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• Emotional intelligence is the ability to sense, understand, and effectively apply the power and acumen of emotions as a source of human energy, information, connection, and influence. Robert K. Cooper. Ph.D.
• Emotional intelligence: The capacity to be aware of, control, and express one’s emotions, and to handle interpersonal relationships judiciously and empathetically. Oxford Dictionary
• Emotional intelligence: The ability to process emotional information, particularly as it involves the perception, assimilation, understanding, and management of emotion. Mayer and Cobb
• The emotionally intelligent person is skilled in four areas: identifying emotions, using emotions, understanding emotions, and regulating emotions. John Mayer and Peter Salovey
• We define emotional intelligence as the subset of social intelligence that involves the ability to monitor one’s own and others’ feelings and emotions, to discriminate among them and to use this information to guide one’s thinking and actions. Salovey and Mayer
• Emotional Intelligence refers to the capacity for recognising our own feelings and those of others, for motivating ourselves, and for managing emotions well in ourselves and our relationships. Daniel Goleman
• Emotional intelligence is a different way of being smart. It includes knowing what your feelings are and using your feelings to make good decisions in life. It’s being able to manage distressing moods well and control impulses. It’s being motivated and remaining hopeful and optimistic when you have setbacks in working toward goals. It’s empathy; knowing what the people around you are feeling. And its social skill—getting along well with other people, managing emotions in relationships, being able to persuade or lead others. O’Neil, 1996
• Emotional Intelligence is a way of recognizing, understanding, and choosing how we think, feel, and act. It shapes our interactions with others and our understanding of ourselves. It defines how and what we learn; it allows us to set priorities; it determines the majority of our daily actions. Research suggests it is responsible for as much as 80% of the “success” in our lives.” Freedman
• Emotion,  Awareness,  Intelligence,  Self-knowledge,  Wisdom

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Emotional intelligence is important for success and excellence …

• Learning how to become emotionally literate is one of the best investments that human beings can make for themselves, their children, and the future. Ayman Sawaf
• What really matters for success, character, happiness and life long achievements is a definite set of emotional skills –your EQ — not just purely cognitive abilities that are measured by conventional IQ tests. Daniel Goleman
• As much as 80% of adult success comes from EQ. Daniel Goleman
• Emotional Intelligence is a way of recognizing, understanding, and choosing how we think, feel, and act. It shapes our interactions with others and our understanding of ourselves. It defines how and what we learn; it allows us to set priorities; it determines the majority of our daily actions. Research suggests it is responsible for as much as 80% of the success” in our lives. J. Freedman
• In a study of skills that distinguish star performers in every field from entry- level jobs to executive positions, the single most important factor was not IQ, advanced degrees, or technical experience, it was EQ. Of the competencies required for excellent in performance in the job studies, 67% were emotional competencies. Daniel Goleman
• People high in emotional intelligence are expected to progress more quickly through the abilities designated and to master more of them. Mayer and Salovey
• If your emotional abilities aren’t in hand, if you don’t have self-awareness, if you are not able to manage your distressing emotions, if you can’t have empathy and have effective relationships, then no matter how smart you are, you are not going to get very far. Daniel Goleman
• But once you are in that field, emotional intelligence emerges as a much stronger predictor of who will be most successful, because it is how we handle ourselves in our relationships that determines how well we do once we are in a given job. Daniel Goleman
• In a high-IQ job pool, soft skills like discipline, drive and empathy mark those who emerge as outstanding. Daniel Goleman
• In the last decade or so, science has discovered a tremendous amount about the role emotions play in our lives. Researchers have found that even more than IQ, your emotional awareness and abilities to handle feelings will determine your success and happiness in all walks of life, including family relationships. John Gottman
• People high in emotional intelligence are expected to progress more quickly through the abilities designated and to master more of them. Mayer & Salovey
• Success,  Excellence

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… in all aspects of life

• In the last decade or so, science has discovered a tremendous amount about the role emotions play in our lives. Researchers have found that even more than IQ, your emotional awareness and abilities to handle feelings will determine our success and happiness in all walks of life, including family relationships. John Gottman

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Emotional intelligence is especially important for leaders

• Comparing the three domains, I found that for jobs of all kinds, emotional competencies were twice as prevalent among distinguishing competencies as were technical skills and purely cognitive abilities combined. In general, the higher a position in an organization, the more EI mattered: for individuals in leadership positions, 85 percent of their competencies were in the EI domain. Daniel Goleman
• Emotional intelligence also matters. As Dick Kovacevich of Wells Fargo says, “Above the 99th percentile of intelligence, there is an inverse correlation between leadership and intelligence.” In other words, many exceptionally intelligent leaders try to be the smartest person in the room and impose their views. They don’t get the best out of their people. Leadership is about much more than IQ, and requires you to develop yourself through the mosaic of all your experiences. Bill George
• Leadership

