The battle of the sexes (quotes)

.

It’s true there are differences between the sexes

There are those who talk of a battle between the sexes…

Marriage is like life in this – that it is a field of battle, and not a bed of roses. Robert Louis Stevenson
In the sex war, thoughtlessness is the weapon of the male, vindictiveness of the female. Cyril Connolly
During the feminist revolution, the battle lines were again simple. It was easy to tell the enemy, he was the one with the penis. This is no longer strictly true. Some men are okay now. We’re allowed to like them again. We still have to keep them in line, of course, but we no longer have to shoot them on sight. Cynthia Heimel
Gender equality, Equality, Feminism, Marriage, Conflict management, Understanding

.

… though thankfully there is plenty of fraternising with the enemy

No matter how much cats fight, there always seem to be plenty of kittens. Abraham Lincoln
No one will ever win the battle of the sexes; there’s too much fraternizing with the enemy. Henry A. Kissinger
The war between the sexes is the only one in which both sides regularly sleep with the enemy. Quentin Crisp
Enemies

.

It is true there are differences between the sexes…

Men are from Mars. Women are from Venus. John Gray
The reason husbands and wives do not understand each other is because they belong to different sexes. Dorothea Dix
The difference between a house and a home is like the difference between a man and a woman– it might be embarrassing to explain, but it would be very unusual to get them confused. Lemony Snicket
Through all the relationship stuff I’ve gone through in the past few years, I know there are fundamental differences in how men and women view sex and how they view their futures. Aaron Eckhart
The little rift between the sexes is astonishingly widened by simply teaching one set of catchwords to the girls and another to the boys. Robert Louis Stevenson

.

… especially evident in love, sex and relationships

The word love has by no means the same sense for both sexes, and this is one cause of the serious misunderstandings that divide them. Simone de Beauvoir
Men learn to love the woman they are attracted to. Women learn to become attracted to the man they fall in love with. Woody Allen
When men see an attractive woman, they fantasize about sex. When women see an attractive man they fantasize about a relationship. Alexandra Potter
The difference between the love of a man and the love of a woman is that a man will always give reasons for loving, but a woman gives no reasons for loving. Fulton J. Sheen
Man loves little and often. Woman much and rarely. Basta
Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place. Billy Crystal
Seems to me the basic conflict between men and women, sexually, is that men are like firemen. To men, sex is an emergency, and no matter what we’re doing we can be ready in two minutes. Women, on the other hand, are like fire. They’re very exciting, but the conditions have to be exactly right for it to occur. Jerry Seinfeld
And I think maybe all women, if they just had a chance, would be romantic and believe in love and not sex. And men believe in sex and not love. Beatrice Wood
Love, Sexuality, Principles for healthy relationships

.

We spend plenty of time trying to figure each other out…

Men who don’t understand women fall into two groups – bachelors and husbands. Jacques Languirand
And verily, a woman need know but one man well, in order to understand all men; whereas a man may know all women and understand not one of them. Helen Rowland
She’s a woman, you’re a dude. You’re not supposed to understand her. That’s not what she’s after…. She doesn’t want you to understand her. She knows that’s impossible. She just wants you to understand yourself. Everything else is negotiable. Neal Stephenson
The great question — which I have not been able to answer — is, “What does a woman want? Sigmund Freud
The trouble with life is, by the time you can read a girl like a book, your library card has expired. Berle
What man can pretend to know the riddle of a woman’s mind? Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra, Don Quixote
To understand one woman is not necessarily to understand any other woman. John Stuart Mill

.

… and often we argue and fight

A good wife always forgives her husband when she’s wrong. Milton Berle
Arguments out of a pretty mouth are unanswerable.
Every couple needs to argue now and then. Just to prove that the relationship is strong enough to survive. Long- term relationships, the ones that matter, are all about weathering the peaks and the valleys. Nicholas Sparks
Every woman is wrong until she cries, and then she is right, instantly. Thomas C. Haliburton
He held up his index finger. “Rule one: in any dispute between mates, the male is always to blame, even when he is clearly blameless. Rule two”—his middle finger joined the first—”whenever in doubt, refer to rule one.” L. Wilson
I have to go. I have a finite amount of life left and I don’t want to spend it arguing with you. Jennifer Armintrout
If it weren’t for marriage, men and women would have to fight with total strangers. Dave Barry
Man forgives women anything save the wit to outwit him. Minna Antrim
Marriage is nature’s way of keeping people from fighting with strangers.
Married life had taught him the futility of arguing with a female in a dark-brown mood. Isaac Asimov
Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight. Phyllis Diller
Rule one: in any dispute between mates, the male is always to blame, even when he is clearly blameless. Rule two, whenever in doubt, refer to rule one.
The first thing you should do after winning an argument with your wife is aplogise.
The ultimate test of a relationship is to disagree but to hold hands. Alexandra Penney
The way to fight a woman is with your hat. Grab it and run. John Barrymore
There are two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither works. Will Rogers

