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Mentally accept your job loss rather than resisting it

• Accept reality. While it’s important to acknowledge how difficult job loss and unemployment can be, it’s equally important to avoid wallowing. Rather than dwelling on your job loss—how unfair it is; how poorly it was handled; things you could have done to prevent it; how much better life would be if it hadn’t happened—try to accept the situation. The sooner you do, the sooner you can get on with the next phase in your life. Robert Segal
• Let go of the way life should have gone. Resisting the job loss causes more pain. Sometimes you know why you were fired, sometimes you just don’t. Don’t waste any time figuring it out. Be mature about anything you feel may have contributed to it. See the difference between reality and illusion (reality is you lost your job, illusion is you’ll never find another job.) Take a moment to go inside yourself, get silent and listen to your intuition. Some of your best ideas will come when you slow down enough and tune in. Ariane de Bonvoisin
• Acceptance,  Non-resistance

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Don’t blame or get addicted to your story

• Don’t rehash the story. Blame never accomplishes anything. Don’t get addicted to your story: Why you got fired or how unlucky you are. It will hold you back. There is no shame or embarrassment to be had. Every successful person has lost a job at some stage. Instead of feeling shame, honor this as just a life change that will make you stronger. Stick around optimistic people, not victim circles. Ask yourself, “Who are you not thinking of that can help you?” And also, “Who is holding you back?”  Ariane de Bonvoisin
• Blaming

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Face your feelings …

• Take some time and just let it sink in. Take a deep breath. Stay in the moment. Whatever emotions you’re experiencing during this unexpected time, give yourself permission to feel them. Cry. Get angry. Feel sad, helpless, frightened or maybe even liberated. Just allow yourself to feel those emotions so you can move on and find an even greater destiny. Ariane de Bonvoisin
• Validate your right to feel miserable. You’re a human being. You have a right to feel unhappy.  Robert L. Leahy
• Face your feelings. Fear, depression, and anxiety will make it harder to get back on the job market, so it’s important to actively deal with your feelings and find healthy ways to grieve. Acknowledging your feelings and challenging your negative thoughts will help you deal with the loss and move on. Robert Segal
• Talk to a trusted friend or family member about what you’re going through. He or she doesn’t have to offer solutions, just be a good listener. The simple act of sharing can often make you feel better. Robert Segal
• Write about your feelings. Express everything you feel about being laid off or unemployed, including things you wish you had said (or hadn’t said) to your former boss. This is especially cathartic if your layoff or termination was handled in an insensitive way. Robert Segal
• Emotions,  Letting go of emotions through mindfulness

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… including any feelings of grief and loss

• Grief is a natural response to loss, and that includes the loss of a job. Losing your job takes forces you to make rapid changes. You may feel angry, hurt, panicked, rejected, and scared. What you need to know is that these emotions are normal. You have every right to be upset, so accept your feelings and go easy on yourself. Robert Segal
• Mourn your loss. While your financial position will influence this time period, even if you can only afford 24 hours this process is critical before you can begin to move forward.  Joanne Tombrakos
• Grief,  Loss

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Practice relaxation techniques

• Practice relaxation techniques. Relaxation techniques such as deep breathing, meditation, and yoga are a powerful antidote to stress. They also boost your feelings of serenity and joy and teach you how to stay calm and collected in challenging situations—including job loss and unemployment. Robert Segal
• Relaxation,  Calmness

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Turn to people for support and stay connected to others

