Wisdom (funny quotes)

Funny quotes about wisdom…

  • Silence: True wisdom’s best reply.
  • Wisdom is the reward for surviving our own stupidity. Brian Rathbone
  • Wisdom: Knowing when to speak your mind and when to mind your speech.
  • We all admire the wisdom of people who come to us for advice. Jack Herbert
  • Wisdom is at all times the least burdensome traveling pack. William Camden
  • Wisdom is ofttimes nearer when we stoop than when we soar. William Wordsworth
  • Democracy: The belief in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance. (Carlyle Thomas)
  • Look about, my son, and see how little wisdom it takes to govern the world. Axel Oxenstierna
  • Wisdom comes from experience. Experience is often a result of lack of wisdom. Terry Pratchett
  • Wisdom doesn’t necessarily come with age. Sometimes age just shows up all by itself. Tom Wilson
  • In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is Freedom, in water there is bacteria. Benjamin Franklin
  • Wisdom is the quality that keeps you from getting into situations where you need it.  Doug Larson
  • A man begins cutting his wisdom teeth the first time he bites off more than he can chew. Herb Caen
  • Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.  Miles Kington
  • Wisdom is the reward you get for a lifetime of listening when you’d have preferred to talk.  Doug Larson
  • Some coaches pray for wisdom; I pray for 260-pound tackles they’ll give me plenty of wisdom.   Chuck Noll
  • Every man is a damn fool for at least five minutes every day; wisdom consists in not exceeding the limit. Elbert Hubbard
  • It’s surprising how much wisdom every man possesses — if not for his own affairs, then for the affairs of others. Van Esar
  • For every proverb that so confidently asserts its little bit of wisdom there is usually an equal and opposite proverb that contradicts it.  Proverbial Law
  • I think there is more wisdom in a single drop of rain than there is in all the books in all the libraries of the world – wait not rain – super-concentrated brain juice.   Jack Handey
  • More than any other time in history, mankind faces cross-roads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly.  Woody Allen
  • Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those people I had to kill because they pissed me off!  Sarah Ferguson

…and being wise

  • A word to the wise is — unnecessary. Evan Esar
  • Some folks are wise and some otherwise.  Josh Billings
  • Growing old is mandatory. Growing wise is optional.  Sign
  • Wise people think all they say, fools say all they think.
  • Some folks are wise and some are otherwise. Tobias Smollett
  • The wise man has long ears and a short tongue.  German proverb
  • Confucius say if wise man marry he become otherwise.   Confucius
  • Wise saying: something you keep picking up off the floor in front of your fridge.
  • Silence is foolish if we are wise but wise if we are foolish.  Charles Caleb Colton
  • A wise saying is something you keep picking up off the floor in front of your fridge.
  • Look wise, say nothing, and grunt. Speech was given to conceal thought. William Osler
  • It’s so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and then don’t say it.
  • Why wasn’t Jesus born in the USA? Because God couldn’t find three wise men and a virgin.
  • Any fool can paint a picture but it takes a wise man to be able to sell it.  Samuel Butler
  • A word to the wise ain’t necessary it is the stupid ones who need all the advice.  Bill Cosby
  • Some folks as they grow older grow wise but most folks simply grow stubborner.  Josh Billings
  • By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step he’s too old to go anywhere.  Billy Crystal
  • Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools because they have to say something.  Plato
  • In those days he was wiser than he is now — he used frequently to take my advice. Winston Churchill
  • Cabbage: A familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man’s head.  Ambrose Bierce
  • It is wise to remember that you are one of those who can be fooled some of the time. Laurence J. Peter
  • Three things it is best to avoid: a strange dog a flood and a man who thinks he is wise.  Welsh proverb
  • At a dinner party one should eat wisely but not too well and talk well but not too wisely.   Somerset Maugham
  • History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all other alternatives.  Abba Eban
  • No woman can make a wise man out of a fool, but every woman can change a wise man into a fool. Argentinan Proverb
  • I’m not waiting until my hair turns white to become patient and wise. Nope, I’m dyeing my hair tonight. Jarod Kintz
  • Education: that which reveals to the wise and conceals from the stupid the vast limits of their knowledge.  Mark Twain
  • Only the most foolish of mice would hide in a cat’s ear, but only the wisest of cats would think to look there. Scott Love
  • Those wise decisions you make when you’re young are those foolish ones you’ll live with when your old.  Country expression
  • A pipe gives a wise man time to think and a fool something to stick in his mouth.  Trischmann’s Paradox (Axiom of the Pipe)
  • He who devotes sixteen hours a day to hard study may become at sixty as wise as he thought himself at twenty.  Mary Wilson Little
  • A wise woman puts a grain of sugar in everything she says to a man, and takes a grain of salt with everything he says to her. Helen Rowland
  • When a love comes to an end, weaklings cry, efficient ones instantly find another love, and the wise already have one in reserve.  Oscar Wilde
  • It’s a wise man who profits by his own experience but it’s a good deal wiser one who lets the rattlesnake bite the other fellow.  Josh Billings
  • Just because your voice reaches halfway around the world doesn’t mean you are wiser than when it reached only to the end of the bar.  Edward R. Murrow
  • When you’re young, you think you can handle anything. By the time you find out otherwise, it’s already too late. You got a stocking wrapped around your neck. Haruki Murakami

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