.

Men pick bones with women…

A woman in love will do almost anything for a man, except give up the desire to improve him. Nathaniel Branden
I don’t understand why girls who wear wigs, false eyelashes and padded bras always complain that there are no real men anymore.
Man forgives woman anything save the wit to outwit him. Minna Thomas Antrim
A woman is someone who can see a smudge of lipstick at twenty paces but can’t see a pair of garage doors, 20 feet wide. Dirkman
A woman is someone who has a wonderful sense of right and wrong but no sense of left and right. Herold
A woman’s mind is cleaner than a man’s; she changes it more often. Oliver Herford

.

… and women pick bones with men

Give a man a centimetre and he’ll think he’s a ruler. Janet Skeslien Charles
Sarah learnt a lot from Alex. Like the way men could say one thing, then another, then act in a way inconsistent with both positions and somehow still be convinced of their own integrity. Emily Maguire
Basically, all women are nurturers and healers, and all men are mental patients to varying degrees. Nelson DeMille
Men are like a deck of cards. You’ll find the occasional king, but most are jacks. Laura Swenson
God gave us a penis and a brain, but only enough blood to run one at a time. Robin Williams

.

Woman on top?

.

Thankfully, the days of women being seen as the inferior sex are over

I hate women because they always know where things are. James Thurber
Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily this is not difficult. Charlotte Whitton
Just as women’s bodies are softer than men’s, so their understanding is sharper. Christine de Pizan
A woman’s guess is much more accurate than a man’s certainty. Rudyard Kipling
A man does what he can; a woman does what a man cannot. Isabel Allende
A woman can say more in a sigh than a man can say in a sermon. Arnold Haultain
Whilst men may play the game, women know the score. Habeeb Akande
No woman can make a wise man out of a fool, but every woman can change a wise man into a fool. Argentinan Proverb
God made man, and then said I can do better than that and made woman. Adela Rogers
I would rather trust a woman’s instinct that a man’s reason. Stanley Baldwin
In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man; if you want anything done, ask a woman. Margaret Thatcher
Men are actually the weaker sex. George Weinberg
I have an idea that the phrase ‘weaker sex’ was coined by some woman to disarm the man she was preparing to overwhelm. Ogden Nash
When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. Elayne Boosler
You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy. Erica Jong
Women are never disarmed by compliments. Men always are. That is the difference between the sexes. Oscar Wilde
That is the great distinction between the sexes. Men see objects, women see the relationships between objects. John Fowles
Why do people say “grow some balls”? Balls are weak and sensitive. If you wanna be tough, grow a vagina. Those things can take a pounding. Betty White
Remember, Ginger Rogers did everything Fred Astaire did, but backwards and in high heels. Faith Whittlesey
Sure God created man before woman. But then you always make a rough draft before the final masterpiece.
After all, Ginger Rogers did everything that Fred Astaire did. She just did it backwards and in high heels. Ann Richards
For a woman to get half as much credit as a man, she has to work twice as hard, and be twice as smart. Fortunately, that isn’t difficult.

.

In many ways, women now rule the roost …

The male is a domestic animal which, if treated with firmness and kindness, can be trained to do most things. Jilly Cooper
Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. Robert A. Heinlein
Man has his will – but woman has her way. O.W.Holmes
The man may be the head of the household. But the woman is the neck, and she can turn the head whichever way she pleases. Nia Vardalos
My wife and I have a simple relationship. I rule the roost; she rules the rooster.
Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge. Bill Cosby
When a man goes on a date he wonders if he is going to get lucky. A woman already knows. Frederike Ryder
At home, I rule the roost. And my wife rules the rooster.