• Stay connected to other people. You may not feel like going out, making plans, showing up, or talking to other people. But prod yourself to make the effort. Seeing other people will give you a boost and will help distract you. Also, by staying connected to other people, you’re more likely to hear information and to create relationships that might be helpful in the jobs arena. Gretchen Rubin
• One of the biggest mistakes I see people make is not engaging with others when unemployed. The shame of job loss can scare people away from healthy and productive social interactions. But that only increases the negative pressure on an already stressful situation. Whether you participate in social networking, real- life networking in your industry, volunteering or taking a class, DeVito says putting yourself out in the world is often the path to new ideas, opportunities and energy. Yes, even when you’d rather retreat and stay home alone. Katie DeVito
• Taking refuge in your “cave” may provide temporary comfort, but is little help if your time spent there is not constructive. Surrounding yourself with positive, supportive family and friends may better help your self-esteem. The University of Georgia
• Turn to people you trust for support. Share what you’re going through with the people you love and trust. Ask for the support you need. Don’t try to shoulder the stress of job loss and unemployment alone. Your natural reaction may be to withdraw out of embarrassment and shame or to resist asking for help out of pride. But avoid the tendency to isolate. You will only feel worse.  Robert Segal
• Connection

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See a psychologist if you continue to struggle emotionally

• See a psychologist. If your employer has an Employee Assistance Program, all the better. Find a professional to talk about your situation. I did this and it was the best thing I did to validate my assessment of my new reality. Ellen Dorle
• Psychology

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Adopt a positive mindset and attitude

• If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude. Maya Angelou
• Whenever you are asked if you can do a job, tell ‘em, ‘Certainly I can!’ Then get busy and find out how to do it. Theodore Roosevelt
• The last of human freedoms – the ability to chose one’s attitude in a given set of circumstances. Viktor E. Frankl
• Attitude,  Positivity

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List your positives to increase your self belief

• List your positives. Make a list of all the things you like about yourself, including skills, personality traits, accomplishments, and successes. Write down projects you’re proud of, situations where you excelled, and things you’re good at. Revisit this list often to remind yourself of your strengths. Robert Segal
• Remind yourself of what you have. You may have lost your job, but think about what’s going right in your life, what you have to feel grateful for. It’s a cliche to say “Count your blessings,” but it really does boost happiness. Gretchen Rubin
• Always frame things in the positive. Say things like “I’m excited I’m back in the job market. It has given me a chance to really go after a job that I love,” as opposed to, “I recently got fired/lost my job.” People who are optimists and have positive beliefs will always get through this change better than others.  Ariane de Bonvoisin
• Self-belief

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Look for the silver linings …

• Look for the silver lining. Losing a job is easier to accept if you can find the lesson in your loss. What can you learn from the experience? Maybe your job loss and unemployment has given you a chance to reflect on what you want out of life and rethink your career priorities. Maybe it’s made you stronger. If you look, you’re sure to find something of value. Robert Segal
• Optimism,  Gratitude

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… knowing that adversity can bring gifts

• The measure of a man is the way he bears up under misfortune. Plutarch
• Every experience in your life is being orchestrated to teach you something you need to know to move forward. Brian Tracy
• When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us. Alexander Graham Bell
• Adversity

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Focus on the things you can control

• You can’t control how quickly a potential employer calls you back or whether or not they decide to hire you. Rather than wasting your precious energy on things that are out of your hands, turn your attention to things you can control during your unemployment, such as writing a great cover letter and resume tailored to the company you want to work for and setting up meetings with your networking contacts. Robert Segal
• What you can and can’t control

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Enjoy having some time off

• Celebrate—maybe even take a vacation. You probably didn’t take time away while you were at your last job—use this period of adjustment to break free. It’ll give you a chance to get some perspective. Have drinks or a party and celebrate being laid off. Put a positive spin on this. Enjoy yourself. This will be one of the few times in life that you’re unencumbered by work. Read. Sleep. Do all the things you never get to do…believe it or not, you’ll miss this time when it’s gone. Ariane de Bonvoisin
• Enjoyment,  Rest and renewal

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Use the opportunity to declutter your life

