeply in touch with your feelings and emotions …

  • Emotion is the chief source of all becoming-conscious. There can be no transforming of darkness into light and of apathy into movement without emotion.
  • Feeling tells us what this thing is to us.
  • Had I left those images hidden in the emotions, I might have been torn to pieces by them.
  • How difficult it is to reach anything approaching a moderate and relatively calm point of view in the midst of one’s emotions.
  • There is no coming to consciousness without pain.
  • Where wisdom reigns, there is no conflict between thinking and feeling.
  • Depression is like a woman in black. If she turns up, don’t shoo her away. Invite her in, offer her a seat, treat her like a guest and listen to what she wants to say.
  • Real liberation comes not from glossing over or repressing painful states of feeling, but only from experiencing them to the full.
.

… beyond the mere intellect …

  • Our intellect has achieved the most tremendous things, but in the meantime our spiritual dwelling has fallen into disrepair.
  • We should not pretend to understand the world only by the intellect; we apprehend it just as much by feeling.  Therefore, the judgment of the intellect is, at best, only the half of truth, and must, if it be honest, also come to an understanding of its inadequacy.
.

… in order to make the unconscious conscious

  • Filling the conscious mind with ideal conceptions is a characteristic of Western theosophy, but not the confrontation with the Shadow and the world of darkness. One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious. The latter procedure, however, is disagreeable and therefore not popular.
  • As far as we can discern, the sole purpose of human existence is to kindle a light in the darkness of mere being.
  • Becoming conscious is of course a sacrilege against nature; it is as though you had robbed the unconscious of something.
  • Enlightenment is not imagining figures of light, but making the darkness conscious.
  • Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.
  • When an inner situation is not made conscious it appears outside as fate.
  • What we do not make conscious emerges later as fate.
  • We may think that we fully control ourselves. However, a friend can easily reveal something about us that we have absolutely no idea about.
  • Man’s task is to become conscious of the contents that press upward from the unconscious.
  • Our heart glows, and secret unrest gnaws at the root of our being. Dealing with the unconscious has become a question of life for us.
  • The unconscious is not just evil by nature, it is also the source of the highest good: not only dark but also light, not only bestial, semihuman, and demonic but superhuman, spiritual, and, in the classical sense of the word, “divine.”
  • How can anyone see straight when he does not see himself and the darkness he unconsciously carries with him into all his dealings?
  • The longing for light is the longing for consciousness.
  • The greatest sin is to be unconscious.
.

To make the unconscious conscious brings great freedom from our conditioning …

  • It is often tragic to see how blatantly a man bungles his own life and the lives of others yet remains totally incapable of seeing how much the whole tragedy originates in himself, and how he continually feeds it and keeps it going. Not consciously, of course—for consciously he is engaged in bewailing and cursing a faithless world that recedes further and further into the distance. Rather, it is an unconscious factor which spins the illusions that veil his world. And what is being spun is a cocoon, which in the end will completely envelop him.
  • Everyone knows nowadays that people ‘have complexes’. What is not so well known, though far more important theoretically, is that complexes can have us.
  • Consciousness succumbs all too easily to unconscious influences, and these are often truer and wiser than our conscious thinking.
  • Freedom stretches only as far as the limits of our consciousness.
  • A man likes to believe that he is the master of his soul. But as long as he is unable to control his moods and emotions, or to be conscious of the myriad secret ways in which unconscious factors insinuate themselves into his arrangements and decisions, he is certainly not his own master.
  • The only thing that really matters now is whether man can climb up to a higher moral level, to a higher plane of consciousness, in order to be equal to the superhuman powers which the fallen angels have played into his hands. But he can make no progress until he becomes very much better acquainted with his own nature.
  • We are a psychic process which we do not control, or only partly direct. Consequently, we cannot have any final judgment about ourselves or our lives.
  • Our unconscious is the key to our life’s pursuits.
.

… and helps us to transcend our human problems

  • All the greatest and most important problems in life are fundamentally insoluble … They can never be solved, but only outgrown. This “outgrowing” proves on further investigation to require a new level of consciousness. Some higher or wider interest appeared on the horizon and through this broadening of outlook, the insoluble lost its urgency. It was not solved logically in its own terms, but faded when confronted with a new and stronger life urge.
  • The serious problems in life…are never fully solved. If ever they should appear to be so it is a sure sign that something has been lost. The meaning and purpose of a problem seem to lie not in its solution but in our working at it incessantly.
  • When you are up against a wall, put down roots like a tree, until clarity comes from deeper sources to see over that wall and grow.
.

Awaken

.

Awaken from ego …

  • Even the enlightened person is never more than his own limited ego before the One who dwells within him, whose form has no knowable boundaries, who encompasses him on all sides, fathomless as the abysms of the earth and vast as the sky.
  • Midlife is the time to let go of an overdominant ego and to contemplate the deeper significance of human existence.
  • The first half of life is devoted to forming a healthy ego, the second half is going inward and letting go of it.
  • Only a life lived in a certain spirit is worth living. It is a remarkable fact that a life lived entirely from the ego is dull not only for the person himself but for all concerned.
  • An inflated consciousness is always egocentric and conscious of nothing but its own existence. It is incapable of learning from the past, incapable of understanding contemporary events, and incapable of drawing right conclusions about the future. It is hypnotized by itself and therefore cannot be argued with. It inevitably dooms itself to calamities that must strike it dead.
  • The experience of the self is always a defeat for the ego.
.

… and wake up to who you really are

  • I simply believe that some part of the human Self or Soul is not subject to the laws of space and time.
  • I am an orphan, alone: nevertheless I am found everywhere. I am one, but opposed to myself. I am youth and old man at one and the same time. I have known neither father nor mother, because I have had to be fetched out of the deep like a fish, or fell like a white stone from heaven. In woods and mountains I roam, but I am hidden in the innermost soul of man. I am mortal for everyone, yet I am not touched by the cycle of aeons.
  • The world will ask you who you are, and if you don’t know, the world will tell you.
  • We discover ourselves through others.
  • You must go in quest of yourself, and you will find yourself again only in the simple and forgotten things.
  • To become acquainted with oneself is a terrible shock.
.