.

… and women have learned to deal with men

Being a woman is a terribly difficult task since it consists principally in dealing with men. Joseph Conrad
A wise woman puts a grain of sugar in everything she says to a man, and takes a grain of salt with everything he says to her. Helen Rowland
It took a long time, but I’ve finally figured it out. When it comes to men who are romantically interested in you, it’s really simple. Just ignore everything they say and only pay attention to what they do. Randy Pausch

.

Appreciating our differences

.

At the end of the day, where would men and women be with each other?

Can you imagine a world without men? There’d be no crime, and lots of fat happy women. Nicole Hollander
What would men be without women? Scarce, sir…mighty scarce. Mark Twain
A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle. Gloria Steinem
The sexes were made for each other, and only in the wise and loving union of the two is the fullness of health and duty and happiness to be expected. William Hall
By believing in our nobler nature, women have the amazing power to inspire us to live up to it. This is one reason why men tend to fear commitment. Neil Strauss
I feel so miserable without you, it’s almost like having you here. Stephen Bishop
Ah, women. They make the highs higher and the lows more frequent. Friedrich Nietzsche

.

We need to deal with and appreciate our differences…

All women’s issues are to some degree men’s issues and all men’s issues are to some degree women’s issues because when either sex wins unilaterally both sexes lose. Warren Farrell
Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it. George Carlin
Between man and woman there is little difference, but vive la difference. French Proverb
It’s well known that men and women are different but it keeps being rediscovered with great excitement.
Diversity

.

… and realise we’re much more alike than we think

There is more difference within the sexes than between them. Ivy Compton-Burnett
The thing that’s between us is fascination, and the fascination resides in our being alike. Whether you’re a man or a woman, the fascination resides in finding out that we’re alike. Marguerite Duras
There’s no evidence whatsoever that men are more rational than women. Both sexes seem to be equally irrational. Albert Ellis

.

The goal is to respect each other equally but not to imitate each other

We have to be careful in this era of radical feminism, not to emphasize an equality of the sexes that leads women to imitate men to prove their equality. To be equal does not mean you have to be the same. Eva Burrows
When a woman behaves like a man why doesn’t she behave like a nice man? Dame Edith Evans
I don’t mind living in a man’s world as long as I can be a woman in it. Marilyn Monroe
Of all the nasty outcomes predicted for women’s liberation…none was more alarming than the suggestion that women would eventually become just like men. Barbara Ehrenreich
Instead of getting hard ourselves and trying to compete, women should try and give their best qualities to men – bring them softness, teach them how to cry. Joan Baez
We’ve begun to raise daughters more like sons… but few have the courage to raise our sons more like our daughters. Gloria Steinem
Respect

.

Final thoughts

.

Bringing God into the battle of the sexes

He – and if there is a God, I am convinced he is a he, because no woman could or would ever fuck things up this badly. George Carlin
Woman was God’s second mistake. Friedrich Nietzsche
After God created the world, He made man and woman. Then, to keep the whole thing from collapsing, He invented humor. Mack McGinnis
When God made man, she was practicing. Rita Mae Brown
Why did Nature create man? Was it to show that she is big enough to make mistakes, or was it pure ignorance? Margo Kaufman
God

.

Making fun of men

A man is never so weak as when a woman is telling him how strong he is.
All men are idiots, and I married their King.
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
Man: A creature made at the end of a week’s work when God was tired.
Man: A reasoning rather than a reasonable animal.
Man: An ingenious assembly of portable plumbing.
Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men – the other 999 follow women
PMS: A chance for ladies to act like guys do all the time.
See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.
Sure God created man before woman. But then you always make a rough draft before the final masterpiece.
What would the world be like without men? Full of fat, happy women
Why do men name their penises? Because they want to be on a first name basis with the person who makes all their decisions.
Women have more imagination than men. They need it to tell us how wonderful we are.
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

.

Making fun of women

I don’t understand why girls who wear wigs, false eyelashes and padded bras always complain that there are no real men anymore.
Intuition: that strange instinct that tells a woman she is right, whether she is or not.
Knitting: An activity that gives women something to think about while they are talking.
Scientists have discovered that all women, at some point in their lives, will contain intelligent DNA. Unfortunately, 95% will spit it out.
They call it “pms” because “mad cow disease” was already taken.