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Realise that you can control some things in life, but other things you cannot

• Happiness and freedom begin with a clear understanding of one principle: Some things are within our control, and some things are not. It is only after you have faced up to this fundamental rule and learned to distinguish between what you can and can’t control that inner tranquility and outer effectiveness become possible. Epictetus
• There are some things I can’t control, and that’s just the way it is. Susane Colasanti
• Control,  Go with the flow,  Acceptance

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Be proactive in taking control of the things you can…

• Instead of focusing on that circumstances that you cannot change – focus strongly and powerfully on the circumstances that you can. Joy Page
• I shall focus on those things which are within my control, and act within my sphere of influence. Marelisa Fabrega
• There are some things over which we have no real control and others that we can do something about. Proactive people focus their efforts on their Circle of Influence. They work on the things they can do something about: health, children, problems at work. Reactive people focus their efforts in the Circle of Concern, things over which they have little or no control: the national debt, terrorism, the weather. Stephen Covey
• Your biological vulnerability to learned helplessness makes it very important that you recognize where you do in fact have some power, and that you take the actions that are available to you—even if they must be only inside your own head. Rick Hanson
• Imagine a circle containing the things you have influence over, and another circle containing the things you’re concerned about. Where those circles overlap is the sweet spot where you can actually make a difference in the things that matter to you. Rick Hanson
• Proactiveness

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… but let go of the things you cannot

• Don’t spend time beating on a wall, hoping to transform it into a door. Coco Chanel
• For peace of mind, resign as general manager of the universe.
• If you can fix the thing that worries you, then fix it, otherwise don’t waste precious time or energy on it. Colleen Grant
• It’s no use crying over spilt milk, because all the forces of the universe were bent on spilling it. Somerset Maugham
• Let loose what you can’t control. Serenity will be yours.
• There are only two ways to handle tense situations: you can change them, or you can change the way you look at them. Paul Wilson
• There are two kinds of worries — those you can do something about and those you can’t. Don’t spend any time on the latter. Duke Ellington
• There is only one way to happiness and that is to cease worrying about things which are beyond the power of our will. Epictetus
• When we stop fighting the inevitable, we release energy which allows us to create a richer life. Elsie MacCormick
• You must learn to let go. Release the stress. You were never in control anyway. Steve Maraboli
• The reason many people in our society are miserable, sick, and highly stressed is because of an unhealthy attachment to things they have no control over. Steve Maraboli
• It makes no sense to worry about things you have no control over because there’s nothing you can do about them, and why worry about things you do control? The activity of worrying keeps you immobilized. Wayne Dyer
• We must make the best of those ills which cannot be avoided. Alexander Hamilton
• Learning to let go should be learned before learning to get. Life should be touched, not strangled. You’ve got to relax, let it happen at times, and at others move forward with it. Ray Bradbury
• The best thing one can do when it’s raining is to let it rain. Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
• Trying to control things that are out of your hands will plant seeds of helplessness, make you suffer, and undermine your capacity to exercise the influence you do have. Rick Hanson
• Letting go,  Non-attachment

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The result will be greater energy to control what you can and a richer life

• When we stop fighting the inevitable, we release energy which allows us to create a richer life. Elsie MacCormick
• There is only one way to happiness and that is to cease worrying about things which are beyond the power of our will. Epictetus
• Incredible change happens in your life when you decide to take control of what you do have power over instead of craving control over what you don’t. Steve Maraboli
• The more concerned we become over the things we can’t control, the less we will do with the things we can control. John Wooden
• We spend precious hours fearing the inevitable. It would be wise to use that time adoring our families, cherishing our friends, and living our lives. Maya Angelou
• How would your life be different if you stopped worrying about things you can’t control and started focusing on the things you can? Let today be the day…You free yourself from fruitless worry, seize the day and take effective action on things you can change. Steve Maraboli
• Why worry about things you can’t control when you can keep yourself busy controlling the things that depend on you?
• Energy management

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Acquiring the wisdom to know what you can and cannot control is one of life’s greatest lessons

• Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Serenity Prayer
• Wisdom

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Life can be unpredictable and often, you’ll need to go with the flow

• Basing our happiness on our ability to control everything is futile. Stephen Covey
• People who are Happy for No Reason don’t always need to figure everything out or be in control; they live in the flow of life, trusting the underlying benevolence and wisdom of that larger wholeness. Marci Shimoff
• When we are willing to be with what shows up in our lives, and quit participating in the desperate, clinging hunt to bend life to our will, we become much happier. Kate Swoboda
• Going with the flow

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1.  How much you prepare for something

• The truth is, you and I are in control of only two things: how we prepare for what might happen and how we respond to what just happened. The moment things actually do happen belongs to God. DeVon Franklin
• Confidence is preparation. Everything else is beyond your control.  Richard Kline
• Over prepare, then go with the flow. Regina Brett
• The secret of success in life is for a man to be ready for his opportunity when it comes. Benjamin Disraeli
• Be ready when opportunity comes. Luck is the time when preparation and opportunity meet.  Roy D. Chapin Jr.
• Too often, the opportunity knocks, but by the time you push back the chain, push back the bolt, unhook the two locks and shut off the burglar alarm, it’s too late. Rita Coolidge
• Preparation

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2.  Your response to what happens to you in life

• We cannot choose our external circumstances, but we can always choose how we respond to them. Epictetus
• While we cannot always choose what happens to us, we can choose our responses. Stephen Covey
• The art of life isn’t controlling what happens, which is impossible; it’s using what happens. Gloria Steinem
• Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space lies our freedom and power to choose our response. In those choices lie our growth and our happiness. Stephen Covey
• Master your responses to external events–don’t attempt to control them. Caroline Myss
• What happens is not as important as how you react to what happens. Thaddeus Golas
• You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them. Maya Angelou

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3.  How you choose to interpret things that happen to you in life

• If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself but to your own estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment. Marcus Aurelius
• By bringing about a change in our outlook toward things and events, all phenomena can become sources of happiness. The Dalai Lama
• As you inquire into issues and turn judgments around, you come to see that every perceived problem appearing ‘out there’ is really nothing more than a misperception within your own thinking. Byron Katie
• Seek not to change the world, but choose to change your mind about the world. What you see reflects your thinking. And your thinking but reflects your choice of what you want to see. A Course in Miracles
• It’s impossibile to even try to control everything in the world around us. Contrast this with he more manageable alternative of controlling the way we experience the world. David Michie
• Where would I possibly find enough leather with which to cover the surface of the earth? Yet wearing leather just on the soles of my shoes Is equivalent to covering the earth with it. Shantideva
• Perception,  Attitude,  Interpretation

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4.  Your attitude

• The control centre of your life is your attitude.
• We choose what attitudes we have right now. And it’s a continuing choice. John Maxwell
• Your living is determined not so much by what life brings to you as by the attitude you bring to life; not so much by what happens to you as by the way your mind looks at what happens. John Homer Miller
• I discovered I always have choices and sometimes it’s only a choice of attitude. Judith M. Knowlton
• A man cannot directly choose his circumstances, but he can choose his thoughts, and so indirectly, yet surely, shape his circumstances. James Allen
• Everything can be taken from a man but one thing; the last of the human freedoms – to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way. Viktor Frankl
• Remember my friend that it is not what happens that counts, it is how you react to them. Your mental attitude determines what you make of it, either a stepping stone or a stumbling block. Bruce Lee
• We cannot choose the things that will happen to us. But we can choose the attitude we will take toward anything that happens. Success or failure depends on your attitude. Alfred A. Montapert
• No matter what, we always have the power to choose hope over despair, engagement over apathy, kindness over indifference, enthusiasm over lethargy, love over hate. This is our true freedom. Whatever life may throw at us, we have the freedom and ability to choose our attitude. And I believe it is in those moments of choice that we manifest our destiny. Cory Booker
• The remarkable thing we have is a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past… We cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. Charles R. Swindoll
• Don’t fight the reality that now exists in your life. Once we accept that we can’t control the external events, people, and circumstances in our lives, we also see what we can control: our attitude, how we embrace change, and our reactions to change. Ariane de Bonvoisin
• You cannot control what happens to you, but you can control your attitude toward what happens to you, and in that, you will be mastering change rather than allowing it to master you. Brian Tracy
• We cannot change our past… we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it. And so it is with you… we are in charge of our attitudes. Charles R. Swindoll
• Attitude