Discover your connection to the infinite

  • The decisive question for man is: Is he related to something infinite or not? That is the telling question of his life. Only if we know that the thing which truly matters is the infinite can we avoid fixing our interests upon futilities, and upon all kinds of goals which are not of real importance. Thus we demand that the world grant us recognition for qualities which we regard as personal possessions: our talent or our beauty. The more a man lays stress on false possessions, and the less sensitivity he has for what is essential, the less satisfying is his life. He feels limited because he has limited aims, and the result is envy and jealousy. If we understand and feel that here in this life we already have a link with the infinite, desires and attitudes change.
  • Even the enlightened person remains what he is, and is never more than his own limited ego before the One who dwells within him, whose form has no knowable boundaries, who encompasses him on all sides, fathomless as the abysms of the earth and vast as the sky.
.

The power of perception

.

Realise the power of mental perception in influencing the way we interpret things

  • It all depends on how we look at things, and not on how things are in themselves. The least of things with a meaning is worth more in life than the greatest of things without it.
  • We should know what our convictions are, and stand for them. Upon one’s own philosophy, conscious or unconscious, depends one’s ultimate interpretation of facts. Therefore it is wise to be as clear as possible about one’s subjective principles. As the man is, so will be his ultimate truth.
.

Self acceptance and integration

.

Come to accept and love yourself …

  • A little less hypocrisy and a little more tolerance towards oneself can only have good results in respect for our neighbor; for we are all too prone to transfer to our fellows the injustice and violence we inflict upon our own natures.
  • The most terrifying thing is to accept oneself completely.
  • I cannot love anyone if I hate myself. That is the reason why we feel so extremely uncomfortable in the presence of people who are noted for their special virtuousness, for they radiate an atmosphere of the torture they inflict on themselves. That is not a virtue but a vice.
  • The acceptance of oneself is the essence of the whole moral problem and the epitome of a whole outlook on life. That I feed the hungry, that I forgive an insult, that I love my enemy in the name of Christ — all these are undoubtedly great virtues. What I do unto the least of my brethren, that I do unto Christ. But what if I should discover that the least among them all, the poorest of all the beggars, the most impudent of all the offenders, the very enemy himself — that these are within me, and that I myself stand in need of the alms of my own kindness — that I myself am the enemy who must be loved — what then? As a rule, the Christian’s attitude is then reversed; there is no longer any question of love or long-suffering; we say to the brother within us “Raca,” and condemn and rage against ourselves. We hide it from the world; we refuse to admit ever having met this least among the lowly in ourselves.
  • What if I should discover that the poorest of the beggars and the most impudent of offenders are all within me; and that I stand in need of the alms of my own kindness, that I, myself, am the enemy who must be loved — what then?
  • Perhaps, I myself am the enemy who needs to be loved.
.

… including your shadow …

  • How can I be substantial if I do not cast a shadow? I must have a dark side also If I am to be whole.
  • If such a thing can happen to a man, it challenges his best and highest on the other side; that is to say, this depth corresponds to a potential height, and the blackest darkness to a hidden light.
  • It is under all circumstances an advantage to be in full possession of one’s personality, otherwise the repressed elements will only crop up as a hindrance elsewhere, not just at some unimportant point, but at the very spot where we are most sensitive. If people can be educated to see the shadow-side of their nature clearly, it may be hoped that they will also learn to understand and love their fellow men better. A little less hypocrisy and a little more self- knowledge can only have good results in respect for our neighbor; for we are all too prone to transfer to our fellows the injustice and violence we inflict upon our own natures.
  • Knowing your own darkness is the best method for dealing with the darknesses of other people.
  • The best political, social and spiritual work we can do is to withdraw the projection of our shadow onto others.
  • The brighter the light, the darker the shadow.
  • The Shadow is a moral problem that challenges the whole ego-personality, for no one can become conscious of the shadow without considerable moral effort. To become conscious of it involves recognizing the dark aspects of the personality as present and real. This act is the essential condition for any kind of self-knowledge, and it therefore, as a rule, meets with considerable resistance. Indeed, self-knowledge as a psychotherapuetic measure frequently requires much painstaking work extending over a long period of time.
  • Everyone carries a shadow, and the less it is embodied in the individual’s conscious life, the blacker and denser it is. At all counts, it forms an unconscious snag, thwarting our most well-meant intentions.
  • What if I should discover that the poorest of the beggars and the most impudent of offenders are all within me; and that I stand in need of the alms of my own kindness, that I, myself, am the enemy who must be loved — what then?
.

… and your madness

  • Be silent and listen: have you recognised your madness and do you admit it? Have you noticed that all your foundations are completely mired in madness? Do you not want to recognise your madness and welcome it in a friendly manner? You wanted to accept everything. So accept madness too. Let the light of your madness shine, and it will suddenly dawn on you. Madness is not to be despised and not to be feared, but instead you should give it life…If you want to find paths, you should also not spurn madness, since it makes up such a great part of your nature…Be glad that you can recognise it, for you will thus avoid becoming its victim. Madness is a special form of the spirit and clings to all teachings and philosophies, but even more to daily life, since life itself is full of craziness and at bottom utterly illogical. Man strives toward reason only so that he can make rules for himself. Life itself has no rules. That is its mystery and its unknown law. What you call knowledge is an attempt to impose something comprehensible on life.
  • If we feel our way into the human secrets of the sick person, the madness also reveals its system, and we recognise in the mental illness merely an exceptional reaction to emotional problems which are not strange to us.
.