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Emotional intelligence gives us access to our other intelligences like reasoning and creativity

• Emotional competence is the single most important personal quality that each of us must develop and access to experience a breakthrough. Only through managing our emotions can we access our intellect and our technical competence. An emotionally competent person performs better under pressure.  Dave Lennick, Executive VP, American Express Financial Advisers
• Emotions are enmeshed in the neural networks of reason. Antonio Dumasio
• Emotions have taught mankind to reason. Luc de Clapiers, marquis de Vauvenargues
• People in good moods are better at inductive reasoning and creative problem solving. Salovey, Mayer, Goldman, Turvey, and Palfai
• Reason,  Creativity

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Emotional intelligence matters more than personality and IQ

• I think in the coming decade we will see well-conducted research demonstrating that emotional skills and competencies predict positive outcomes at home with one’s family, in school, and at work. The real challenge is to show that emotional intelligence matters over-and-above psychological constructs that have been measured for decades like personality and IQ. I believe that emotional intelligence holds this promise. Peter Salovey
• Personality,  Intelligence

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Emotional intelligence is important for self-control and will power

• Just imagine you’re four years old, and someone makes the following proposal: If you’ll wait until after he runs an errand, you can have two marshmallows for a treat. If you can’t wait until then, you can have only one–but you can have it right now. It is a challenge sure to try the soul of any four-year-old, a microcosm of the eternal battle between impulse and restraint, id and ego, desire and self-control, gratification and delay… There is perhaps no psychological skill more fundamental than resisting impulse. It is the root of all emotional self-control, since all emotions, by their very nature, led to one or another impulse to act. Daniel Goleman
• Self-control,  Will power

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Emotional intelligence is important for learning

• All learning has an emotional base. Plato
• Emotions are a critical source of information for learning. Joseph LeDoux
• There is no separation of mind and emotions; emotions, thinking, and learning are all linked. Eric Jensen
• Learning

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Lack of emotional intelligence comes at a high price

• 75% of careers are derailed for reasons related to emotional competencies, including inability to handle interpersonal problems; unsatisfactory team leadership during times of difficulty or conflict; or inability to adapt to change or elicit trust. The Centre for Creative Leadership
• If we lack emotional intelligence, whenever stress rises the human brain switches to autopilot and has an inherent tendency to do more of the same, only harder. Which, more often than not, is precisely the wrong approach in today’s world. Robert K. Cooper

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EQ and IQ are not correlated

• There is zero correlation between IQ and emotional empathy… They’re controlled by different parts of the brain. Daniel Goleman
• Even though a high IQ is no guarantee of prosperity, prestige, or happiness in life, our schools and our culture fixate on academic abilities, ignoring the emotional intelligence that also matters immensely for our personal destiny. Daniel Goleman

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Stephen Covey shares the five primary components of emotional intelligence:

• Self-Awareness — The ability to reflect on one’s own life, grow in self- knowledge, and use that knowledge to improve oneself and either consume or compensate for weaknesses.
• Personal Motivation — What really excites people —the vision, values, goals, hopes, desires, and passion that make up their priorities.
• Self-Regulation — The ability to manage oneself toward achieving one’s vision and values.
• Empathy — The ability to see how other people see and feel about things.
• Social Skills — How people resolve differences, solve problems, produce creative solutions, and interact optimally to further their joint purposes.
• Source:   Stephen Covey

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1.  Self-awareness

• Self-awareness is not an attention that gets carried away by emotions, overreacting and amplifying what is perceived. Rather, it is a neutral mode that maintains self-reflectiveness even amidst turbulent emotions. Daniel Goleman
• If your emotional abilities aren’t in hand, if you don’t have self-awareness, if you are not able to manage your distressing emotions, if you can’t have empathy and have effective relationships, then no matter how smart you are, you are not going to get very far. Daniel Goleman
• When awareness is brought to an emotion, power is brought to your life. Tara Meyer Robson
• We can’t control what thoughts and emotions arise within us, nor can we control the universal truth that everything changes. But we can learn to step back and rest in the awareness of what’s happening. That awareness can be our refuge. Sharon Salzberg
• If you don’t know what you are feeling, you will create unconsciously. If you are unconscious of an aspect of yourself; if it operates outside your field of awareness, that aspect has power over you. Gary Zukav
• Experiencing one’s self in a conscious manner–that is, gaining self- knowledge–is an integral part of learning. Joshua M. Freedman
• Self-awareness

