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• Shy: Nervous or timid in the company of other people. Oxford Dictionary
• Shy: Feeling nervous and uncomfortable about meeting and talking to people. Merriam Webster
• Introversion,  Anxiety,  Modesty

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Shyness tends to be rooted in fear

• Your major battles with fear are not outside you; they lurk inside, in the caverns of the psyche, in the arena of psychological survival and dark imaginings, where fear shape- shifts into subtle guises such as self- doubt, insecurity, lack of confidence, shyness, inhibition, timidity—a reluctance to assert, express, or even be yourself. Whatever form fear takes, your willingness to face it squarely will determine your fate in the high country of human potential. Dan Millman
• Shyness is rooted in fear — an irrational fear of speaking up and being humiliated or ignored. Why are some people so afraid of speaking out? In my mind the main causes are oversensitivity and insecurity. When you associate speaking out with pain and embarrassment, you’ll do almost anything to avoid it. Erin Falconer
• Fear

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Shyness comes from being worried what others are thinking of you

• Being shy means being nervous or worried about what other people are thinking of you. Ronald M. Rapee
• Worrying what others think

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Shyness comes from being afraid to appear a fool

• Many a man is praised for his reserve and so-called shyness when he is simply too proud to risk making a fool of himself. Joseph Priestley
• Foolishness,  Humiliation

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Shyness comes from being self-conscious

• Shy people operate as if they have a mirror in front of them all the time. Bernardo Carducci

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Shyness can often come from a sense of inferiority and personal insecurity

• I never wish to offend, but I am so foolishly shy, that I often seem negligent, when I am only kept back by my natural awkwardness … Shyness is only the effect of a sense of inferiority in some way or other. If I could persuade myself that my manners were perfectly easy and graceful, I should not be shy. Jane Austen, Sense and Sensibility
• The moment of crisis had come, and I must face it. My old fears, my diffidence, my shyness, my hopeless sense of inferiority, must be conquered now and thrust aside. If I failed now I should fail forever. Daphne du Maurier, Rebecca
• A major cause of shyness is insecurity. If you don’t think you have anything valuable to contribute, what’s the point of risking embarrassment? Erin Falconer

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One could argue shyness is just egotism out of its depth

• A shy person who is afraid of the attention of others is not free of ego, but has an ambivalent ego that both wants and fears attention from others. The fear is that the attention may take the form of disapproval or criticism, that is to say, something that diminishes the sense of self rather than enhances it. So the shy person’s fear of attention is greater than his or her need of attention. Eckhart Tolle
• The shy and the extroverted have this in common – that they both fancy they are the center of attention. Robert Brault
• Shyness is just egoism out of its depth. Penelope Keith
• Shyness has a strange element of narcissism, a belief that how we look, how we perform, is truly important to other people. AndréDubus
• They say shyness is a form of egotism, and you are only shy because you care too much about what people think of you. And maybe it’s true, maybe I am just an egotist. Mika
• Many a man is praised for his reserve and so-called shyness when he is simply too proud to risk making a fool of himself. B. Priestley
• It is narcissistic to believe everyone is watching and judging you.
• Transcending the ego

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• Shyness has nothing to do with being an Introvert. Introverts are not necessarily afraid of people. What they need is a reason to interact. They don’t interact for the sake of interacting. If you want to talk to an Introvert, just start talking. Don’t worry about being polite. Carl King
• Often confused with shyness, introversion does not imply social reticence or discomfort. Rather than being averse to social engagement, introverts become overwhelmed by too much of it, which explains why the introvert is ready to leave a party after an hour and the extravert gains steam as the night goes on. Laurie Helgoe
• Shyness is about the fear of social judgments – at a job interview or a party you might be excessively worried about what people think of you. Whereas an introvert might not feel any of those things at all, they simply have the preference to be in a quieter setting. Susan Cain
• Shyness is inherently uncomfortable; introversion is not. The traits do overlap, though psychologists debate to what degree. Susan Cain
• Introversion

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Shyness can be a block between us and the best version of ourselves

• I think we all have blocks between us and the best version of ourselves, whether it’s shyness, insecurity, anxiety, whether it’s a physical block, and the story of a person overcoming that block to their best self. It’s truly inspiring because I think all of us are engaged in that every day. Tom Hooper
• Shyness can stop you from doing all the things in life you’d like to.
• My shyness has ruined so many opportunities.