Accepting your shadow stops you projecting it onto others

  • Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.
  • The best political, social and spiritual work we can do is to withdraw the projection of our shadow onto others.
  • Whatever is rejected from the self, appears in the world as an event.
  • Everything about other people that doesn’t satisfy us helps us to better understand ourselves.
  • A man’s hatred is always concentrated upon that which makes him conscious of his bad qualities.
.

Accepting your shadow brings wholeness

  • I don’t aspire to be a good man. I aspire to be a whole man.
  • I must also have a dark side if I am to be whole.
  • Wholeness is not achieved by cutting off a portion of one’s being, but by integration of the contraries.
  • The attainment of wholeness requires one to stake one’s whole being. Nothing less will do; there can be no easier conditions, no substitutes, no compromises.
.

Be who you are

  • The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are.
  • Do not compare, do not measure. No other way is like yours. All other ways deceive and tempt you. You must fulfill the way that is in you.
  • The only important thing is to follow nature. A tiger should be a good tiger; a tree, a good tree. So people should be people. But to know what people are, one must follow nature and go alone, admitting the importance of the unexpected.
  • The whole point of Jesus’s life was not that we should become exactly like him, but that we should become ourselves in the same way he became himself. Jesus was not the great exception but the great example.
.

Come to understand and know yourself

  • Understanding does not cure evil, but it is a definite help, inasmuch as one can cope with a comprehensible darkness.
  • We meet ourselves time and again in a thousand disguises on the path of life.
.

Embrace and accept life

.

Remain attentive, accepting life as it unfolds

  • Out of evil, much good has come to me. By keeping quiet, repressing nothing, remaining attentive, and by accepting reality – taking things as they are, and not as I wanted them to be – by doing all this, unusual knowledge has come to me, and unusual powers as well, such as I could never have imagined before.
  • I always thought that when we accepted things they overpowered us in some way or other. This turns out not to be true at all, and it is only by accepting them that one can assume and attitude towards them.
  • We cannot change anything until we accept it.  Condemnation does not liberate, it oppresses.
  • So now I intend to play the game of life, being receptive to whatever comes to me, good and bad, sun and shadow forever alternating, and, in this way, also accepting my own nature with its positive and negative sides. Thus everything becomes more alive to me.
  • What a fool I was! How I tried to force everything to go according to way I thought it ought to.
  • One must be able to let things happen.
.

Embrace personal change and renewal

  • Every individual needs revolution, inner division, overthrow of the existing order, and renewal, but not by forcing them upon his neighbors under the hypocritical cloak of Christian love or the sense of social responsibility or any of the other beautiful euphemisms for unconscious urges to personal power.
  • I’ve realised that somebody who’s tired and needs a rest, and goes on working all the same is a fool.
.

Embrace the duality inherent in life

  • Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness, and the word “happiness” would lose it’s meaning if it were not balanced by sadness.
  • No tree, it is said, can grow to heaven unless its roots reach down to hell.
  • The sad truth is that man’s real life consists of a complex of inexorable opposites – day and night, birth and death, happiness and misery, good and evil. We are not even sure that one will prevail against the other, that good will overcome evil, or joy defeat pain. Life is a battleground. It always has been and always will be; and if it were not so, existence would come to an end.
  • There are as many nights as days, and the one is just as long as the other in the year’s course. Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness, and the word ‘happy’ would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness.
.

Embrace creativity

  • A creative person has little power over his own life. He is not free. He is captive and driven by his daimon.
  • Creative power is mightier than its possessor.
  • If you have nothing at all to create, then perhaps you create yourself.
  • The creation of something new is not accomplished by the intellect but by the play instinct acting from inner necessity. The creative mind plays with the objects it loves.
  • The creative process is a living thing, implanted, as it were in the souls of men.
  • True art is creation, and creation is beyond all theories. That is why I say to any beginner: Learn your theories as well as you can, but put them aside when you touch the miracle of the living soul. Not theories but your own creative individuality alone must decide.
.

Embrace intuition

  • In such doubtful matters, where you have to work as a pioneer, you must be able to put some trust in your intuition and follow your feeling even at the risk of going wrong.
  • Intuition does not denote something contrary to reason, but something outside of the province of reason.
  • Intuition is perception via the unconscious that brings forth ideas, images, new possibilities and ways out of blocked situations.
  • Intuition is one of the four basic psychological functions along with thinking, feeling, and sensing.
.

Embrace your potential …

  • Every human life contains a potential, if that potential is not fulfilled, then that life was wasted.
  • I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become.
  • You must live life in such a spirit that you make in every moment the best of possibilities.
  • The greater the contrast, the greater the potential. Great energy only comes from a correspondingly great tension of opposites.
.

… and your talents

  • Great talents are the most lovely and often the most dangerous fruits on the tree of humanity. They hang upon the most slender twigs that are easily snapped off.
  • Sometimes, indeed, there is such a discrepancy between the genius and his human qualities that one has to ask oneself whether a little less talent might not have been better.
  • If you are a gifted person, it doesn’t mean that you gained something. It means you have something to give back.
.

Embrace nature

  • As musician, Nature is maestro to ten thousand bird songs, chirping crickets, howl and roar of wild beasts, buzz of insects, trumpeting of elephants, organ music of the surf–the great symphony of forest and jungle.
  • Nature seemed to me full of wonders, and I wanted to steep myself in them. Every stone, every plant, every single thing seemed alive and indescribably marvelous.  I immersed myself in nature, crawled, as it were, into the very essence of nature and away from the whole human world.
  • Nature is not matter only. She is also a spirit.
  • Our world has become dehumanised. Man feels himself isolated in the cosmos, because he is no longer involved in nature.
.

Embrace solitude

  • I am no longer alone with myself, and I can only artificially recall the scary and beautiful feeling of solitude. This is the shadow side of the fortune of love.
.