• Now that you have some extra time on your hands, declutter your life. Go through each room of your house and either sell, donate, or throw away things you rarely use and don’t need. Having a clean home free of clutter will help you feel refreshed and rejuvenated as you start this new chapter of your life. It also has the potential to put some extra money in your pocket if you sell some of the items you decide to get rid of. Ashley Jacobs
• There is nothing like a good purge, new job, new life! Get rid of stuff, especially old stuff that connects you to the old job. Purging is cleansing. It feels good. It’s part of letting go of what was to make room for what will be.  Joanne Tombrakos
• Clear some clutter. For most people, outer order contributes to inner calm – and clearing clutter seems to have a disproportionately positive effect. Bringing order to a messy coat closet shouldn’t make much of a difference to happiness, but for some reason, it gives a much bigger boost than you might expect. Careful: don’t overwhelm yourself. Pick one small area of the messy kitchen counter, or clean out your fridge, or tackle one corner of your desk. Bringing order to your physical environment will help calm you. Gretchen Rubin
• Clutter

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Take your attention off yourself for a while by helping someone else

• Help someone else. Your self-esteem may have suffered a blow, so remind yourself of how much you have to give. Teach someone something useful. Make helpful connections for other people. Volunteer your skills. Donate blood. Go through your closets and give away the clothes you don’t need. If you can’t face doing anything else, you can at least sign up to be an organ donor. It takes one minute, and you have potentially saved the lives of five people. You can feel great about your day if you’ve done that! Gretchen Rubin
• Service

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Cut unnecessary spending from your budget

• Once your primary source of income is gone, you can’t afford to spend as much as you once did. Stop and think about what budget items you absolutely must spend money on, as opposed to what you want to spend money on. Chances are you don’t really need to go to Starbucks daily to get a cup of coffee—instead, opt to make coffee at home. Things like manicures, pedicures, and car washes are all things you can do on your own to save money. Eliminating unnecessary spending will give you some extra breathing room while you are looking for a new job. Ashley Jacobs
• Saving,  Frugality

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Apply for unemployment if that’s available

• Look into applying for unemployment. People who lost their job through no fault of their own and worked a certain number of hours may be eligible to receive unemployment; eligibility requirements differ by state. While unemployment benefits will be significantly less than what your salary was, they will still help you get by until you land your next job. Ashley Jacobs

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Take care of yourself

• The stress of job loss and unemployment can take a toll on your health. Now more than ever, it’s important to take care of yourself. That means looking after your emotional and physical needs and making stress management a priority. Robert Segal
• Maintain balance in your life. Don’t let your job search consume you. Make time for fun, rest, and relaxation—whatever revitalizes you. Your job search will be more effective if you are mentally, emotionally, and physically at your best. Robert Segal
• Self-love

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Get healthy, making time for exercise

• Get healthy. Don’t get into a rut if you lose your job. Get yourself on an exercise program. Go outside and go for a run or walk. Go for a swim. Take a hike. Just get out and be active! Also, if you don’t cook regularly, consider learning how to put together a few healthy meals. By eating healthier and exercising, you’ll feel more confident about yourself, which could help the next time you have an interview.  Ashley Jacobs
• When you were working you may have said you didn’t have time to exercise. Now you do. It will improve your body and your mind. Right or wrong, an employer may be more impressed with your image as an amateur athlete than a couch potato. Ellen Dorle
• Make time for regular exercise. Exercise can be a great outlet for stress and worry while you’re unemployed and looking for work. It is also a powerful mood and energy booster. Aim for at least 30 minutes of exercise on most days of the week. Robert Segal
• Get some exercise. Exercise both calms you and energizes you. If you can’t face going to the gym or going for a run, just go for a ten- minute walk outside. The sunlight and the movement will boost your spirits. Gretchen Rubin
• People will judge you by how you look. Beverly Jones
• Health,  Exercise

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Get plenty of sleep

• Get plenty of sleep. Sleep has a huge influence on your mood and productivity. Make sure you’re getting between 7 to 8 hours of sleep every night. It will help you keep your stress levels under control and maintain your focus throughout your job search. Robert Segal
• Get enough sleep. Not getting enough sleep affects your mood more than you may realize. It makes difficult situations seem harder, drags down your energy, and lowers your immune system. When you’re cut off from your usual schedule, it can be tempting to stay up late, so remind yourself to turn off the light at a reasonable hour. Gretchen Rubin
• Sleep