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In our society, there is a bias against shyness

• If you’re an introvert, you also know that the bias against quiet can cause deep psychic pain. As a child you might have overheard your parents apologize for your shyness. Or at school you might have been prodded to come out of your shell— that noxious expression which fails to appreciate that some animals naturally carry shelter everywhere they go, and some humans are just the same. Susan Cain

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Sometimes shyness is even mistaken for unfriendliness

• A man’s vanity is more fragile that you might think. It’s easy for us to mistake shyness for coldness, and silence for indifference. Lisa Kleypas

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Figure out your shyness triggers

• Do you become shy in front of new audiences? When learning a new skill? When venturing into a new situation? When surrounded by people you know and admire? When you don’t know anyone somewhere? Try to pinpoint the thoughts that go through your head right before the shyness hits. Ben Rubenstein

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Be determined to set your shyness aside from time to time

• Everyone is shy — it is the inborn modesty that makes us able to live in harmony with other creatures and our fellows. Achievement comes not by denying shyness but, occasionally, by setting it aside and letting pride and perspiration come first. Gary Simon

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Some great people didn’t let their shyness stop them

• Eleanor Roosevelt, Rosa Parks, Gandhi — all these peopled described themselves as quiet and soft-spoken and even shy. And they all took the spotlight, even though every bone in their bodies was telling them not to. Susan Cain
• Parks was a shy, soft spoken woman who was uncomfortable being revered as a symbol of the civil rights movement. She only hoped to inspire young people to achieve great things. Jim Costa

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Transcend shyness by accepting your shyness instead of seeing it as a flaw

• When you’re worried, tell yourself the truth: Shyness is a strength to build on, not a character flaw to be stamped out.” The Malvern School
• Go from being shy to “successfully shy.” Bernardo J. Carducci  
• The first step to overcoming your shyness is try to accept your shyness and be comfortable with it. The more you resist it unconsciously or consciously, the longer it will prevail. Ben Rubenstein
• Self-acceptance

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Transcend shyness by thinking more about others …

• Someone I respect a great deal once told me that ‘shyness is pride.’ What he meant was that shy people spend too much time worrying about themselves and how they look in the eyes of other people, when they should be focusing on what’s outside, trying to do a good job, trying to add value to the situation. This is brilliant advice – start thinking about others and less about yourself. In fact, everyone else is actually thinking about themselves, too. Nobody really cares about you. So stop being so self absorbed. Mark Harrison
• I’d argue the fundamental cause of shyness, therefore, rests on where we place our attention. If it’s on the reactions we might produce in others and how they might therefore view us, we risk over-analyzing every thought, word, and deed and may find ourselves, as the terminally shy often do, paralyzed by a painful self-awareness. If, on the other hand, we place our attention on everyone else, willfully ignoring our concerns about how they may react to us, we might find some room to breathe as ourselves. Alex Lickerman, M.D.

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… through the practice of compassion

• Place your attention on others. When we stop focusing on ourselves, we stop being able to be worried how we come off. The easiest way to do this is to concentrate on compassion. When we’re feeling compassionate, sympathetic, or even empathetic, we stop being concerned about ourselves and start devoting all our mental resources to understanding others. Remembering that everyone is fighting some sort of battle — big or small (big to them!) — helps us remember everyone deserves our care.   Ben Rubenstein
• Compassion

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Transcend shyness by expanding your comfort zone a little at a time …

• Pick something that makes you just a little uncomfortable, then get out there and just do it. No one’s suggesting you try karaoke if you’ve never sung a note in public before. Instead, start small, and build your confidence when you succeed. Ask a question from the audience during your next company presentation, or vow to say hi to two new people at the next party you attend. It’s okay to be nervous—baby steps. Lisa Hoover
• Every time you do something new, it’s going to be a bit scary, but this is the only way to grow. So if you’re going to overcome shyness, you’re going to have to go out into the social world and put yourself in situations you might not be too comfortable with. The point is – keep challenging yourself. You don’t need to let fear hold you hostage.  Mark Harrison
• Stretch your comfort zone

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… and then recording your successes

• As you overcome this condition we’ve been labelling as shyness, you will have many wins and realizations about yourself. You will gain insights into the truth behind social scenarios. You will start to view yourself differently and come to recognize that you can become comfortable and confident. When these wins and realizations happen, make sure to keep a notebook and write them down. Keeping a journal of your successes will not only boost self-confidence, but also shift your focus towards something that can benefit you. Tina Su
• Success

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Transcend shyness by learning to love, accept and appreciate yourself more

• Someone will always be prettier. Someone will always be smarter. Someone will always be younger. But they will never be you.  Kayne West
• Do not watch yourself with other people’s eyes. You are not them. You are you!
• Self-love,  Self-acceptance,  Appreciation

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Transcend shyness by becoming wrapped up in something you love

• The way you overcome shyness is to become so wrapped up in something that you forget to be afraid. Lady Bird Johnson
• Do what you love

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Transcend shyness by visualising yourself moving comfortably amongst others