Embrace personal change and growth

  • If there is anything that we wish to change in the child, we should first examine it and see whether it is not something that could better be changed in ourselves.
  • In every adult there lurks a child— an eternal child, something that is always becoming, is never completed, and calls for unceasing care, attention, and education. That is the part of the personality which wants to develop and become whole.
.

Embrace imagination

  • All the works of man have their origin in creative fantasy. What right have we then to depreciate imagination.
  • Without the playing with fantasy no creative work has ever yet come to birth. The debt we owe to the play of imagination is incalculable.
  • Normality is a fine ideal for those who have no imagination.
.

Embrace the mystery of existence…

  • Man strives toward reason only so that he can make rules for himself. Life itself has no rules. That is its mystery and its unknown law. What you call knowledge is an attempt to impose something comprehensible on life.
  • I have never since entirely freed myself of the impression that this life is a segment of existence which is enacted in a three-dimensional boxlike universe especially set up for it.
  •  It seems to be very hard for people to live with riddles or to let them live, although one would think that life is so full of riddles as it is that a few more things we cannot answer would make no difference. But perhaps it is just this that is so unendurable, that there are irrational things in our own psyche which upset the conscious mind in its illusory certainties by confronting it with the riddle of its existence.
  • Often the hands will solve a mystery that the intellect has struggled with in vain.
  • Learn your theories as well as you can, but put them aside when you touch the miracle of the living soul.
.

… and the state of knowing and not knowing

  • I am astonished, disappointed, pleased with myself. I am distressed, depressed, rapturous. I am all these things at once, and cannot add up the sum. I am incapable of determining ultimate worth or worthlessness; I have no judgment about myself and my life. There is nothing I am quite sure about. I have no definite convictions – not about anything, really. I know only that I was born and exist, and it seems to me that I have been carried along. I exist on the foundation or something I do not know.
  • I have gradually learned to be cautious even in disbelief.
  • I shall not commit the fashionable stupidity of regarding everything I cannot explain as a fraud.
  • The word ‘belief’ is a difficult thing for me. I don’t believe. I must have a reason for a certain hypothesis. Either I know a thing, and then I know it – I don’t need to believe it.
  • Knowledge does not enrich us; it removes us more and more from the mythic world in which we were once at home by right of birth.
.

Embrace passion

  • A man who has not passed through the inferno of his passions has never overcome them.
.

Embrace individuality

  • To find out what is truly individual in ourselves, profound reflection is needed; and suddenly we realize how uncommonly difficult the discovery of individuality is.
  • In the last analysis, the essential thing is the life of individual. This alone makes history, here alone do the great transformations take place, and the whole future, the whole history of the world, ultimately springs as a gigantic summation from these hidden source in individuals.
  • The bigger the crowd, the more negligible the individual.
  • Resistance to the organised mass can be effected only by the man who is as well organized in his individuality as the mass itself.
.

Embrace opportunities for challenge

  • Caution has its place, no doubt, but we cannot refuse our support to a serious venture which challenges the whole of the personality. If we oppose it, we are trying to suppress what is best in man –his daring and his aspirations. And should we succeed, we should only have stood in the way of that invaluable experience which might have given a meaning to life.
  • My whole being was seeking for something still unknown which might confer meaning upon the banality of life.
  • Man needs difficulties; they are necessary for health.
.

Embrace love

  • Where love reigns, there is no will to power; and where the will to power is paramount, love is lacking.
  • Faith, hope, love, and insight are the highest achievements of human effort. They are found-given-by experience.
  • For better to come, good must stand aside.
  • Still, nothing is possible without love.   For love puts one in a mood to risk everything, and not to withhold important elements.
  • Where love stops, power begins, and violence, and terror.
.

Embrace silence

  • Silence is for me a fount of healing which makes my life worth living.  Talking is often a torrent for me, and I need many days of silence to recover from the futility of words.
  • Real work is completed in silence and strikes a chord in the minds of only a very few.
.

Find meaning

  • The least of things with a meaning is worth more in life than the greatest of things without it.
  • A psychoneurosis must be understood, ultimately, as the suffering of a soul which has not discovered its meaning.
  • When goals go, meaning goes. When meaning goes, purpose goes. When purpose goes, life goes dead on our hands.
  • Trust that which gives you meaning and accept it as your guide.
  • Meaning makes a great many things endurable—perhaps everything.
.

Embrace what comes from within

  • Our mania for rational explanations obviously has its roots in our fear of metaphysics, for the two were always hostile brothers. Hence, anything unexpected that approaches us from the dark realm is regarded either as coming from outside and, therefore, as real, or else as a hallucination and, therefore, not true. The idea that anything could be real or true which does not come from outside has hardly begun to dawn on contemporary man.
.

Find meaning in synchronicity

.

Recognise synchronicity when it happens and find meaning in it

  • Synchronicity: A meaningful coincidence of two or more events where something other than the probability of chance is involved.
  • Synchronicity is an ever present reality for those who have eyes to see.
  • Synchronicity is no more baffling or mysterious than the discontinuities of physics. It is only the ingrained belief in the sovereign power of causality that creates intellectual difficulties and makes it appear unthinkable that causeless events exist or could ever exist. But if they do, then we must regard them as creative acts, as the continuous creation of a pattern that exists from all eternity, repeats itself sporadically, and is not derivable from any known antecedents.
  • Synchronicity reveals the meaningful connections between the subjective and objective world.
  • Synchronicity takes the coincidence of events in space and time as meaning something more than mere chance, namely, a peculiar interdependence of objective events among themselves as well as with the subjective (psychic) states of the observer or observers.
  • The problem of synchronicity has puzzled me for a long time, ever since the middle twenties, when I was investigating the phenomena of the collective unconscious and kept on coming across connections which I simply could not explain as chance groupings or “runs.”  What I found were “coincidences” which were connected so meaningfully that their “chance” concurrence would represent a degree of improbability that would have to be expressed by an astronomical figure.
  • We often dream about people from whom we receive a letter by the next post. I have ascertained on several occasions that at the moment when the dream occurred the letter was already lying in the post-office of the addressee.
  • Synchronistic phenomena prove the simultaneous occurrence of meaningful equivalences in heterogenous, causally unrelated processes; in other words, they prove that a content perceived by an observer can, at the same time, be represented by an outside event, without any causal connection. From this it follows either that the psyche cannot be localized in time, or that space is relative to the psyche.
  • Synchronistic events provide an immediate religious experience as a direct encounter with the compensatory patterning of events in nature as a whole, both inwardly and outwardly.
.