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Take time to reflect …

• After losing your job, take some time to reflect on reasons why you may have been let go. Was it because your work performance wasn’t up to par? Because you weren’t adding value to the company? Or was it because the company had fallen on hard times and cutbacks needed to be made? If it was because of your work performance, evaluate what you could have done to be a more integral part of the team, then use what you discover to help excel at your next position. If you were let go because your company needed to make cutbacks, focus your upcoming job search on companies that are doing well in today’s economy so that you can have better job stability. Ashley Jacobs
• Reflection

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… and to evaluate the direction of your career

• As you start the process of finding a new job, take some time to think about what direction you want your career to go. Were you happy with your old job? Did you enjoy the industry you were working in? The position you had? Or were you absolutely miserable? If you loved your job, look for something similar that will make you happy. But if you hated it, think about what industry you might enjoy working in or a position that might be a better fit for you. Now is your chance to make a career change! Ashley Jacobs

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Define what you want to do with your life and what you have to offer

• Always define WHAT you want to do with your life and WHAT you have to offer to the world, in terms of your favorite talents/gifts/skills- not in terms of a job-title. Richard Nelson Bolles
• Clarity,  Know what you want

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Ask yourself what you love to do

• Find out what you like doing best and get someone to pay you for doing it. Katherine Whitehorn
• Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life. Confucius
• Never continue in a job you don’t enjoy. If you’re happy in what you’re doing, you’ll like yourself, you’ll have inner peace. And if you have that, along with physical health, you will have had more success than you could possibly have imagined. Johnny Carson
• Do what you love

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Allow yourself to think and dream a little

• Take some quiet moments. Think about what you’d really like to be doing in your next act. You might want to make a turn and use your existing skills in a new arena. This is your time to redeploy. Dream a little. It could be the opportunity you have been waiting for to try something new. Kerry Hannon
• The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams. Eleanor Roosevelt
• All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them. Walt Disney
• Dreams

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Turn finding work into your full time job

• You need to make applying for jobs your new full-time job and make sure you cover every online platform or job site. Wendi Lazar
• Make finding a new job your full-time job. OK, so you might not spend eight hours a day looking for a new job (that could be a bit excessive), but make finding a new job your top priority. At this point, there is nothing more important than finding a steady job to pay the bills, so spend time every day searching through job boards and hiring pages of companies you’re interested in working for. New jobs surface every day, so prevent yourself from missing out on them by checking sites like Monster or CareerBuilder regularly. Ashley Jacobs
• Time between jobs can be an excellent opportunity for reflection, getting back in touch with who you are, what you want and need. Between our jobs and our personal lives, if we’re not careful it’s easy to lose sight of who we really are. Take this time as an opportunity for you to get to know you again. Make a date with yourself and go do one of those things you always kept saying you had no time to do. Joanne Tombrakos
• Looking for a job is now your job. It may take a lot longer to find a new job than you think it will. Many people are running out their unemployment benefits, taking six months or more to find a new job. You might have to settle for less. We’re in a tough economic climate and the dream job you want might not be available for the next few years. Some jobs leave the market and never come back, and you may be facing that reality. Don’t get discouraged. Remember, even in a bad economy, there are always jobs for good people. Ariane de Bonvoisin
• Focus,  Immerse yourself in what you do

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Create a job search plan

• Create a job search plan. Avoid getting overwhelmed by breaking big goals into small, manageable steps. Instead of trying to do everything at once, set priorities. If you’re not having luck in your job search, take some time to rethink your goals. Robert Segal

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Leverage your social media profile

