Not all see God in a positive light

• Strange a God who mouths Golden Rules and forgiveness, then invented hell; who mouths morals to other people and has none Himself; who frowns upon crimes yet commits them all; who created man without invitation, then tries to shuffle the responsibility for man’s acts upon man, instead of honorably placing it where it belongs, upon Himself; and finally with altogether divine obtuseness, invites this poor, abused slave to worship Him! Mark Twain
• The idea that God works in mysterious ways is rubbish. There’s nothing mysterious about his ways. They’re premeditated and slightly conniving, and they place you in an impossible situation. Melina Marchetta
• God: a disease we imagine we are cured of because no one dies of it nowadays. Emile M. Cioran
• I don’t know if God exists, but it would be better for His reputation if He didn’t. Jules Renard
• For an omnipotent and omniscient being, God has made some really lousy earthly staffing decisions. John Cole
• If there is a God, his plan is very similar to someone not having a plan. Eddie Izzard

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…especially by those who view the universe in a negative light

• In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move. Douglas Adams
• And I can see that everything about this God has been purposely designed to poison our experience of life on earth, not to enhance it, to keep us fearful, to suppress knowledge, to curtail freedom and creativity, and to celebrate death. It’s nothing less than the sanctified dumbing-down of the human race. And demanding respect for it is frankly an insult that deserves to be repaid with considerable interest. Pat Condell

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God is seen as a sloppy creator with a quality control problem

• The biblical God is a sloppy manufacturer. He’s not good at design, he’s not good at execution. He’d be out of business, if there was any competition. Carl Sagan
• If God created everything, he’s got a serious quality control problem. George Carlin
• How much reverence can you have for a Supreme Being who finds it necessary to include such phenomena as phlegm and tooth decay in His divine system of creation? Joseph Heller
• My feeling is, quite simply, that if there is a God, He has done such a bad job that he isn’t worth discussing. Isaac Asimov
• If God is omnipotent and omniscient, why didn’t he start the universe out in the first place so it would come out the way he wants? Why’s he constantly repairing and complaining? No, there’s one thing the Bible makes clear: The biblical God is a sloppy manufacturer. He’s not good at design, he’s not good at execution. He’d be out of business, if there was any competition. Carl Sagan
• A god whose creation is so imperfect that he must be continually adjusting it to make it work properly seems to me a god of relatively low order, hardly worthy of any worship. Martin Gardner
• The human body was designed by a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area ? Robin Williams

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God is seen as senile and incompetent

• All your Western theologies, the whole mythology of them, are based on the concept of God as a senile delinquent. Tennessee Williams
• At best, God can be viewed as nothing more than an uncaring incompetent father-figure. George Carlin
• God is either cruel or incompetent. Woody Allen
• At best, God can be viewed as nothing more than an uncaring incompetent father-figure. George Carlin

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God is seen as a bad father

• God sounds kinda like a shitty father to me. If God was so powerful why’d he have to give his son up? It sounds like God owed someone some money and they couldn’t get to him, so they murked his son. That’s what I really think happened. Jesus got stabbed up in an alley… but it’s easier to sell crucifixes. You can’t sell a pendant of someone getting shanked up In the alley. It’s a marketing scheme. Hannibal Buress
• It’s a horrible idea that God, this paragon of wisdom and knowledge, power, couldn’t think of a better way to forgive us our sins than to come down to Earth in his alter ego as his son and have himself hideously tortured and executed so that he could forgive himself. Richard Dawkins
• I wish I was still an atheist. Believing I was born into a harsh, uncaring cosmos – in which my existence was a random roll of the dice and I was destined to die and rot and then be gone forever – was infinitely more comforting than the truth. Because the truth is that my God is coming back. When he arrives I’ll be waiting for him with a shotgun. And I’m keeping the last shell for myself. Charles Stross

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God is seen to make mistakes

• When we make mistakes they call it evil. When God makes mistakes they call it Nature! Jack Nicholson

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God is seen to still be trying to work things out

• I have often a suspicion God is still trying to work things out and hasn’t finished. Rebecca West