Thoughts on human challenges

.

Fear

  • Find out what a person fears most and that is where he will develop next.
  • If there is fear of failing, the only safety consists in deliberately jumping.
.

Envy

  • Envy does not allow humanity to sleep.
.

Pain

  • There is no coming to consciousness without pain.
  • Embrace your grief. For there, your soul will grow.
  • The foundation of all mental illness is the unwillingness to experience legitimate suffering.
  • God enters through the wound.
  • The growth of the mind is the widening of the range of consciousness, and…each step forward has been a most painful and laborious achievement.
.

Order and chaos

  • In all chaos there is a cosmos, in all disorder a secret order.
.

Addiction

  • Every form of addiction is bad, no matter whether the narcotic be alcohol or morphine or idealism.
.

Mistakes

  • Mistakes are, after all, the foundations of truth, and if a man does not know what a thing is, it is at least an increase in knowledge if he knows what it is not.
.

Criticism

  • Criticism has the power to do good when there is something that must be destroyed, dissolved, or redirected, but it is capable only of harm when there is something to be built.
.

Conflict

  • The most intense conflicts, if overcome, leave behind a sense of security and calm that is not easily disturbed. It is just these intense conflicts and their conflagration which are needed to produce valuable and lasting results.
  • Conflicts create the fire of affects and emotions; and like every fire it has two aspects: that of burning and that of giving light.
.

Repression and resistance

  • Whenever we give up, leave behind, and forget too much, there is always the danger that the things we have neglected will return with added force.
  • The reason for evil in the world is that people are not able to tell their stories.
  • What you resist, persists.
  • We cannot change anything until we accept it.  Condemnation does not liberate, it oppresses.
  • You always become the thing you fight the most.
  • The unconscious is not a demoniacal monster, but a natural entity which, as far as moral sense, aesthetic taste, and intellectual judgment go, is completely neutral.It only becomes dangerous when our conscious attitude to it is hopelessly wrong. To the degree that we repress it, its danger increases.
  • All fanaticism is repressed doubt.
  • Whenever we give up, leave behind, and forget too much, there is always the danger that the things we have neglected will return with added force.
.

Emptiness and lack of meaning

  • About a third of my cases are suffering from no clinically definable neurosis, but from the senselessness and emptiness of their lives. This can be defined as the general neurosis of our times.
  • But what will he do when he sees only too clearly why his patient is ill; when he sees that it arises from his having no love, but only sexuality; no faith, because he is afraid to grope in the dark; no hope, because he is disillusioned by the world and by life; and no understanding, because he has failed to read the meaning of his own existence?
  • Deep down, below the surface of the average man’s conscience, he hears a voice whispering, “There is something not right,” no matter how much his rightness is supported by public opinion or moral code.
  • Through pride we are ever deceiving ourselves. But deep down below the surface of the average conscience a still, small voice says to us, something is out of tune.
  • Heaven has become for us the cosmic space of the physicists… But ‘the heart glows,’ and a secret unrest gnaws at the roots of our being.
  • I have frequently seen people become neurotic when they content themselves with inadequate or wrong answers to the questions of life. They seek position, marriage, reputation, outward success of money, and remain unhappy and neurotic even when they have attained what they were seeking. Such people are usually confined within too narrow a spiritual horizon. Their life has not sufficient content, sufficient meaning. If they are enabled to develop into more spacious personalities, the neurosis generally disappears.
.

Loneliness

  • Loneliness does not come from having no people about one, but from being unable to communicate the things that seem important to oneself, or from holding certain views which others find inadmissible.
  • If a man knows more than others, he becomes lonely.
.

Growing older

  • Thoroughly unprepared, we take the step into the afternoon of life. Worse still, we take this step with the false presupposition that our truths and our ideals will serve us as hitherto. But we cannot live the afternoon of life according to the program of life’s morning, for what was great in the morning will be little at evening and what in the morning was true, at evening will have become a lie.
  • The time is a critical one, for it marks the beginning of the second half of life, when a metanoia, a mental transformation, not infrequently occurs.
  • The wine of youth does not always clear with advancing years; sometimes it grows turbid.
  • A human being would certainly not grow to be seventy or eighty years old if this longevity had no meaning for the species. The afternoon of human life must also have a significance of its own and cannot be merely a pitiful appendage to life’s morning.
  • Shrinking away from death is something unhealthy and abnormal which robs the second half of life of its purpose.
  • For a young person, it is almost a sin, or at least a danger, to be too preoccupied with himself; but for the ageing person, it is a duty and a necessity to devote serious attention to himself.
  • Life really does begin at forty. Up until then, you are just doing research.
  • We cannot live the afternoon of life according to the program of life’s morning; for what in the morning was true will in evening become a lie.
.

Shame

  • Shame is a soul eating emotion.
.

Misfortune

  • Nobody can fall so low unless he has a great depth.
  • Nobody, as long as he moves about among the chaotic currents of life, is without trouble.
  • We deem those happy who from the experience of life have learnt to bear its ills without being overcome by them.
.