• Imagine how you would feel if you were already the sort of personality you want to be. If you have been shy and timid, see yourself moving among people with ease and poise—and feeling good because of it. If you have been fearful and anxious in certain situations—see yourself acting calmly and deliberately, acting with confidence and courage—and feeling expansive and confident because you are. Maxwell Maltz
• Visualizing yourself in the situation as a confident and happy person helps to shape your perception of yourself when you are actually in the situation. Close your eyes, sit back somewhere relaxing, listen to some relaxing music, imagine yourself in a scene or situation and see yourself the way you would like to be. In this scene, how do you feel? What do you hear? Do you smell anything? Are you moving? What do you see? Get all your senses involved to make it real. Tina Su
• Imagine yourself in different social situations while taking slow, deep breaths to keep calm. Jonathan Cheek
• Visualize success. Close your eyes and visualize a situation where you might be shy. Now, in your mind’s eye, think about being confident. Do this often, and for different situations. This is most effective if you do this daily, especially in the morning. It might feel silly, but athletes use visualization to develop their skills, so why not you? Ben Rubenstein

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Transcend shyness by practicing good posture

• Standing tall gives the world the impression that you are self-confident and receptive to others. Often we are treated the way we feel — so if you feel open and approachable, your body will emulate that feeling. Body over matter! This will fool your brain, too. Research says that good posture (head held high, shoulders back, and open arms) makes us feel authoritative, confident, and — to top it off — reduces stress.  Serena Greenslade

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Transcend shyness by turning self-consciousness into self-awareness

• Recognize that the world is not looking at you. Besides, most people are too busy looking at themselves. Instead of watching yourself as if you are other people, bring your awareness inwards. Armed with your understanding of what makes you shy, seek within yourself and become the observing presence of your thoughts. Self-awareness is the first step towards any change or life improvement. Tina Su
• Self-awareness

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Transcend shyness by letting go of the need for approval

• You must let go of wanting approval and you must stop being so sensitive. Karl Moore
• Stop being so darn sensitive – and stop wanting approval. Karl Moore
• If I had a prayer, it would be this: “God, spare me from the desire for love, approval, or appreciation.” Amen. Byron Katie
• I don’t want people’s approval. I want people to think the way they think. That’s love. Manipulating and trying to change someone is like trying to rape his mind. “You there! Stop your internal life and focus over here, on me!  Byron Katie
• Spare yourself from seeking love, approval, or appreciation—from anyone. And watch what happens in reality, just for fun. Byron Katie
• Approval seeking

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Transcend shyness by asking three questions

• During social settings where you may experience nervousness, periodically ask yourself the following three questions. Doing so will distract yourself from more self-destructive thoughts. Make it your mantra: Am I breathing? Am I relaxed? Am I moving with grace? Tina Su

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Transcend shyness by recognising the merit of your own thoughts and opinions

• To get over this you need to recognize the merit of your own thoughts and the value they present to others. It’s ironic that the people most inclined towards shyness are often the most thoughtful. To reach your potential, you need to share yourself with the world. Your brilliant insights don’t hold any value until they’ve enlightened someone else. Erin Falconer

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Transcend shyness by not taking things so seriously

• Shy people often take things far too seriously. So what if you make a mistake, if your voice trembles, if you forget your lines? So what if nobody laughs at your jokes? Is it going to kill you? I doubt it. Lighten up and keep things in perspective. Mark Harrison
• As my grandfather once said, “The secret of life is learning to make a fool of yourself gracefully.”
• To be more confident, you need to give a whole lot less of a shit of what other people think of you.

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Is your shyness a sign you’re too passive?

• If your style is passive, you may seem to be shy or overly easygoing. You tend to avoid conflict. Why is that a problem? Because the message you’re sending is that your thoughts and feelings aren’t as important as those of other people. In essence, when you’re too passive, you give others the license to disregard your wants and needs. The internal conflict that can be created by passive behavior can lead to stress, resentment, seething anger and feelings of victimization.  Mayo Clinic

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Explore beneath the shyness of others by showing an interest in them

• If you explore beneath shyness or party chit-chat, you can sometimes turn a dull exchange into an intriguing one. I’ve found this to be particularly true in the case of professors or intellectuals, who are full of fascinating information, but need encouragement before they’ll divulge it. Joyce Carol Oates
• So many people are shut up tight inside themselves like boxes, yet they would open up, unfolding quite wonderfully, if only you were interested in them. Sylvia Plath
• Sometimes quiet people really do have a lot to say. They’re just being careful about who they open up to.

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• Scientists have found the gene for shyness. They would have found it years ago, but it was hiding behind a couple of other genes. Jonathan Katz
• I’m shy at first, but once I’m comfortable wity you, get ready for some crazy shit.
• You know how shyness is sometimes misinterpreted to be snobbishness? I experience the reverse.  What people assume is my observant, meditative nature is really utter disdain.  Finbar Kelly
• I’m not shy. I’m holding back my awesomeness so I don’t intimidate you.
• Just shy. Not antisocial. (You can talk to me!) Tshirt
• I’m too shy to express my sexual needs except over the phone to people I don’t know. Garry Shandling
• I never lecture not because I am shy or a bad speaker but simply because I detest the sort of people who go to lectures and don’t want to meet them.  L. Mencken