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2.   Personal motivation

• Change happens in the boiler room of our emotions — so find out how to light their fires. Jeff Dewar
• Emotional talent is the capacity to stimulate and draw upon our natural fountain of energy—to learn to blow into our own sails. We develop emotional talent not by relying on motivation all the time but by applying our will no matter how we feel. Dan Millman
• Motivation is a fire from within. If someone else tries to light that fire under you, chances are it will burn very briefly. Stephen Covey
• Inspiration is external and motivation is internal. It is up to me to provide the switch and you to flip it on! Tricia Cunningham
• I set myself on fire and people come to watch me burn. John Wesley
• One of the strongest characteristics of genius is the power of lighting its own fire. John W.Foster
• We’re all on different paths, but action is hard work and you must drive your own soul. Terri Guillemets
• The mind, with its emotions, is composed of ideas and impressions, and it is healthy and vital when it is continually replenished with inspiration, confidence, hope, wisdom, and understanding. No man lives long without food of the spirit. Ervin Seale
• If we ignore our emotional and physical fuel gauge and just keep driving and driving and driving, sooner or later we’re going to run out of gas. Brian Johnson
• Motivation

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3.   Empathy

• Empathy and social skills are social intelligence, the interpersonal part of emotional intelligence. That’s why they look alike. Daniel Goleman
• When you listen with empathy to another person, you give that person psychological air. Stephen Covey
• A prerequisite to empathy is simply paying attention to the person in pain. Daniel Goleman
• Motivation aside, if people get better at these life skills, everyone benefits: The brain doesn’t distinguish between being a more empathic manager and a more empathic father. Daniel Goleman
• Empathy is putting yourself in another’s shoes to find out what exactly that person is feeling or going through at the given time. It basically refers to being at a common wavelength with someone. Deepa Kodikal
• Empathy depends not only on one’s ability to identify someone else’s emotions but also on one’s capacity to put oneself in the other person’s place and to experience an appropriate emotional response. Charles G. Morris
• To me, empathy and compassion are among the bravest of emotions … and faith, the bravest of convictions. Gerard de Marigny
• The use of imaginative fiction is to deepen your understanding of your world, and your fellow men, and your own feelings, and your destiny. Ursula K. Le Guin
• Empathy

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4.   Social Skills

• Empathy and social skills are social intelligence, the interpersonal part of emotional intelligence. That’s why they look alike. Daniel Goleman
• The more socially intelligent you are, the happier and more robust and more enjoyable your relationships will be. Daniel Goleman
• When dealing with people, remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but with creatures of emotion. Dale Carnegie
• Be not disturbed at being misunderstood; be disturbed rather at not being understanding. Chinese proverb
• The greatest ability in business is to get along with others and influence their actions. John Hancock
• When you make people angry, they act in accordance with their baser instincts, often violently and irrationally. When you inspire people, they act in accordance with their higher instincts, sensibly and rationally. Also, anger is transient, whereas inspiration sometimes has a life-long effect. Peace Pilgrim
• I consider social skills a bit like learning a language. I’ve been practising it for so long over so many years I’ve almost lost my accent. Daniel Tammet
• We’re losing social skills, the human interaction skills, how to read a person’s mood, to read their body language, how to be patient until the moment is right to make or press a point. Too much exclusive use of electronic information dehumanises what is a very, very important part of community life and living together. Vincent Nichols
• The most basic of all human needs is the need to understand and be understood. Ralph Nichols
• The people with whom you work reflect your own attitude. If you are suspicious, unfriendly and condescending, you will find theses unlovely traits echoed all about you.  But if you are on your best behavior, you will bring out the best in the persons with whom you are going to spend most of your working hours.  Beatrice Vincent
• Your career success in the workplace of today – independent of technical expertise – depends on the quality of your people skills. Max Messmer
• The most important single ingredient in the formula of success is knowing how to get along with people. Teddy Roosevelt

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5.   Self-control

• Maturity is achieved when a person postpones immediate pleasures for long- term values. Joshua L. Liebman
• To increase your effectiveness, make your emotions subordinate to your commitments. Brian Koslow
• One way to boost our will power and focus is to manage our distractions instead of letting them manage us. Daniel Goleman
• People with good self-control mainly use it not for rescue in emergencies but rather to develop effective habits and routines in school and at work. Roy Baumeister
• Self-control is a vital strength and key to success in life. Roy Baumeister
• To enjoy freedom, we have to control ourselves. Virginia Woolf
• The greatest strength and wealth is self-control. Pythagoras
• People with high self-control consistently report less stress in their lives. They use their self- control not to get through crises but to avoid them. They give themselves enough time to finish a project; they take the car to the shop before it breaks down; they stay away from all- you- can-eat buffets. They play offense instead of defense. Roy Baumeister
• Self-control is a better predictor of academic success than intelligence, a stronger determinant of effective leadership than charisma, and more important for marital bliss than empathy. If we want to improve our lives, willpower is not a bad place to start. Kelly McGonigal
• Self-control