Neurosis

  • Neurosis is always a substitute for legitimate suffering.
  • Neurosis is the natural by-product of pain avoidance.
  • Neurosis is the suffering of a soul which has not discovered its meaning.
  • A psychoneurosis must be understood, ultimately, as the suffering of a soul which has not discovered its meaning.
  • Contemporary man is blind to the fact that, with all his rationality and efficiency, he is possessed by “powers” that are beyond his control. His gods and demons have not disappeared at all; they have merely got new names. They keep him on the run with restlessness, vague apprehensions, psychological complications, an insatiable need for pills, alcohol, tobacco, food – and, above all, a large array of neuroses.
  • Neurosis is an inner cleavage-the state of being at war with oneself.
.

Judging

  • Thinking is difficult, that’s why most people judge.
.

Cruelty

  • The healthy man does not torture others – generally it is the tortured who turn into torturers.
.

Perfectionism

  • Perfection belongs to the Gods; the most we can hope for is excellence.
  • There is no light without shadow, and no psychic wholeness without imperfection.
.

Unhappiness

  • If you are unhappy, you are too high up in your mind.
.

Collective unconsciousness

  • The change of character brought about by the uprush of collective forces is amazing. A gentle and reasonable being can be transformed into a maniac or a savage beast. One is always inclined to lay the blame on external circumstances, but nothing could explode in us if it had not been there. As a matter of fact, we are constantly living on the edge of a volcano, and there is, so far as we know, no way of protecting ourselves from a possible outburst that will destroy everybody within reach. It is certainly a good thing to preach reason and common sense, but what if you have a lunatic asylum for an audience or a crowd in a collective frenzy? There is not much difference between them because the madman and the mob are both moved by impersonal, overwhelming forces.
  • The psychopathology of the masses is rooted in the psychology of the individual.
  • It is a fact that cannot be denied: the wickedness of others becomes our own wickedness because it kindles something evil in our own hearts.
  • The gigantic catastrophes that threaten us today are not elemental happenings of a physical or biological order, but psychic events. To a quite terrifying degree we are threatened by wars and revolutions which are nothing other than psychic epidemics. At any moment several million human beings may be smitten with a new madness, and then we shall have another world war or devastating revolution. Instead of being at the mercy of wild beasts, earthquakes, landslides, and inundations, modern man is battered by the elemental forces of his own psyche.
.

Death

  • What happens after death is so unspeakably glorious that our imagination and our feelings do not suffice to form even an approximate conception of it. The dissolution of our time-bound form in eternity brings no loss of meaning.
  • Six weeks after his death my father appeared to me in a dream… It was an unforgettable experience, and it forced me for the first time to think about life after death.
.

Thoughts on God, religion and spirituality

.

Religion

  • I have treated many hundreds of patients. Among those in the second half of life – that is to say, over 35 – there has not been one whose problem in the last resort was not that of finding a religious outlook on life. It is safe to say that every one of them fell ill because he had lost that which the living religions of every age have given their followers, and none of them has really been healed who did not regain his religious outlook.
  • The majority of my patients consisted not of believers but of those who had lost their faith.
  • If our religion is based on salvation, our chief emotions will be fear and trembling. If our religion is based on wonder, our chief emotion will be gratitude.  Carl Jung
.

God

  • God has fallen out of containment in religion and into human hearts—God is incarnating. Our whole unconscious is in an uproar from the God Who wants to know and to be known.
  • One of the main functions of organized religion is to protect people against a direct experience of God.
  • The gods have become our diseases.
  • We have forgotten the age-old fact that God speaks chiefly through dreams and visions.
  • If I accept the fact that a god is absolute and beyond all human experiences, he leaves me cold. I do not affect him, nor does he affect me. But if I know that a god is a powerful impulse in my soul, at once I must concern myself with him, for then he can become important.
  • The inner man has access to the sense organs of god.
  • Called or not, God is always there.
  • Explore daily the will of God.
  • I cannot define for you what God is. I can only say that my work has proved empirically that the pattern of God exists in every man and that this pattern has at its disposal the greatest of all his energies for transformation and transfiguration of his natural being. Not only the meaning of his life but his renewal and his institutions depend on his conscious relationship with this pattern of his collective unconscious.
  • I believe that we have no real access to who we really are except in God. Only when we rest in God can we find the safety, the spaciousness, and the scary freedom to be who we are, all that we are, more than we are, and less than we are.
  • If God wishes to be born as man and to unite mankind in the fellowship of the Holy Ghost, He suffers the terrible torment of having to bear the world in its reality. It is a crux; indeed, He Himself is His own cross. The world is God’s suffering, and every individual human being who wishes even to approach his own wholeness knows very well that this means bearing his own cross. But the eternal promise for him who bears his own cross is the Paraclete.
  • Remember that the only God man comes in contact with is his own God, called Spirit, Soul and Mind, or Consciousness, and these three are one.
  • I don’t believe there is a God. I know there is a God.
  • I find that all my thoughts circle around God like the planets around the sun, and are as irresistibly attracted by Him. I would feel it to be the grossest sin if I were to oppose any resistance to this force.
  • Man is the mirror God holds up to himself, the sense organ with which he apprehends his being.
.

Karma

  • I feel very strongly that I am under the influence of things or questions which were left incomplete and unanswered by my parents and grandparents and more distant ancestors. It often seems as if there were an impersonal karma within a family which is passed on from parents to children. It has always seemed to me that I had to answer questions which fate had posed to my forefathers, and which had not yet been answered, or as if I had to complete, or perhaps continue, things which previous ages had left unfinished.
.

Re-incarnation

  • My life often seemed to me like a story that has no beginning and no end. I had the feeling that I was an historical fragment, an excerpt for which the preceding and succeeding text was missing. I could well imagine that I might have lived in former centuries and there encountered questions I was not yet able to answer; that I had been born again because I had not fulfilled the task given to me.
.

Thoughts on art, science, psychology, astrology

.