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5.  Your thoughts

• Yes, there are some subconscious thoughts that you can’t control. But the things that you really think about, your beliefs and your ideals are concepts you have chosen to accept and believe in. Jim M. Allen
• You don’t have to control your thoughts; you just have to stop letting them control you. Dan Millman
• What you put into your mind to learn, and what you allow to dwell in your mind, that’s up to you. Adam McLane
• When we direct our thoughts properly, we can control our emotions. Clement Stone
• The highest possible stage in moral culture is when we recognize that we ought to control our thoughts. Charles Robert Darwin
• Self-disciplined begins with the mastery of your thoughts. If you don’t control what you think, you can’t control what you do. Simply, self-discipline enables you to think first and act afterward. Napolean Hill
• You cannot always control circumstances, but you can control your own thoughts. Charles Popplestown
• Are we controlled by our thoughts, or are we controlling our thoughts? Raymond Holliwell
• The one thing over which you have absolute control is your own thoughts. It is this that puts you in a position to control your own destiny. Paul G. Thomas
• You need to learn how to select your thoughts just the same way you select your clothes every day. This is a power you can cultivate. If you want to control things in your life so bad, work on the mind. That’s the only thing you should be trying to control. Elizabeth Gilbert
• Thinking

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6.  Changing yourself rather than trying to change others

• If I really want to improve my situation, I can work on the one thing over which I have control – myself. Stephen Covey
• There’s only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving, and that’s your own self. Aldous Huxley
• You must take personal responsibility. You cannot change the circumstances, the seasons, or the wind, but you can change yourself. That is something you have charge of. Jim Rohn
• Most people spend so much time and energy trying to do the impossible—namely, to change and control the actions of others—that they wrongly believe that they cannot achieve a quite possible goal—to change their own thoughts and acts. Robert A. Harper
• We immediately become more effective when we decide to change ourselves rather than asking things to change for us. Stephen Covey
• Our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the world as being able to remake ourselves. Mahatma Gandhi
• You can’t change other people. You can only change yourself. Celestine Chua
• Consider how hard it is to change yourself and you’ll understand what little chance you have in trying to change others. Jacob M. Braude
• When you stop trying to change others and work on changing yourself, your world changes for the better.
• I’ve discovered that you can’t change people. They can change themselves. Jim Rohn
• You have no control over what the other guy does. You only have control over what you do. J. Kitt
• Taking on too much of other people’s drama is just a poor excuse for not taking ownership and control over your own life. José N. Harris
• You can change only what people know, not what they do. Scott Adams

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7.  Mastery over yourself, especially your mind

• Personal mastery is the discipline of continually clarifying and deepening our personal vision, of focusing our energies, of developing patience, and of seeing reality objectively. Peter Senge
• Mastering others is strength; mastering yourself is true power. Lao Tzu
• You brain shall be your servant instead of your master, You will rule it instead of allowing it to rule you. Charles E. Popplestone
• One can have no smaller or greater mastery than mastery of oneself. Leonardo da Vinci
• To be free is to be the master of ourselves. Matthieu Ricard
• One who conquers himself is greater than another who conquers a thousand times a thousand men on the battlefield. Buddha
• He who controls others may be powerful but he who has mastered himself is mightier still. Lao Tzu
• The conquering of self is truly greater than were one to conquer many worlds. Edgar Cayce
• He who rules his spirit has won a greater victory than the taking of a city. Proverbs 16:32
• Be master of mind rather than mastered by mind. Zen saying
• When you rule your mind, you rule your world. Bill Provost
• By the mind one is bound, by the mind one is freed. Ramakrishna
• He that would govern others, first should be The Master of himself. Philip Massinger
• He who reigns within himself, and rules passions, desires, and fears, is more than a king. John Milton
• He who cannot obey himself will be commanded. That is the nature of living creatures. Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzche
• Such power there is in clear-eyed self-restraint. James Russell Lowell
• You cannot always control what goes on outside. But you can always control what goes on inside. Wayne Dyer
• Mastery