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We don’t have control over emotion, but we can control how we respond

• …no one can do a thing about feelings, they exist and there’s no way to censor them. We can reproach ourselves for some action, for a remark, but not for a feeling, quite simply because we have no control at all over it. Milan Kundera
• One can be the master of what one does, but never of what one feels. Gustave Flaubert
• Any emotion, if it is sincere, is involuntary. Mark Twain
• Emotions come and go and can’t be controlled so there’s no reason to worry about them. That in the end, people should be judged by their actions since in the end it was actions that defined everyone. Nicholas Sparks
• You cannot make yourself feel something you do not feel, but you can make yourself do right in spite of your feelings. Pearl S. Buck
• As human beings, we all experience a wide range of emotions. We often don’t choose the emotions we encounter, but we can choose what to do with them. Amanda Harvey
• Don’t wrestle with the bad feeling, don’t fight the problem; do and act the best you know in spite of how you feel, and return to your center of inward sovereignty and walk on. Ervin Seale
• There is also a huge difference between allowing ourselves to fully experience our emotions, and feeling compelled to act on them. Action is always a matter of choice. Amanda Harvey
• Let’s not forget that the little emotions are the great captains of our lives and we obey them without realizing it. Vincent van Gogh
• Feelings are much like waves, we can’t stop them from coming but we can choose which one to surf. Jonatan Mårtensson
• We’ve all got both light and dark inside us. What matters is the part we choose to act on. That’s who we really are. J.K. Rowling
• To increase your effectiveness, make your emotions subordinate to your commitments. Brian Koslow
• We are dangerous when we are not conscious of our responsibility for how we behave, think, and feel. Marshall B. Rosenberg
• We cannot tell what may happen to us in the strange medley of life. But we can decide what happens in us — how we can take it, what we do with it —- and that is what really counts in the end. Joseph Fort Newton
• What we don’t control

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We can manage emotion to a certain extent through thought

• The way we feel is the direct result of what we think. Pete Cohen
• You mainly feel the way you think. Albert Ellis
• When we identify an irrational thought (a cognitive distortion), we change the way we think about an event and thereby change the way we feel. Tal Ben- Shahar
• When we direct our thoughts properly, we can control our emotions. Clement Stone
• Thinking

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We can manage emotion through action

• Logic will not change an emotion, but action will.
• It is easier to act yourself into a better way of feeling than to feel yourself into a better way of action. O.H. Mowrer
• Behavior wags the tail of feelings… We do, then we feel. Feelings follow behavior. David Reynolds
• Most of us believe an emotion, such as happiness, comes first. Then we do whatever we do, in reaction to that particular emotion. Not so. The emotion arises simultaneously with the doing of the act. So if you want to be enthusiastic, you can get there by acting as if you were already enthusiastic. Steve Chandler
• If you are feeling down, force yourself to engage in activities that you have found pleasurable in the past. Even if they don’t seem appealing right now, they will help you start to overcome apathy, indifference, and lack of energy that are major symptoms of depression. Robert W. Firestone
• We must act out passion before we can feel it. Jean-Paul Sartre
• You’re more likely to act yourself into feeling than feel yourself into action. So act! Whatever it is you know you should do, do it. Jerome Brunet
• Do it now, feel better later. Robert Leahy, Ph.D.
• Action

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We can manage emotion through meditation and mindfulness

• Mindful meditation has been discovered to foster the ability to inhibit those very quick emotional impulses. Daniel Goleman
• If you are doing mindfulness meditation, you are doing it with your ability to attend to the moment. Daniel Goleman
• If you do a practice and train your attention to hover in the present, then you will build the internal capacity to do that as needed – at will and voluntarily. Daniel Goleman
• Feelings come and go like clouds in a windy sky. Conscious breathing is my anchor. Thich Nhat Hanh
• We must become acquainted with our emotional household: we must see our feelings as they actually are, not as we assume they are. This breaks their hypnotic and damaging hold on us. Vernon Howard
• Watch your emotional responses with detachment (i.e. sense their physiological effect on your body and breathing.) Observe them. Feel them but calmly, not tensed up. The emotion will move through you and soften up. Unblock emotions in this way. Bob Parsons
• Your practice is to become a curious witness to your feelings so that feelings become more familiar and less scary. Ultimately, you will notice that feelings aren’t permanent, that they change and move through us, if we let them. Rivka Simmons
• Meditation,  Mindfulness,  Let go of emotions through mindfulness

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• The basic premise that children must learn about emotions is that all feelings are okay to have; however, only some reactions are okay. Daniel Goleman
• Emotional intelligence begins to develop in the earliest years. All the small exchanges children have with their parents, teachers, and with each other carry emotional messages. Daniel Goleman
• People tend to become more emotionally intelligent as they age and mature. Daniel Goleman

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