Psychology

  • Anyone who wants to know the human psyche will learn next to nothing from experimental psychology. He would be better advised to abandon exact science, put away his scholar’s gown, bid farewell to his study, and wander with human heart throughout the world.
  • The separation of psychology from the premises of biology is purely artificial, because the human psyche lives in indissoluble union with the body.
.

Art

  • Art is a kind of innate drive that seizes a human being and makes him its instrument. The artist is not a person endowed with free will who seeks his own ends, but one who allows art to realise its purpose through him. As a human being he may have moods and a will and personal aims, but as an artist he is “man” in a higher sense— he is “collective man”— one who carries and shapes the unconscious, psychic forms of mankind.
.

Science

  • Science is not a perfect instrument, but it is a superb and invaluable tool that works harm only when taken as an end in itself.
  • Science is the art of creating suitable illusions which the fool believes or argues against, but the wise man enjoys for their beauty or their ingenuity, without being blind to the fact that they are human veils and curtains concealing the abysmal darkness of the unknowable.
  • Myth is more individual and expresses life more precisely than does science.
  • Science has destroyed even the refuge of the inner life. What was once a sheltering haven has become a place of terror.
.

Astrology

  • Astrology is of particular interest to the psychologist, since it contains a sort of psychological experience which we call projected – this means that we find the psychological facts as it were in the constellations. This originally gave rise to the idea that these factors derive from the stars, whereas they are merely in a relation of synchronicity with them. I admit that this is a very curious fact which throws a peculiar light on the structure of the human mind.
  • Astrology is one of the intuitive methods like the I Ching, geomantics, and other divinatory procedures. It is based upon the synchronicity principle, meaningful coincidence. … Astrology is a naively projected psychology in which the different attitudes and temperaments of man are represented as gods and identified with planets and zodiacal constellations.
  • Obviously astrology has much to offer psychology, but what the latter can offer its elder sister is less evident. So far as I judge, it would seem to me advantageous for astrology to take the existence of psychology into account, above all the psychology of the personality and of the unconscious.
.

More thoughts

.

Dreaming

  • Nights through dreams tell the myths forgotten by the day.
  • The dream is a little hidden door in the innermost and most secret recesses of the soul, opening into that cosmic night which was psyche long before there was any ego-consciousness, and which will remain psyche no matter how far our ego-consciousness extends.
  • The general function of dreams is to try to restore our psychological balance by producing dream material that re-establishes, in a subtle way, the total psychic equilibrium.
  • We have forgotten the age-old fact that God speaks chiefly through dreams and visions.
  • Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.
  • Dreams are the guiding words of the soul. Why should I henceforth not love my dreams and not make their riddling images into objects of my daily consideration?
  • Dreams are impartial, spontaneous products of the unconscious psyche, outside the control of the will. They are pure nature; they show us the unvarnished, natural truth, and are therefore fitted, as nothing else is, to give us back an attitude that accords with our basic human nature when our consciousness has strayed too far from its foundations and run into an impasse.
  • This whole creation is essentially subjective, and the dream is the theatre where the dreamer is at once: scene, actor, prompter, stage manager, author, audience, and critic.
.

Images and symbols

  • There is a thinking in primordial images, in symbols which are older than the historical man, which are inborn in him from the earliest times, eternally living, outlasting all generations, still make up the groundwork of the human psyche. It is only possible to live the fullest life when we are in harmony with these symbols; wisdom is a return to them.
  • It is my mind, with its store of images, that gives the world color and sound; and that supremely real and rational certainty which I can “experience” is, in its most simple form, an exceedingly complicated structure of mental images. Thus there is, in a certain sense, nothing that is directly experienced except the mind itself. Everything is mediated through the mind, translated, filtered, allegorized, twisted, even falsified by it. We are . . . enveloped in a cloud of changing and endlessly shifting images.
  • A true symbol appears only when there is a need to express what thought cannot think or what is only divined or felt.
  • The Christ-symbol is of the greatest importance for psychology in so far as it is perhaps the most highly developed and differentiated symbol of the self, apart from the figure of the Buddha.
  • I can only gaze with wonder and awe at the depths of and heights of our psychic nature. Its non-spatial universe conceals an untold abundance of images which have accumulated over millions of years of living development and become fixed in the organism….Beside this picture I would like to place the spectacle of the starry heavens at night, for the only equivalent of the universe within is the universe without; and just as I reach this world through the medium of the body, so I reach that world through the medium of the psyche.
  • The images of the unconscious place a great responsibility upon a man. Failure to understand them, or a shirking of ethical responsibility, deprives him of his wholeness and imposes a painful fragmentariness on his life.
  • As a plant produces its flower, so the psyche creates its symbols.
  • In fact, the whole of mythology could be taken as a sort of projection of the collective unconscious.
.

Introversion

  • There is no such thing as a pure introvert or extrovert. Such a person would be in the lunatic asylum.
  • Just as we might take Darwin as an example of the normal extraverted thinking type, the normal introverted thinking type could be represented by Kant. The one speaks with facts, the other relies on the subjective factor. Darwin ranges over the wide field of objective reality, Kant restricts himself to a critique of knowledge.
.

Teaching and child raising

  • An understanding heart is everything in a teacher, and cannot be esteemed highly enough. One looks back with appreciation to the brilliant teachers, but with gratitude to those who touched our human feeling. The curriculum is so much necessary raw material, but warmth is the vital element for the growing plant and for the soul of the child.
  • Children are educated by what the grown-up is and not by his talk.
  • Nothing has a stronger influence psychologically on their environment and especially on their children than the unlived life of the parent.
  • Warmth is the vital element for the growing plant and for the soul of the child.
  • In the child, consciousness rises out of the depths of unconscious psychic life, at first like separate islands, which gradually unite to form a ‘continent,’ a continuous landmass of consciousness. Progressive mental development means, in effect, extension of consciousness.
.