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8.  Control over yourself through developing self-discipline and will power

• Not being able to govern events, I govern myself. Michel de Montaigne
• Let’s ask God to help us to self-control for one who lacks it, lacks his grace. Rumi
• Self-control is a vital strength and key to success in life. Roy Baumeister
• Self-control is a better predictor of academic success than intelligence, a stronger determinant of effective leadership than charisma, and more important for marital bliss than empathy. If we want to improve our lives, willpower is not a bad place to start. Kelly McGonigal
• The wise are disciplined in body, speech, and mind. They are well controlled indeed. Buddha
• People with good self-control mainly use it not for rescue in emergencies but rather to develop effective habits and routines in school and at work. Roy Baumeister
• The greatest strength and wealth is self-control. Pythagoras
• People with high self-control consistently report less stress in their lives. They use their self- control not to get through crises but to avoid them. They give themselves enough time to finish a project; they take the car to the shop before it breaks down; they stay away from all- you- can-eat buffets. They play offense instead of defence. Roy Baumeister
• If you do not conquer self, you will be conquered by self. Napoleon Hill
• If you want more self-control, you can get more. And you get more self- control the same way you get bigger muscles—you’ve got to give it regular workouts. Heidi Grant
• When you do the wrong thing, knowing it is wrong, you do so because you haven’t developed the habit of effectively controlling or neutralizing strong inner urges that tempt you. William Clement Stone
• Prudent, cautious self-control, is wisdom’s root. Robert Burns
• He who reins within himself and rules passions, desires, and fears is more than a king John Milton
• Self-mastery comes through denial of the little things.
• To enjoy freedom, we have to control ourselves. Virginia Woolf
• It is better to conquer yourself than to win a thousand battles. Then the victory is yours. It cannot be taken from you, not by angels or by demons, heaven or hell. Buddha
• Self-discipline,  Will power

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9.  What you say

• Likewise, the words you speak (or write) are also consciously chosen. Like actions, they have an impact on your life and the lives of those you contact. Jim M. Allen
• Before you speak, think – Is it necessary? Is it true? Is it kind? Will it hurt anyone? Will it improve on the silence? Sri Sathya Sai Baba
• Be impeccable With Your Word: Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love. Don Miguel Ruiz
• Words transform. Speak only with a good purpose. Say only things that serve you and others. Choose your words wisely. Robert G. Allen
• By swallowing evil words unsaid, no one has ever harmed his stomach. Winston Churchill
• Speak when you are angry, and you will make the best speech you will ever regret. Ambrose Bierce
• The best time to hold your tongue is the time you feel you must say something or bust. Josh Billings
• Whatever words we utter should be chosen with care for people will hear them and be influenced by them for good or ill. Buddha 
• The wise ones fashioned speech with their thought, sifting it as grain is sifted through a sieve. Buddha
• Right speech

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10.  What you do

• Your actions are yours alone. You choose to make them or not make them and you are responsible for the effects of those actions. Jim M. Allen
• Emotions come and go and can’t be controlled so there’s no reason to worry about them. That in the end, people should be judged by their actions since in the end it was actions that defined everyone. Nicholas Sparks
• You cannot make yourself feel something you do not feel, but you can make yourself do right in spite of your feelings. Pearl S. Buck
• As human beings, we all experience a wide range of emotions. We often don’t choose the emotions we encounter, but we can choose what to do with them. Amanda Harvey
• There is also a huge difference between allowing ourselves to fully experience our emotions, and feeling compelled to act on them. Action is always a matter of choice. Amanda Harvey
• We’ve all got both light and dark inside us. What matters is the part we choose to act on. That’s who we really are. J.K. Rowling
• You cannot control the results, only your actions. Allan Lokos
• Right action,  Action