• Use social media to follow specific companies and connections. Wendi Lazar
• If you have a strong social media presence, use it to your advantage. Wendi Lazar
• Look through your social media profiles to see if they are employer-friendly. Check to make sure you haven’t been tagged in any inappropriate photos or status updates, and look at your wall to ensure your friends haven’t left any unseemly comments on your page. You can always set your profile to private just to be safe. Ashley Jacobs
• Your online profile is your new calling card, networking and making new connections is no longer limited to face to face, that person you met the other day who is considering you for a job is Googling your name, so give them something solid and current to look at. Joanne Tombrakos
• Your reputation and your online persona play much more of a role in getting you a new job than your resume or your cover letter ever could. Your profiles on Facebook and LinkedIn should be spruced up and optimized as much as possible to make you as attractive as you can be to a potential employer. And don’t forget to Google yourself to see what comes up. Ariane de Bonvoisin
• Join LinkedIn, Facebook and Twitter, or pretty-up your current public profile. Kerry Hannon
• Social media is one of the easiest ways to accomplish several key factors that help people land jobs. There’s no easier way to showcase what you know to a broad audience of potential colleagues, networking contacts, and hiring managers than via using social media. Miriam Salpeter

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Update your resume

• Now is the time to polish your resume and include your most recent position and responsibilities. No matter how long you were at your previous job, there is always something you can update on your resume. Wendi Lazar
• Update your resume to include your recent work experience. Focus on the tasks you performed and the results you achieved. If you have numerical data to back up your results, include it. Also, go back through the other positions listed on your resume, and make sure you have done a thorough job of highlighting the experience you gained at those positions. Ashley Jacobs

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Get a professional e-mail address

• Get a new e-mail address. You need a professional e-mail that’s your first and last name. You may want a simple web site, too. It should have your bio, contact information and links to your work if applicable. Kerry Hannon

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Print business cards

• Buy a snappy business card. People still hand them out. Go to Officeworks or your local print shop. Decide who you are from a marketing standpoint. I’m an author, journalist, speaker. Pick a theme- maybe a stack of books for me, a type font, decide what you want on there- mobile phone number, email, LinkedIn address, Twitter address, web site. Kerry Hannon

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Reach out to people in your network

• Reach out to people in your professional network and let them know that you’re looking for a job. Wendi Lazar
• Tell people what you’re looking for and ask them to keep an eye out for you. Wendi Lazar
• When networking, keep in mind that the relationships you form are just like any other — they require give and take, so think about what you can offer the other party as well. Wendi Lazar
• Start reaching out to the people in your professional network. Let them know you are searching for a new job, and see if they have any leads. By keeping people informed as to what you are up to and what you are looking for, you never know what doors may open. Also, look into attending networking events to connect with new people. Who knows, the next person you meet may be the person to help you find the right job for you. Ashley Jacobs
• Stay connected through networking. The vast majority of job openings are never advertised; they’re filled by word of mouth. That’s why networking is the best way to find a job. Unfortunately, many job seekers are hesitant to take advantage of networking because they’re afraid of being seen as pushy, annoying, or self-serving. But networking isn’t about using other people or aggressively promoting yourself—it’s about building relationships. As you look for a new job, these relationships can provide much-needed feedback, advice, and support. Robert Segal
• Pick up the phone and schedule a networking meeting. Make a lunch date with someone who might be able to give you some advice about openings in your field. Think broadly here. Reach out. Your next job is probably not going to come from one that is being advertised right now. Kerry Hannon
• Networking

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Get recommendations and referrals

• This is also a good time to ask for LinkedIn recommendations from your former co-workers and managers if you left your previous company on good terms. Wendi Lazar

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Contact a career coach

• Have you met with one? Most will give you the first meeting at no cost or obligation and you can brainstorm. Even this one meeting might give you some great ideas. Before you sign on with one, make sure you have shopped around to find one you like. Ellen Dorle

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Keep a regular daily routine

• Keep a regular daily routine. When you no longer have a job to report to every day, you can easily lose motivation. Treat your job search like a regular job, with a daily “start” and “end” time. Following a set schedule will help you be more efficient and productive while you’re unemployed. Robert Segal
• Routine

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Do one thing every day to make a change

• This can be as fast as an e-mail, a phone call to tell a colleague you’re nosing around the job market again, or a half an hour spent sipping coffee with a mentor. Kerry Hannon

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Grab opportunities when they arise