The collective unconscious

  • We shall probably get nearest to the truth if we think of the conscious and personal psyche as resting upon the broad basis of an inherited and universal psychic disposition which is as such unconscious, and that our personal psyche bears the same relation to the collective psyche as the individual to society.
  • The collective unconscious consists of the sum of the instincts and their correlates, the archetypes. Just as everybody possesses instincts, so he also possesses a stock of archetypal images.
  • The collective unconscious contains the whole spiritual heritage of mankind’s evolution born anew in the brain structure of every individual.
.

Women

  • A particularly beautiful woman is a source of terror. As a rule, a beautiful woman is a terrible disappointment.
  • Every man carries within himself the eternal image of woman, not the image of this or that particular woman, but a definite feminine image. This image is fundamentally unconscious, a hereditary factor of primordial origin.
  • Every Mother contains her daughter in herself and every daughter her mother and every mother extends backwards into her mother and forwards into her daughter.
.

Healing

  • We don’t really heal anything; we simply let it go.
  • Healing proceeds from the depths to the heights.
  • Healing comes only from that which leads the patient beyond himself and beyond his entanglements with ego.
  • We don’t get wounded alone and we don’t heal alone.
  • Only the wounded physician heals.
  • Just imagine what would happen if practicing physicians, the ones who have come into contact directly with suffering humanity, had some acquaintance with Eastern systems of healing. The Spirit of the East surges through every pore as a balm for all afflictions.
.

Public and personal morality

  • Observance of customs and laws can very easily be a cloak for a lie so subtle that our fellow human beings are unable to detect it. It may help us to escape all criticism, we may even be able to deceive ourselves in the belief of our obvious righteousness. But deep down, below the surface of the average man’s conscience, he hears a voice whispering, ‘There is something not right,’ no matter how much his rightness is supported by public opinion or by the moral code.
.

Success

  • To be normal is the ultimate aim of the unsuccessful.
  • The achievements which society rewards are won at the cost of diminution of personality.
.

More thoughts

  • As a child I felt myself to be alone, and I am still, because I know things and must hint at things which others apparently know nothing of, and for the most part do not want to know.
  • Colors express the main psychic functions of man.
  • Everyone is in love with his own ideas.
  • For two personalities to meet is like mixing two chemical substances: if there is any combination at all, both are transformed.
  • I am looking forward enormously to getting back to the sea again, where the overstimulated psyche can recover in the presence of that infinite peace and spaciousness.
  • I deliberately and consciously give preference to a dramatic, mythological way of thinking and speaking, because this is not only more expressive but also more exact than an abstract scientific terminology, which is wont to toy with the notion that its theoretic formulations may one fine day be resolved into algebraic equations.
  • I have always been impressed by the fact that there are a surprising number of individuals who never use their minds if they can avoid it, and an equal number who do use their minds, but in an amazingly stupid way.
  • I think that one should view with philosophic admiration the strange paths of the libido and should investigate the purposes of its circuitous ways.
  • If one does not understand a person, one tends to regard him as a fool.
  • That which compels us to create a substitute for ourselves is not the external lack of objects, but our incapacity to lovingly include a thing outside of ourselves
  • The cinema, like the detective story, enables us to experience without danger to ourselves all the excitements, passions, and fantasies which have to be repressed in a humanistic age.
  • The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.
  • The pendulum of the mind oscillates between sense and nonsense, not between right and wrong.
  • The shoe that fits one person pinches another; there is no recipe for living that suits all cases.
  • The sight of a child…will arouse certain longings in adult, civilized persons — longings which relate to the unfulfilled desires and needs of those parts of the personality which have been blotted out of the total picture in favor of the adapted persona.
  • The starry vault of heaven is in truth the open book of cosmic projection.
  • The undiscovered vein within us is a living part of the psyche; classical Chinese philosophy names this interior way “Tao,” and likens it to a flow of water that moves irresistibly towards its goal. To rest in Tao means fulfillment, wholeness, one’s destination reached, one’s mission done; the beginning, end, and perfect realization of the meaning of existence innate in all things.
  • We are born at a given moment, in a given place, and like vintage years of wine, we have the qualities of the year and of the season in which we are born.
  • You are what you do, not what you say you’ll do.
  • The man who promises everything is sure to fulfil nothing, and everyone who promises too much is in danger of using evil means in order to carry out his promises, and is already on the road to perdition.
  • In my case Pilgrim’s Progress consisted in my having to climb down a thousand ladders until I could reach out my hand to the little clod of earth that I am.
  • Man is not a machine that can be remodelled for quite other purposes as occasion demands, in the hope that it will go on functioning as regularly as before but in a quite different way. He carries his whole history with him; in his very structure is written the history of mankind.
  • We are in a far better position to observe instincts in animals or in primitives than in ourselves. This is due to the fact that we have grown accustomed to scrutinizing our own actions and to seeking rational explanations for them.
  • Our souls as well as our bodies are composed of individual elements which were all already present in the ranks of our ancestors. The “newness” in the individual psyche is an endlessly varied recombination of age-old components.
  • The most important question anyone can ask is: What myth am I living?
  • Complexes are psychic contents which are outside the control of the conscious mind. They have been split off from consciousness and lead a separate existence in the unconscious, being at all times ready to hinder or to reinforce the conscious intentions.
  • We must be able to let things happen in the psyche. For us, this becomes a real art… Consciousness is forever interfering, helping, correcting, and negating, never leaving the single growth of the psychic processes in peace.
  • To ask the right question is already half the solution of a problem.
  • Everyone you meet knows something you don’t know but need to know. Learn from them.
  • Naturally, every age thinks that all ages before it were prejudiced, and today we think this more than ever and are just as wrong as all previous ages that thought so. How often have we not seen the truth condemned! It is sad but unfortunately true that man learns nothing from history.
.

On a lighter note

  • Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you.
  • There is no such thing as a pure introvert or extrovert. Such a person would be in the lunatic asylum.
  • Twelve experts gathered in one room equal one big idiot.
.
.