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11.  Who you associate with

• Your friends can either lift you up or bring you down. You make the decision which type of friends you wish to have. Jim M. Allen
• You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with. Jim Rohn
• If you hang out with chickens, you’re going to cluck and if you hang out with eagles, you’re going to fly. Steve Maraboli
• People inspire you or they drain you – pick wisely. Hans F Hansen
• Surround yourself with positive people

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12.  Where you choose to focus your energy and time

• You’re the director of your life – you choose where to put the focus. Your focus shapes your life.  So if you want to re- design your life, reshape your focus.  D. Meier
• The mark of a person who is in control of consciousness is the ability to focus attention at will, to be oblivious to distractions, to concentrate as long as it takes to achieve a goal, and not longer. And the person who can do this usually enjoys the normal course of everyday life. Per Csikszentmihalyi
• Nothing can add more power to your life than concentrating all of your energies on a limited set of targets. Nido Qubein
• When you simplify your life, it gathers focus. The more you can focus your life, the more motivated it gets. Steve Chandler
• Whatever you focus on expands. Christopher M. Knight
• Energy flows where attention goes.
• Stop managing your time. Start managing your focus. Robin Sharma
• Focus,  Time management

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13.  How you feel about yourself

• When you acquire enough inner peace and feel really positive about yourself, it’s almost impossible for you to be controlled and manipulated by anybody else. Wayne Dyer

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Things over which you have little or no control

• There are five unavoidable givens, five immutable facts of life built into the very nature of things, over which we are powerless:   Everything changes and ends.  2. Things do not always go according to plan.   3. Life is not always fair.   4.  Pain is part of life.   5. People are not loving and loyal all the time.  David Richo
• …no one can do a thing about feelings, they exist and there’s no way to censor them. We can reproach ourselves for some action, for a remark, but not for a feeling, quite simply because we have no control at all over it. Milan Kundera
• One can be the master of what one does, but never of what one feels. Gustave Flaubert
• You have no control over what the other guy does. You only have control over what you do. A J Kitt
• If you align the Serenity prayer onto the blueprint of the Medicine Wheel, the part that says to accept the things I cannot change falls at the South node. The South is the time period of the past. Therefore, the only thing you cannot change is in the past. Renee Bledsoe
• When we try to control others, or obsessively control our surroundings, we are trying to control things that aren’t in our control. This will inevitably end up in failure, frustration, and conflict with others. Leo Babauta
• You cannot control the results, only your actions. Allan Lokos

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More things you have little or no control over

• Unexpected events
• The behaviour of others
• Changing others
• The past
• The state of the world
• Getting older
• The weather
• Illness and death
• Criticism and rejection
• Things not always going according to plan.
• Bad luck.
• Life not always being fair.
• Everything coming to an end, sooner or later.
• The inevitable

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1.  Learn to go with the flow more

• Life is water, and we tend to push too hard, thrash about, force things, struggle. Instead, learn to float, learn to allow things to become effortless. Leo Babauta
• I really feel like life will dictate itself. You should allow it to unfold as naturally as possible. Just go with the flow. When you’re really desperate, you say a few prayers and hope for the best. That’s the way I’ve always lived my life. Shania Twain
• Relaxation means releasing all concern and tension and letting the natural order of life flow through one’s being. Donald Curtis
• Life is safe; flowing with the current of being is the simplest way to live. Resistance never really succeeds. Controlling the flow of life is impossible. Deepak Chopra
• The moment – the now – is like a river, which carries you forward, ever-changing and ever moving. You either flow with this now or reject it and fight it, but that doesn’t stop the flow; it only determines your experience of it. Gina Lake
• Make the best use of what is in your power and take the rest as it happens. Epictetus
• When I struggle and try to organize the Atlantic to my specifications, I sink. If I flail and thrash and growl and grumble, I go under. But, if I let go and float, I am borne aloft. Marie Stilkind
• Over prepare, then go with the flow. Regina Brett
• Going with the flow