• Opportunities don’t often come along. So, when they do, you have to grab them. Audrey Hepburn
• Believe in yourself! Have faith in your abilities! Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be successful or happy. Norman Vincent Peale
• Opportunity,  Proactiveness

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Learn to motivate yourself

• People who are unable to motivate themselves must be content with mediocrity, no matter how impressive their other talents. Andrew Carnegie
• One important key to success is self-confidence. An important key to self-confidence is preparation. Arthur Ashe
• Do one thing every day that scares you. Eleanor Roosevelt
• Motivation

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Take risks

• Take risks: if you win, you will be happy; if you lose, you will be wise.
• You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take. Wayne Gretzky
• Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly. Robert F. Kennedy
• Risk taking

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Stick at it and don’t give up or get discouraged

• Consider the postage stamp: its usefulness consists in the ability to stick to one thing until it gets there. Josh Billings
• Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts. Winston Churchill
• Fall seven times, stand up eight. Japanese proverb
• Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm. Winston Churchill
• Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan “press on” has solved and will always solve the problems of the human race. Calvin Coolidge
• Being unemployed is tough. It’s not something anyone really wants to have to deal with when they’ve got bills to pay. And when you keep sending out resumes, going to interviews, and getting overlooked for positions you feel you were a good fit for, it can be discouraging. But be patient with yourself and the job-hunting process. Take time to look at why you didn’t get the job and use what you learn to do better the next time you send out your resume or go for an interview. Eventually, you will get a job. Ashley Jacobs
• Perseverance,  Discouragement

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Cultivate growth in some areas of your life …

• Cultivate an atmosphere of growth in some area of your life. You may feel like you’ve been pushed a giant step backward; that you’re out of control of what’s happening to you. Look for a place where you can move forward and take control. Learn to do something new – a new software program, watercolors. Conquer a device – master your camera, a kitchen gadget. Clean something up – your messy garage, your attic. Create something beautiful – plant a garden, catch up on the photo albums. Gretchen Rubin
• Growth

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… especially by developing new skills

• Develop new skills that will make you more marketable. Since you have some time in between jobs, you should consider attending seminars or taking classes to update your skills. For example, take a social media marketing or branding class to build a stronger online presence. Wendi Lazar
• Learn New Skills. Make yourself more marketable to potential employers by adding a few new skills to your resume. Attend a seminar on social media marketing. Take a programming course at your local community college. Or read some books to become more educated in a field that interests you. Employers are looking for potential employees who regularly update their skill sets, so by adding a new skill or two, you will improve your chances of getting hired. Ashley Jacobs
• Skill,  Mastery

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The best job security in your next job is to improve yourself a little every day

• Most people never feel secure because they are always worried that they will lose their job, lose the money they already have, lose their spouse, lose their health, and so on. The only true security in life comes from knowing that every single day you are improving yourself in some way, that you are increasing the caliber of who you are and that you are valuable to your company, your friends, and your family. Tony Robbins
• If you’re not practicing, somebody else is, somewhere, and he’ll be ready to take your job. Brooks Robinson
• Big jobs usually go to the men who prove their ability to outgrow small ones. Ralph Waldo Emerson
• Improvement

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If it takes time to find a job, consider finding some part time work …

• Take on Part-Time Work. Keep your head above water financially by taking on some part-time work to help pay the bills. Are you good at English or math? Consider working as a tutor. Do you love writing? Try some freelance writing work. Are you a programming genius? Find some random programming jobs. Having some extra income while you are looking for a stable job will help keep your stress levels low, because you won’t have to be as worried about money.  Ashley Jacobs
• The next job you take may be a transitional one. Whether it’s full or part time, embrace it. Every experience is a valuable one and you never know where it may lead. It’s OK to freelance or find part-time work to get some cash flow until you find the perfect new position. In fact, you may find that you don’t need a full-time job as much as you thought you did to be happy and secure. Ariane de Bonvoisin

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… or do some volunteer work …