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God is seen to be forgetful

• Droughts are because God didn’t pay his water bill. Rod Schmidt

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God is seen as a child

• What is God after all? An eternal child playing an eternal game in an eternal garden. Sri Aurobindo
• God is a child who amuses himself, going from laughing to crying for no reason, each day reinventing the world to the chagrin of hair-splitters, pedants, and preachers, who try to teach God his job as Creator. Elie Faure

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God is seen to be financially challenged

• Imagine what God could have done if he’d had money. Roger Miller
• To see so much misery everywhere, I suspect that God is not rich. He keeps up appearances, it is true, but I feel the pinch. He gives a revolution as a merchant, whose credit is low, gives a ball. Victor Hugo

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God is seen to be a committee or board

• It is impossible to imagine the universe run by a wise, just and omnipotent God, but it is quite easy to imagine it run by a board of gods. L. Mencken
• The world is proof that God is a committee. Bob Stokes

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God is seen as drunk and stoned

• Do you think God gets stoned? I think so … look at the platypus. Robin Williams
• If rain is God crying, I think God is drunk and his girlfriend just slept with Zeus. Chuck Klosterman
• I prefer to think that God is not dead, just drunk. John Marcellus Huston

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God is seen as inefficient

• God works in mysterious, inefficient, and breathtakingly cruel ways. Penn Jillette

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God is seen to have messed things up

• He — and if there is a God, I am convinced he is a he, because no woman could or would ever f**k things up this badly. George Carlin
• No woman could or would ever fuck things up like this. So, if there is a God, I think most reasonable people might agree that he’s at least incompetent, and maybe, just maybe, doesn’t give a shit. Doesn’t give a shit, which I admire in a person, and which would explain a lot of these bad results. George Carlin
• Something is wrong here. War, disease, death, destruction, hunger, filth, poverty, torture, crime, corruption, and the Ice Capades. Something is definitely wrong. This is not good work. If this is the best God can do, I am not impressed. Results like these do not belong on the résumé of a Supreme Being. This is the kind of shit you’d expect from an office temp with a bad attitude. And just between you and me, in any decently-run universe, this guy would’ve been out on his all-powerful ass a long time ago. And by the way, I say “this guy”, because I firmly believe, looking at these results, that if there is a God, it has to be a man. George Carlin

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God is seen as far from all powerful

• If God cares about our puny species, then disasters prove that he is not all-powerful; and if he is all-powerful, then clearly he doesn’t give a damn. Barbara Ehrenreich

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God is seen as imperfect

• What gave you this idea of an imperfect god?’ ‘I don’t know. It seems quite feasible to me. That is the only god I could imagine believing in, a god whose passion is not a redemption, who saves nothing, fulfills no purpose–a god who simply is. Stanislaw Lem
• God may still be in His Heaven, but there is more than sufficient evidence that all is not right with the world. Irwin Edman

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God is seen as conniving

• Your God person puts an apple tree in the middle of a garden and says, do what you like, guys, oh, but don’t eat the apple. Surprise surprise, they eat it and he leaps out from behind a bush shouting “Gotcha”. It wouldn’t have made any difference if they hadn’t eaten it.’ ‘Why not?’ ‘Because if you’re dealing with somebody who has the sort of mentality which likes leaving hats on the pavement with bricks under them you know perfectly well they won’t give up. They’ll get you in the end. Douglas Adams

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God exists to be berated

• A religious friend of mine once remarked that the concept of god is useful, because you can berate god during the bad times. But it is clear to me that I don’t need to believe there is a god in order to berate him. Robert M. Sapolsky

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Those who see God like this bring up the problem of evil

• The problem of vindicating an omnipotent and omniscient God in the face of evil is insurmountable. Those who claim to have surmounted it, by recourse to notions of free will and other incoherencies, have merely heaped bad philosophy onto bad ethics. Sam Harris
• Did the devil make the world while God was sleeping? Tom Waits
• Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able? Then he is not omnipotent. Is he able, but not willing? Then he is malevolent. Is he both able and willing? Then whence cometh evil? Is he neither able nor willing? Then why call him God? Epicurus

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Some use this view of God to say God does not actually exist

• There never was a God. ‘God is dead’ is a halfway measure I won’t go with. Penn Jillette
• I can’t prove that God doesn’t exist, but I’d much rather live in a universe without one. Lawrence M. Krauss
• God: A disease we imagine we are cured of because no one dies of it nowadays. Emile M. Cioran