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2.  Learn to accept the moment as it is, free of resistance

• Accept – then act. Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it. Always work with it, not against it. Eckhart Tolle
• Seek not that the things which happen should happen as you wish; but wish the things which happen to be as they are, and you will have a tranquil flow of life. Epictetus
• If you want reality to be different than what it is, you might as well try to teach a cat to bark. Byron Katie
• Anything in life that we don’t accept will simply make trouble for us until we make peace with it. Shakti Gawain
• Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it. Eckhart Tolle
• Life is beautiful if you flow with its natural beauty. Resistance makes it ugly. Terri Guillemets
• The word “yes” sums up spirituality and sanity. An unconditional yes to what is frees us from the self- imposed suffering that results when we fear facing the givens of life. Yes is born of trust and heals fear. This is because we are acknowledging that whatever happens to us is part of our story and useful on our path. Our yes to the conditions of existence means getting on with life rather than being caught up in disputes and attempts to gain control over how things play out.   David Richo
• Acceptance

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4.  Create intentions for the future, but let go of your attachment to results

• When things don’t seem to go my way, I let go of my attachment to how I think they should be, trusting that I am not seeing the big picture. If I knew the big picture, I would understand that there is a reason for things unfolding the way they are, and that the cosmos has a plan for me much grander than anything I have conceived. Deepak Chopra
• Release all expectations after you’ve set your goal. You never know what the universe might deliver to your doorstep. That’s why you want to have an open-mind, because what if the universe has something better in store for you? Henri Junttila
• Have intentions but don’t have expectations, and certainly don’t have requirements. Do not become addicted to a particular result. Do not even prefer one. Elevate your Addictions to Preferences, and your Preferences to Acceptances. Neale Donald Walsch
• Learn the magic of nonattachment. Nonattachment means: “I’ll do everything possible, I’ll put the odds in my favor, I’ll work hard and concentrate. I’ll do my best to succeed. But, if I don’t, that’s okay, too.” Richard Carlson
• Intentions are a form of desire. Desire per se is not the root of suffering; craving is. The key is to have wholesome intentions without being attached to their results. Rick Hanson, Ph.D.
• Life is under no obligation to give us what we expect. Margaret Mitchell
• Intention,  Letting go of attachment to outcome

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5.  Be flexible when it comes to your planning …

• Map out your future but do it in pencil. Jon Bon Jovi
• Life is what happens while you’re busy making other plans. John Lennon
• In the book of life every page has two sides: we human beings fill the upper side with our plans, hopes and wishes, but Providence writes on the other side and what it contains is seldom our goal. Nisami
• How to make God laugh: Tell him your future plans. Woody Allen
• We can plan a roadtrip or a workday down to the last detail but the unexpected will always arise. If we are not malleable, we will get left behind. John Wooden
• It is a bad plan that admits of no modification. Publilius Syrus
• The most successful people are those who are good at plan B. James Yorke
• Flexibility

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… for life might not go according to plan, but happiness is being open to whatever happens

• I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I intended to be. Douglas Adams
• Never be so focused on what you’re looking for that you overlook the thing you actually find. Ann Patchett
• Sometimes on the way to the dream you get lost and find a better one.
• Even when you think you have your life all mapped out, things happen that shape your destiny in ways you might never have imagined. Deepak Chopra
• We must be willing to get rid of the life we’ve planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us. Joesph Campbell
• Keep some room in your heart for the unimaginable. Mary Oliver
• Just because things hadn’t gone the way I had planned didn’t necessarily mean they had gone wrong. Ann Patchett
• Get organised. Know where you are headed. But if something wonderful and unexpected comes along, be flexible enough to follow it. Jackson Brown, Jr.
• Happiness

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