• Continue working by volunteering for a board or a non-profit organization, or offer consulting services in your field. Wendi Lazar
• There’s this discrimination against people who aren’t working. There’s lots of opportunities to volunteer and offer your time while you’re looking for a job so that you can keep your skills fresh. People like to hire people who are working. Tracey Wilen-Daugenti
• Unemployment can wear on your self-esteem and make you feel useless. Volunteering helps you maintain a sense of value and purpose. And helping others is an instantaneous mood booster. Volunteering can also provide career experience, social support, and networking opportunities. Robert Segal

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… or create a meaningful project for yourself

• Most people require about six months to get another job. This is a big chunk of time that you can piss away sending resumes to Monster and wondering why no one responds. But you cannot job hunt for eight hours a day. Really. You’ll go nuts. So spend the time creating projects for yourself and executing on them. This is good for you mentally — because you are doing something meaningful with your time and that will keep your spirits up.  But this is also good for you in your job hunt. Because when you talk about why you left the last company, you spin it in a positive light by talking about how you are excited about doing what you are doing. Your interview should include you telling a good story about focused personal growth, and no one will get stuck on why you left your last job. Penelope Trunk

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Advice for the job interview

• Whenever you are asked if you can do a job, tell ’em, ‘Certainly I can!’ Then get busy and find out how to do it. Theodore Roosevelt
• Never badmouth your ex-employer (unless you’re talking to your spouse). It always reflects negatively on you when you criticize others. Best to take the high road. Kerry Hannon

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Thoughts on getting fired

• Getting fired is nature’s way of telling you that you had the wrong job in the first place. Hal Lancaster, in The Wall Street Journal
• I didn’t see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life. Steve Jobs

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• If you lose your job, your marriage and your mind all in one week, try to lose your mind first, because then the other stuff won’t matter that much. Jack Handy
• Don’t take life too seriously, you’ll never get out of it alive. Elbert Hubbard
• Never take a job where winter winds can blow up your pants. Geraldo Rivera
• Apparently I lack some particular perversion which today’s employer is seeking. John Kennedy Toole
• Diploma: A job-hunting license.
• Consultant: A jobless person who shows executives how to work.
• Don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful to have a job. I just wish it wasn’t THIS job.
• I love my job only when I’m on vacation.
• I quit my job at the helium gas factory; I refuse to be spoken to in that tone. Stewart Francis
• I want everyone to tell me the truth even if it costs him his job. Samuel Goldwyn
• I want to get a job naming kitchen appliances; seems easy… you just say what the thing does and add “er.” Mitch Hedberg
• If you have a shitty job, you probably shouldn’t lick your fingers at lunch time.
• It’s a recession when your neighbor loses his job: it’s a depression when you lose yours. Harry Truman
• Job: A place where you work just hard enough to avoid getting fired while getting paid just enough to avoid quitting.
• Let’s face it: a date is a job-interview that lasts all night; the only difference between a date and a job interview is: not many job-interviews is there a chance you’ll end up naked at the end of it. Jerry Seinfeld
• Manager: Someone who doesn’t know how to do your job who tells you how to do your job.
• Most jobs resemble a sled dog team: no one gets a change of scenery, except the lead dog. Moer’s Truism
• My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned: couldn’t concentrate.
• Never take a job where winter winds can blow up your pants. Geraldo Rivera
• Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar. Drew Carey
• On this team we are all united in a common goal: to keep my job. Lou Holtz
• Taking a job just to build a resume is like saving up sex for old age. Warren Buffett
• The closest to perfection a person ever comes is when he fills out a job application form. Stanley J. Randall
• The longer the title the less important the job. George McGovern
• The secrets of success are a good wife and a steady job… my wife told me. Howard Nemerov
• This job is better than I could get if I used my college degree which at this point I can’t remember what it was in. Bob Golic
• Toughest job I ever had: selling doors door to door. Ben Bailey
• When you go in for a job interview I think a good thing to ask is if they ever press charges. Jack Handey
• Why is Christmas just like your job? A: You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.
• You know the economy is bad when illegals start complaining that Americans are taking their jobs. Wanda Sykes

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